im 20 and he is 26...hes been divorced but we are sooo happy together and i can actually see myself marrying him. does he have too much baggage? ive been told that by many friends
2006-07-10 17:28:49 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm 7 years older than my husband and had a previous divorce on my record.
We've now been married 7 years and have 2 children and are going strong.
We all have baggage - being married once before isn't the worst you might find, trust me.
If you love him and he loves you, and you're both committed to the "til death do us part" thing, then run with it.
If you understand that you will not be his "first" in this respect, then good for you. My husband never had a problem with me having been married before and it's been a blessing. Because as far as I'm concerned, my first marriage warranted a "mulligan" (do-over), and I got it. I'm very happy now. The age is not that big a deal. Really.
Good luck! Tell your friends to bite their jealous tongues ;)
2006-07-10 17:33:23 · answer #1 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
6 years difference in age isn't important, except for the 6 years between 20 and 26. During your early 20's people change more than they change any other time in their life. You will change your looks, your job, your education, your religious beliefs, your political beliefs, your ideas on whats right and wrong and on and on. He has already gone through these changes and you haven't. The person that you think you are is going to be different in a couple of years, and different again a couple of years after that. The question is, will he still be interested in you after you do all the changing? You should wait. Good Luck
2006-07-10 17:33:50 · answer #2 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can really see where you are coming from. My fiance is 25 and I'm 19...(young I know but I've clepped my way though most of college and I've been overly mature since I was 8...long story) he had alot of bad relationships in his past...lots of girls cheating on him and leaving him in the worst ways one of which he proposed to.
He and I get along great and it's been two years but for awhile we had it rough since we both had our defense mechanisms and he was scared to death of being hurt again...especially the closer we got. It just takes alot of reassurance and taking the time to show how you're different and how you love him.
Like everyone says do what makes you happy...but by all means do no rush into anything. I wholeheartedly recommend moving in with a person before you marry them...when you can withstand your partner's morning routines and daily quirks and the things they spazz over, and still cuddle in their arms at night then you've got the makings of a great relationship.
But if he's been divorced and carrying baggage take things slow and see where things go, by no means pressure him into marrying you...you're young and he's young wait till he's ready and wait till you're absolutely sure that's what you want.
I wish you the best of luck and happiness in whatever happens.
2006-07-10 19:57:03 · answer #3 · answered by misswolfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he's not too old, but you need to ask yourself are you ready for all the responsibilities and can you handle all the baggage. You still have a lot of living to do. Just make sure you are ready and is it gonna make you happy. And you are asking us. remember communication is very important in a relationship. You must trust him and talk to him also. Ask Him. Good Luck and I hope you and him much happiness and success.
2006-07-10 17:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by Reesa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I changed soooooo much from 20 to 24. At the same token, I didn't change that much. Who cares about 6 years in age difference, that is superficial. Age does play a minor role, like music and etc. but those are mostly generation issues, such as a 20 year age difference. Good luck!
2006-07-10 17:33:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it sweetie..I'm madly in love with a man 13 years older than me, with two children. Both of which are closer to my age then I am to his (I'm 20, he's 34). He's been divorced twice..twice! once more than your man, but that doesn't matter. Everyone fell against me when I first fell in love with him. I was kicked out of my parents home, I had best friends snicker and make snide jokes about me behind my back..and to my face..They all told me it wouldn't last, that he would hurt me..It's been over a year now and we're going stronger, and more in love than ever. Keep your eyes open girl about his baggage, whatever it may be. That's all you have to do. Just be mature, for him, and yourself..and all will present itself to you. I hope the best for you, I love when people fall in love! :) Keep us updated, okay?
2006-07-11 01:35:32 · answer #6 · answered by picturegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it's ok... the fact that you guys are happy together and are very much in love..then go ahead take the dive.=D whatever happened in the past should be forgotten... start something new. =D some guys at webdate got divorced an early age too... but I tell you these guys sounded more interesting and more responsible than anyone else.
2006-07-14 23:09:20 · answer #7 · answered by crazyangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to what your friends have to say. If a majority of your friends thinks that he is too old, has too much baggage, or is not the right one for you, they are most likely right. Friends see what we don't when we are blinded by love or lust. Good luck.
2006-07-10 17:33:50 · answer #8 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't too old for you. My wife and I are 6 years apart also, but I would STRONGLY suggest that you wait to get married. Not just a year or two, but at least 3 years, the last of which I suggest you live together first. This may go against popular belief, but believe me. You learn more about a person the first year you live together than you do the rest of your life. Good luck and best wishes. P.S. please update us of your thoughts/decisions. Thanks.
2006-07-10 17:35:28 · answer #9 · answered by Cyberiian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married and divorced by 26 years old? That's pretty darn serious. He may not be the one for you. Depends on his background I guess
2006-07-10 17:41:29 · answer #10 · answered by revoltix 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋