I always thought of marriage as just a piece of paper,but lately its been weighing on my mind. Arent I worth being more than just "the girlfriend"..or "the mom". I wont give an ultimatum for this , if Im not what hes looking for in a wife then we can move on. But Im beginnning to think Im wasting my time
2006-07-10 15:54:40 · 10 answers · asked by thisreallymylife? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't do that to your kids.... That would be sad...
2006-07-10 15:59:01 · answer #1 · answered by 9:07.04.p.m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you haven't paid your dues long enough to leave. If there is not abuse in the relationship then you need to stay. Here's why: First of all in most states. in the USA, you are already considered common law married. You don't get the "just a piece of paper" but you do get the advantages of legally being married. I know, I know, that isn't enough. You want the piece of paper and the ring; and you are right to want it. You need to get your man's undivided attention so he can hear you out. You both need to be sober, clean and straight to have this conversation. Tell him how much you love him and that he will always be the man of you life. Tell him that as you two get older you are beginning to realize that the two of you are more of a couple than most of your friends that aren't married, and that you are even more of a couple than some of your friends that are married. Also tell him that as you grow older you realize that you might not have been ready to get married when you were younger, but now with the kids and the life that you are building together, you now believe that being married legally and cerimoniously is one of the most important things you can do. It's important for your kids, your friends and your family members to realize that you two are now ONE.
Don't make threats, don't give ultimatiums, just have him talk to respond to what you said and listen to him. He needs to realize that you aren't kidding and that you have never been more serious and that the ball is in his court to do the right things like propose, set a date and get married. Never give up, you deserve what you want. Good Luck
2006-07-10 16:15:14 · answer #2 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just thinking of this NOW? Two kids and you're not married! Honey, don't issue an ultimatum, but tell him in no uncertain terms that the two of you are getting married! Please do this for your kids...for them, all the legal stuff counts. Marriage will "legitimize" your kids and will protect them under the law. You loved him enough to bring two kids into the world with him, and unless he's abusive, you owe it to the children to get married and, frankly, to grow up! And as for not feeling appreciated, honey...JOIN THE CLUB! I've been married 17 years, two kids, I work, and the man STILL doesn't empty out his pockets before I do the laundry!
Life is not perfect, but it can be perfectly good enough. Do it for the kids. In 20 years, you'll be glad you did.
Peace and God bless.
2006-07-10 16:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by tiggyman41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cut him off tell him no more "free milk" my daughter was 11 months old when i got married. i told my hubby that if we were not married by the time she was 1 that i wasnt getting married. he cut it really close but we had a big wedding and 6 years latter we are still very much in love. you are not getting any younger. and i agree, it is just a peice of paper but its nice when your name is on that paper and you know that you are the one that he chooses to spend the rest of his life with. dont give up honey just push him a little! if he really knows that you are the one, he will marry you. we were together for 4 years and i felt the same way you do! hang in there but be strong for u and your kids. and if that doesnt work tell him you get a bigger tax break at the end of the year when you are married lol good luck
2006-07-10 16:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by onkatt69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married and he is not then you may want to consider your options. Tell him you want to make your family official and get married. If he does not like it tell him you don't like the living arrangement anymore and will not settle for less than being his wife. He may come around once he understands you are serious. It might take a drastic measure to open his eyes to see he does need you and the children. If moving out for awhile is what it takes, do it.
2006-07-10 16:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow... it took 5 years and two kids to make that realization.... sigh.
well,at least you made it. Go to court, get support for your kids and keep on steppin' honey. Cause YOU ARE worth MORE than being someone's shack partner.
Love defends, love protects, love wants the best for the other person.
2006-07-10 16:00:26 · answer #6 · answered by blkrose65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has kids with you, he OVIOUSLY loves you. Maybe he's trying to pop the question in a special time, don't do anyhting to make the kids sad, or mad. Be careful on your decision
2006-07-10 16:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by LoLa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely... 2 responses in a unmarried. possibly you ought to have reported marriage formerly making babies?! 2d and maximum significant reaction:no count what takes position between you and him, you've 2 babies. that is no longer a waste of time. solid success.
2016-10-14 08:17:18 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that you don't mean you'll be walking away from your kids. I would suggest that you talk to him, let him know how you feel, and if he doesn't feel the same, move on. (With your children.)
2006-07-10 15:59:41 · answer #9 · answered by Maitri* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as far as we know we only get one shot at life do you want to spend it being unhappy?
2006-07-10 16:06:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋