I will be getting married in another year. my maid of honor (my close cousin), is getting close to being obese. I know she wants to lose weight herself, she makes jokes about herself.. but I want to her to lose weight also for herself and my wedding, any nice way to ask? I am willing to work out with her.
2006-07-10 17:10:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What's your goal here, to have photos in which bridesmaids match like chorus girls, or to honor your dear friend and relative? If the former, simply hire professional models as "body doubles" for a photo session. Probably safer to do that anyhow, since any of your other bridesmaids might develop an unsightly rash. Besides, you can choose models to complement your own complexion and coloring, even get a minority women just for the panache.
However, if the idea is to honor your friend, then she is no less worthy of honor simply because there is rather a lot of her physical self. She already knows she is fat. She already knows it's unhealthy and unattractive. Mentioning the matter is neither kind nor helpful. Lay off.
2006-07-10 19:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you asked her to be your maid of honor because you're close to her, not because of how she looks. Anyway, just try to motivate her. You don't have to join a gym, you guys could go for walks, bike rides, or even roller blade together. Motivate her with fun stuff. And if you join her and tell her that you want to look your best on your wedding day, it might work. Also, encourage her to watch what she eats, that's half the battle. One way to motivate her, is to start it out as a competition. Like, say the first person to lose 10 pounds has to take the other one out to lunch. The only problem with that is maybe you don't need to lose any weight. Just don't tell her you want her to lose weight for the wedding, that would hurt her feelings.
2006-07-11 10:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to tell someone that they are your closest friend/family member but they are just not okay the way they are. Why is it so important to you that she lose weight for the wedding? I know you say that you want her to lose weight "for herself" but the only person that can really decide if they want to lose weight is that person. If she wants to lose weight she will, and if she doesn't, she'll probably resent you for asking. It is like saying that she's not good enough as is.
I think other people have thrown out good ideas about getting a gym membership with her, but at the same time if I were you I'd take a step back and ask yourself why it's important to you what size she is.
2006-07-11 01:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford it buy both of you a gym membership to the same club or get two people on one membership. Next time she makes a joke bring it up by saying, "Hey I know we both want to shed some extra pounds and as PART of my bridesmaids gift to you I got you a gym membership so we can workout together" Check into local gyms if you dont have one already. Ballys is great about working one on one with you and answering nutrition questions. I like gym's that are 24 hours a day and have a pool, tanning bed, a sauna available. Entice her with those options.
If she has no interest you cant force her and giving her an ultimatum wont work either. People can be sensitive about their weight issues and when you bring it up its just makes it worse. What ever you do, do not just flat out tell her if she want to fit into a bridesmaid dress she has to drop pounds. If she is a size 20 or more it can cost up to 50 bucks more for her dress. Encourage her and if you go out to eat dont order a double cheese burger with fries and a side of ranch and expect her to order a salad. Dont order dessert and when she wants to go to the cake tasting with you just tell her that only you and your fiance are able to go. Be sensitive to her issue. Its not just a matter of losing weight, she needs POSITIVE motivation.
2006-07-11 00:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's wonderful that you are wlling to work out with her. If she is your maid of honor and your close cousin, you should want her to lose weight b/c you are worried about her health and care about her, not b/c of how she'll look in your wedding photos. Forget about wedding and work out/diet with her b/c it's good for both of you. Good luck and best wishes.
2006-07-11 00:17:05 · answer #5 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the gym memberships, and give one to her as a gift, and let her know you'll be picking her up at such and such a time for it. If she refuses, you are either stuck with an overweight bridesmaid, or you could cut her out of the wedding. If it bothers you that much, you shouldn't have asked her. But you can't expect her to change just because you want her to.
2006-07-11 00:35:32 · answer #6 · answered by Maitri* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not ask her to lose weight to be in your wedding!!!!!
If she wants to lose weight for herself, that's one thing,
but if you want her to be your maid of honor, then you must think alot of her, so don't insult her by making her weight an issue for your wedding.
2006-07-11 00:27:14 · answer #7 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she makes jokes about herself, but no, it isn't right to ask her to lose weight - that's a decision that she has to make for herself, and she might become offended if you do. If you decide to ask her, just make sure that you don't come right out and ask her, and don't get gym memberships - that's just like getting a stick of deoderant for someone who has a BO problem. They might take offense to it, and it will put strain onto the relationship.
2006-07-11 00:31:49 · answer #8 · answered by c.grinnell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say "hey can we start working out together. I need a work out buddy cause i need to lose weight before my wedding." However if she already BOUGHT her bridesmaid dress, then she cant lose too much weight or it wont fit and she will have to pay a ton extra to fix it.
2006-07-11 02:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would be rude to ask her to lose weight for your wedding. You want her to look better for your wedding photos. If you seriously cared about her, you would have helped her before.
You should be happy for your relationship with her and not think about how your wedding will look like with her in them.
she has to seriously want to lose weight and it is often difficult to lose weight for someone of her condition. Working out with her a few times won't make the weight float off, she has to seriously be committed. Don't mention it, let her.
2006-07-11 00:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋