I forgot to tip the waitress....need ideas.....?

Question

My neighbor, who was my waitress one night a month before I moved into my house, came out to talk to me tonight after a year of being here. We got to talking and she stated that we didn't tip her at the place she used to work. I told her I was sorry, and had had bad experiences there, and couldn't be more sorry. Honestly, I did forget, because we paid by check at the register, and didn't have any cash on us that night, I always tip if the waitress is good, and don't when she has not done her job. She said she was pretty mad because she busted her butt. I feel like a shlub. I don't want to be remembered for the person thats stiffed her on a tip. How do I make it up to her. Send her the tip in a card, send her flowers with an appology...I need some good ideas. The best idea gets 10 points!!!!

Answer 1

Just tell her the truth. If she's worth tipping, she'll understand. If she needs more, she probably didn't deserve the tip in the first place.

Answer 2

As someone who used to be a waitress (and to defend all servers from the "tacky" comments of other people)...

Servers get stiffed for a whole bunch of different reasons. And it sucks, because we totally lose out on our pay when you don't pay us. Servers make 2.13 an hour, which pretty much just covers taxes. Most servers do not get pay checks at all. The worst is when bad things happen that are outside of the servers control and they take a paycut for it. Use your imagination, and I can guarantee that it has happened. Servers are usually upset when they get stiffed... even worse when customers go out of their way to leave a penny, just a penny, on the table. Because she knew you, she felt comfortable enough to tell you that it upset her. To people who believe that this is tacky, think of you working at your neighbors house for an hour, helping with plumbing, raking, whatever, and your neighbor just kind of smiling at you when you had expected to get a piece of cake or five bucks or *something*. Sure, it is a difficult topic to bring up... and if she brought it up by accusing you or shouting, then that is definitely not cool, but if she just told you that it upset her because that's her grocery money... then that's another thing.

I think a card and the tip amount would be a really, really nice gesture. However, if she belittled you for not tipping, you don't owe her anything regardless of how bad you feel. As I said, there's a difference in how you tell someone.

And if you ever realize that you forgot a tip again... usually a server's name is on the receipt, and speaking from experience here, servers love it when people come back in (even if it's the next day or later that week) and tip us. It makes us feel really good in a job that isn't always very rewarding.

Answer 3

I wait tables and have worked in the restaraunt industry for 9 years now and I put myself through school. Its a completely thankless job and no one really appreciates how hard it is and can be. I can tell the difference between busy service and bad service. I know the ends and outs and when we do bust our *** to take care of the guest and arent tipped it is frustrating.

It was rude of her to bring that up though. I would never do that although there are things I think but do not say. In Texas we are paid 2.13 and hour plus tips. We have to pay an average of 3 percent tip pool to our buss staff and bar staff. So if your bill is 100 dollars and you dont tip it just cost that server three dollars PLUS the time you took up that table. I have never been to a place where you paid at the counter with a credit card that did not have a tip line on the voucher but that doesnt mean they dont exist.

If your food is late and cold or the hostess was rude and the bar drink was watered down that is not our fault. We dont cook your food, we dont make your drinks, we dont seat you and give you wrong wait times and all too often people take it out on us. Now if I go out to eat and the server is rude and the management unapologetic I wont tip but it is a very demanding job. If my meal is overcooked I blame the cooks. Most people are just ignorant of what type of person it really takes to be able to do this job well. So I understand her frustration completely but not her lack of manners. If you truly feel the need to "tip" her and can remember what bill was or at least an average. Get her a gift certificate that equals 25 percent of the bill. A decent tip for average service is 15%. If you get good service 20% is appropriate. But since you feel the need 25% is ok in this instance. So if your bill was 40 dollars get her something that equals 10. That is no more than you would have given her in the restaurant and more than I would give her after rudely confronting me. If I was ever to say something like that I would phrase it differently. I would at least ASK if everything was ok that night and if did something wrong. Usually then someone will ask why and then I would go into, "Well that night I worked really hard to take care of you and I'm not upset but you didn't tip me and if I did something wrong or there was a problem would you please let me know so I cam make sure I dont do that again"

If you want to tip her by all means you can. But if she waits tables still and you know where she works a more comfortable situation would be to go sit in her section when you know she is working and at the end of the meal leave her twice the amount you normally would but no less that what you would have tipped her before at 20percent. I forgot to tip once but I went back the next day and apologized and gave the waitress 10 bucks, youd be surprised how much people appreciate just being thought of.

And if you pay by check just add the amount of tip to the total so if the bill is 25.36 and you want to leave 5 bucks then write a check for 30.36. Management takes the 5 dollars in cash out of drawer and will give it to the waitperson. Just so you know for future references.

Answer 4

Was this some sort of coming clean session the two of you had where you finally figured out why you didn't become friends? Are you friends now? Or is the woman still angry about it?

For future reference, if you pay by check or credit, you should include the tip in there.

I would either give her a good tip the next time you eat at the restaurant or send a gift. How much of a tip are we talking? $5? $10? Maybe you could give her a starbucks coffee card or something like that.

Answer 5

hmmm, well she remembered you is good, and she even remembered you didn't tip. To me, that would be something to laugh about with each other. I don't know her, but it sounds like she is just after money or something, I mean, we all do it, if we don't like the service, and sometimes just don't always have cash on hand, people just cant be expected to get a tip all the time. Life goes on, and for her to make you feel bad is wrong., I mean, she chosed her "job", and you are not the only one that forgets so say to leave a tip. that deal is done and over with, I wouldn't cater to her. What does she hold a grudge against the other hmm, 40-50% of people that don't tip, does she chase them down? Dont give into her, she may end up expecting it all the time, and by that, I mean, just other stuff, none work related, hand outs I guess. Don't feel bad, she should be the one to feel bad since she made you feel bad. I mean come on, you aren't the only one to not leave tip all the time, If waitress's "begged" for tips days/weeks after serving you, then they have issues.....
I've had enough of this, I can't go on.. Just don't worry of it, things happen, OH, I've said enough, I hope you see my point..

Answer 6

As I read the answers left to this message I come to believe not alot of people that are answering have been a server.
Waiting tables is a very hard job that dont give many benefits, most waitress's will only make min. wage and never see a raise. Also in some states its manditory to claim a percentage of each customers bill to the IRS. So for example where i live in Ca. If you sit down and order I wil have to claim 8% of your bill to the IRS. So if you dont tip i basically paid for u to sit down and eat, while i work my butt of to make sure you are happy.
I also dont think it was rude or disrespectful for her to mention the fact he didnt tip.. If you didnt pay your light bill do you think that the electric company would go with you knowing. Same thing she is there to support her family. if she was a good server she totally deserved a tip.
I dont think you need to go all out and give her flowers but just next time you go eat at the place of her employment just tip her double what you would normally do, and a apology...

Answer 7

Don't feel bad because if she was any kind of decent waitress she would be a people person. So the fact that she brought it up says she's not. And this is a year later? Mentioning is shows a total lack of consideration for you as a person especially since you are a neighbor.In fact it shows a total lack of class and I wouldn't want to know this person. Send a card with a $20.00 in it if you must but steer clear after that. She is obviously small, cheap and a panhandler.

Answer 8

I would buy a little floral bouquet and deliver it personally to her door. I think a tip at this point would be an insult.
You have to understand, if she still remembers you as a person who stiffed her, you do not stand very high in her eyes. Just because you did not have cash on you really does not matter.
When you dine out, you should be prepared to tip your server.
If you feel they have not done their job, you need to speak to the manager.
A waitress makes nothing on the hour. They live on what the public provides based on service. Even if they have not lived up to your expectations, they still have provided a service.
Nothing is unacceptable.
I am not trying to be rude, I am just trying to make you understand where she is coming from.
Deliver the flowers, apologize, and forget about it.
The thing is, she did have that conversation with you. She is not upset at this point. She probably just wanted to make you aware.

Answer 9

girl.... dont even do a thing for her. That was rude for her to even bring it up. How does she know that you even had the money to tip her. That is the chance she takes being a waitress. It is hard work but that woman has issues! With that kind of attitude I can see why you probably didnt tip her. Dont feel bad and DO NOT SEND HER ANYTHING! Dont worry about how she remembers you, I am sure there are lots of people that remember you for the good... stay focused on them... not her!

Answer 10

actually, if you forgot thats one thing, but she has no class or belongs being a waitress by telling you that you forgot to tip her. she has alot of nerve bringing it up and even getting mad about it. she busted her chops more by telling you that she was mad she didn't get a tip from you. i wouldn't even talk to her if she has the gall to approach you about it. were you the only customer? i have had good waitresses and very bad in my time. she could and should get fired for that kind of actions. sounds like greedy with the big b.

Answer 11

What you need to understand is most waitresses make way less than minimum wage they rely on tips. If your food was bad, its not thier fault..thats the cook who makes way way more ! If its cold it could be the waitress or the cook. I try to always tip no matter what..like i said they rely on it and yes I think they should make a decent effort since it is their way of survival, but I think you should defiantly send her a card, a gift certificate to a nice restaraunt and a flower to let her know you understand!