me but when were together he feels so guilty because he had cheated on her before and he wants to be good i want him but i'am sort of glad he is married so i'am not trap in another relationship. i'am not a home wreaker and i would never compromise his home he a nice guy and was there for me but what do i do he want to be with me and then he doesn't i don't know how to feel
2006-07-10 15:23:55 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just do whats in your heart
2006-07-13 08:32:19 · answer #1 · answered by just4fun 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My dear, listen to the words of wisdom given already by so many of the posters. Do not involve yourself any further with this man. You may not see it right now but there are red flags every where indicating why this is a bad idea.
Do this...get yourself a pad and pen and look at it objectively listing pros and cons to this relationship and see how it turns out. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life but moreover to shed some insight into areas that you perhaps haven't looked at clearly. A. He's married - red flag; B. he's admitted his cheating past - so he's a serial cheater; C. he's more than likely very dishonest - case in point: look at his marriage and what he's doing with you.; D. finally, there's children involved, at least he says there are. All of which are red flags!
There's just too much to lose to get involved with a married guy. Why bother? There are tons and tons of great single guys out there that would be wonderful for you. Put some of your effort toward investing in a healthly relationship with a single guy. In the long run you'll be glad you did :)
Tell him to go home and pay as close attention to his wife and kids as he's trying to do with you. He'll feel better as a person too--well maybe...
Best of luck to ya :)
-Danny
2006-07-10 15:53:17 · answer #2 · answered by Danny M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question " ...he feels so guilty because he had cheated on her before ....." Yeah, and he's still with her. An old axiom is that why should a farmer buy the cow when he gets the milk for free. He's already cheated on her and she still has him around. He already cheated on her and he's still with her. What makes you think that in the long run he's going to leave her and go with you for the long term.
My advice ( if you want it ) unless this is just a sex thing and you don't want a long term marital relationship with this guy, RUN THE OTHER WAY !
As for how to feel, the way you feel is just the right way. You're just confused because he's asking for you to break your moral code.
2006-07-10 15:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by yodeladyhoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship. You say you aren't a home wrecker, then what are you doing sleeping with a married man? Sounds like you are wreckin a home to me. And he might be a nice guy to you, but he isn't being very nice to his wife and family now, is he? You are just a lay, you say he's cheated before, and when he is done with you, he will cheat on her again. Nice guy...yeah right.
2006-07-10 15:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer.....He's married....that should be the end of it. Think about it? Most of us as women want to be married and have a family right? How would you feel if the man that you married were cheating with another woman? You would probably be hurt and feel deceived. His wife is no different.....She has feelings just like you do, and as far as he is concerned, he is probably just waiting to cheat again....remember he basically has nothing to loose because more than likely, he's not leaving home. Be wise, but most of all be safe......................
2006-07-10 15:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know what you need to do. You said it yourself he cheated on his wife before you and felt guilty and decided to 'be good' ... but he is back into cheating with you on his wife again.
I've said it a million times ... if someone wants out of a marriage because they are so unhappy then they should end the marriage before the start any new relationship.
It doesn't sound to me like you want this man for a long term relationship ... he is sort of your transition man from you getting out of a long relationship and not really being ready to enter into a new one.
You might not think you are a home wrecker, but if that man's wife finds out about you what do you really think will happen. It won't matter to her if you want her man long term or not.
My suggestion is get out before someone really gets hurt!!
Good luck
2006-07-10 15:33:33 · answer #6 · answered by J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married men often feed off the emotions they can entice by saying how much they do not want to hurt their wife and how rotten they feel about the idea of cheating, yet the home life is so tough. "she doesn't love or understand me, not like you."
Don't be nieve, the guy is trying to attract you so that he can feel better about himself. Just as everyone else is saying, if he cheats with you he will cheat on you. There are plenty of good single guys out there, you might want to examine why you are so attracted to guy who is not available, as you said it might be that he feels safe because he is married. I assure you he is not. Ask Joey Butifucco.
2006-07-10 15:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by dante632000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, if you and him get serious, do you honestly believe he won't end up doing the same thing to you? He is committed but is cheating, and you are not more special than his girlfriend, no matter what he says, and not matter what you feel. Wake up and smell the adultry. I think what is giving you the rush is being able to be with someone, but still have that "free" feeling since he can't be in a real relationship with you right now.
2006-07-10 15:28:17 · answer #8 · answered by gplay2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you continue to see him you should feel used. That is all that he is doing, using you. If he has cheated before he will cheat again. Let the cheat go home to his wife before he starts coming home to you.
You say that you don't want to feel trapped in another relationship...cop out if ever I heard one. If you truly do not want a committed relationship then don't start one. But don't let that be your excuse to date a married man. There are plenty of single men that don't want to feel trapped in a relationship too. Find yourself one of them and let Mr. & Mrs. Married deal with their own problems...don't be one of the problems.
2006-07-10 15:35:24 · answer #9 · answered by gmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to back away from him. If you mean you are not a home wrecker. if a man or woman cheats once they will cheat twice. You need to be a better person than what you are doing. You just wrote that you were glad he was with her so you do not want a relationship.
2006-07-10 15:29:35 · answer #10 · answered by liza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That guy is worthless.
He is just chasing you for sex. He wants to appear caring and sympathetic so he plays the I want to be with you game. That makes you feel wanted and confused. Which is where he wants you. He wants you in an emotional reasoning mode rather than a rational one otherwise he can't get any from you.
Because if you are rational you can see he is purely selfish and manipulative. View all interactions in this light and you will see much more clearly.
Don't walk away, run away from this guy.
2006-07-10 15:31:13 · answer #11 · answered by lovingdaddyof2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋