yelling!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

How can i stop my child from whining. I tried the ignoring, the time outs, the holding, the seperation, the corner. I'm at a loss. He is just so sesitive that I can't do any thing without him yelling in my face.

he is 5 and he is whining and it gets to the point that he is screaming.

Answer 1

Let him sit in his room for hours at a time. He'll stop.

Answer 2

Screaming should be unacceptable behavior. I had a whiner and I found that removing her from everybody else when she whined or cried. I would put her in her room and made sure that she knew I was going along with my own business. The trick is, you CANNOT go into that room until the behavior has ended. Tell the child when he stops, then he can come out. My daughter would go as far as lie on the floor and cry through the crack under the door. But the straw that broke her camel's back was when I sent her to her room and she didn't get the door shut all the way. She was screaming and crying, but all I did was go and pull the door closed. I think that was the 3rd time I had sent her to her room for this behavior. One minute after I shut the door, she came out with a smile on her face. She knew crying and whining was not going to get her what she wants. It will take a few times and the 1st can last up to an hour or more, depending on how stubborn you are. If you do this after a few times, without going in or yelling at them for the behavior (this only gets them the attention they want) each instance will be shorter and in no time there will be whine-free days. Good Luck.

Answer 3

You've got a few options, given that you haven't explored them already:

A good swat. I don't care what anyone says... My parents swatted me, and I made it just fine. I didn't drop out of school, I don't hate my parents, and I have a nice, high-paying career. When a child needs a swat, nothing else will do.

If physical isn't your style, though, a couple other things you could try:

The ignoring thing is cute, but most people who suggest it only have it half-right... Simply ignoring it will not always yield results. Children learn by relation and differentiation... If they don't have anything to relate being ignored to, and nothing to compare it to, they're not going to learn from it. The *proper* method that ignoring undesired behavior should be applied to also involves rewarding good behavior. Not always exceptional behavior, mind you -- Any kind of improvement, or even just a consistent good behavior, should be rewarded in some way, be it words of praise, a piece of candy, so on. Children will learn to do what they can expect will be considered desirable behavior by you, and will usually try to convert unrewardable behavior into something they can benefit from. It is, of course, important to ensure you don't spoil the child using this method. It has to be done carefully.

Another thing you might try would be the "spray" method. I'm not particularly fond of this one in most cases, if for no other reason than the fact that it seems like something you'd do to a dog, not a child, but nevertheless, in some situations, it works and it works well. Basically, you get a little spray bottle, fill it with water, and keep it with you throughout the day. If he starts to throw a tantrum, you simply spray him with the bottle. A short, simple spray, nothing excessive; You're trying to discourage him, not torture him. As I said, this has some psychological implications that I'm generally not fond of in the least, but as a last ditch, it usually can be very successful.

I maintain that what he may need is just a good smack on the bottom. There's nothing that any creature with normal thought patterns responds to like pain or discomfort, in any degree. It need not be brutal, just a good swat, and a stern "No" or "Stop." If, as I said before, this is simply not something you want to have to resort to, give the other ideas a try, but do yourself a favor and don't rule it out entirely.

Keep in mind that all the while, you should definitely be trying to figure out exactly what's wrong. Nearly anything a child does to draw attention is just an attempt at communication. Children are born with only a select few instictive methods of communication... It's very important that you make every effort to teach them more and better methods, as they'll obviously need them all the way down the road.

Answer 4

Next time he starts up, take away a privilege immediately and hold to it for an entire day; if he whines again during that day, take away another privilege. Put a chart up that he can see with a picture of the things he has lost use of and stick with it. You can include toys, play time, games, videos, etc. Be consistent and be firm and he will get the picture. Start the next day with a clean slate and keep it up and don't give in. You are the boss, not him.
And always use a firm and proper voice...not a baby voice or a childlike voice, at all times and tell him you expect him to do the same.

Answer 5

Look folks, it may not be popular, but it does work.

Whining, yelling and screaming is not a "sensitivity" issue, it is a tantrum. 85% of your adult personality is formed by the time you are six years old; that means you have precious little time to turn this around in your child, or you are unleashing an unbearable adult on the rest of society.

When you tell your child to stop bad behaviour, regardless of what it is, and he does not stop, then you give him a spank. A couple of whaps on his behind will definitely get his attention. If he does not stop with that, or fights you back, whap him a couple more times and put him in his room until he settles down enough to suit you. If you have to stand on the other side of the door holding it shut, fine, but he must experience the negative sanction for the negative bahaviour, and you must not compromise with him.

He is too young to reason with. He does not have the cognitive ability at five to understand the abstract concept of consequences. It is something that must be experienced at this young age to be fully understood.

You are the parent. When you plead with him, he wins. He learns that there are no set boundaries, no expectations on his behaviour, and worst of all, he learns that if he exhibits bad and worse behaviour, he will get what he wants. We all know adults like this and we can't stand them. Do you really want that for your son?

You're not trying to hurt him, you're trying to train him. You are teaching him that there are consequences, just like in the real world. If he acts that way in school, he gets suspended or expelled. When he acts that way on the job, he will get fired. He will eventually blame you for not teaching him about consequences, and he will be correct.

You will have to take the hard line with him, be consistent and don't give an inch. After two or thee weeks like this -- a very short period of time, really -- he will have learned a new way and will be much less unruly, and then you can start relaxing your stance with him.

Remind him constantly of your expectations and their rewards or consequences. You can say things like, "You don't get what you want when you act this way," and then make sure he doesn't.

Or, "See, when you're a nice boy, you get to do nice things," and then make sure he does. You don't have to go out of your way, just allow him to do the things that he already likes, like watch his favorite tv show. He will very quickly attribute his behaviour to his circumstances.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

Have you tried spanking him??? I don't mean brutally beating him but a good swift swat to the hiney does wonders! Whining is different from yelling....my kids whine when they are tired and hungry not 1 of my kids would ever consider yelling at me much less up in my face. Even my teenager! Next time he does it, if dad is around, have dad grab him by the arm say firmly "You Will NOT talk to your mother like that"! Pop him on the butt and send him to his room. Do not feel sorry for him not matter how much he screams and crys. You have to get this under control now or it will progress.

Answer 7

wow 5 years old and uncontrollable. Okay I would suggest that since he is 5 and he understands when you talk to him you need to praise him when he isn't whinning and reward him with little things for not screaming all day or week. You can buy small items out of the dollar store. Now this cant be something that he can ask for, for example he cant say I haevn't screamed all day mom so give me ..... Just pick him up and hug him or kiss him and tell him that your so proud of him for using his words. If this doesent work then you put your foot down telll him that for now on when he whines or screams he will loose one toy out of his room. He can earn it back if he goes a day without cutting up. You must stick to whatever you decide to do. Kids are smart so if yout tell him your going to do something then do it. When you take the tou out of the room if he continues to cry tell him that your going to count to 20 if he is not quiet by then you will take another toy. When you get to the 10 mark remind him that once you get to twenty that he will loose another toy.Continue to count to twenty and then go from there according to his behavior. Children need consistency and structure and it is our responsibility to give it to them. It may be hard at first but dont give in, tuff it out. The reason why I say dont give him a reward everytime is because he needs to understand that screaming an whinning isn't acceptable and will not be tolerated. We dont want to send him the message that he needs to stop these behaviors so he can get a smll toy, he needs to learn that it is wrong. Good luck! oh one last thing when he does this dont display anger! In the beginning you will have to tell him why your counting and that your now taking the toy butafter he gets use to it dont say a word. Count softly out loud and then take away the toy. Silence does wonders.

Answer 8

I say, "I'm sorry, I don't understand whinespeak". I have a 5 year old who whines as well, but he doesn't scream at me. I do not answer him other than that phrase until he stops the whining. And even if he did scream, I think I would still "not understand" until he calmed down. Good luck!

Answer 9

At five years old, your son may be asking for attention. When he does it, immediately tell him to stop and that screaming is not appropriate. DO NOT yell it at him. It will only prompt him to yell back. After you tell him it is inappropriate, tell him that if he yells again he will go into time out for 5 minutes. If you are indoors, try putting him outside for 5 minutes. Letting him know that if he wants to scream he can do so outside, but not in the house.

If you scream at him in return, he will continue to screech. I've had this problem with my 2 year old. When he screams, I whisper to him that he is too loud and that he needs to use his inside voice. When he continues to yell, he goes out on the back porch until he stops. Since he doesn't like to be where he cannot see me, it doesn't last long. Within 2 weeks, he stopped screaming in the house.

When it comes to whinning, you have to ignore it unless your child does not know how to express what he needs in words. Use your teachable moments. If it is that he cannot express himself, once you supply his need, take that time to talk with him about a more appropriate way to get what he wants the next time. Role playing will work at times, since kids that age love to play pretend. You will find that as he LEARNS more appropriate ways to express what he wants, the whinning will decrease.

Answer 10

My son is five also. He has a tendency to whine when he is very tired, so we have to take naps on some days, when we can still from time to time and that tends to help.
Also we tell him to use his big boy voice and he might get his way. Whining - he never gets his way, even if we would normally give it to him, etc. We also tell him at the time - You arent getting this cause you were whining. Please use your big boy voice so we can talk about what you want... and maybe we can get it for you... etc. Or maybe we can do 'whatever' he is wanting to do etc.

Good luck... its the age tho... he'll grow out of it.
No matter what you chose to do, you have to be consistant, and consistant according to Dr. Phil is a min of 30 days of doing the same thing. :) Good luck!

Answer 11

OK, is your child whining, or is he yelling? How old is the child? Have you had his hearing tested?
I know from experience with my own children that the more "tuned out" I am with them, the more prone to yelling to get my attention they get. It seems that little ones do what works when it comes to attention. Negative attention is the same in the mind of a child as positive attention, so I always try to underline the positive attention, and try not to be preoccupied too often.