Unsure of what to think?

Question

I recently lost a lot of weight and i'm starting to turn into a different person. My family says I look much skinnier, and I am catorgorized as healthy now, but when I look in the mirror I see all the things people used to call me. I don't see what others see. People say I have a wonderful inside and now i have a wonderful outside to match it, but I just can't except a compliment. I have a fear that when someone special comes along, I wont be able to nodice it because of how I view myself. Is there anyone out there feeling the same way as me, or with some advice?

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel. Of course, my problem is quiet the other way. I was at the correct weight for my height & body build but when I became sick I had to be put on steriods and I swelled up like a balloon. I just cried. But my husband keeps telling me that I am beautiful. I couldn't see it at that time and I still can't see it. I went from 135 to 295 because of steriods and now I am down to 211. I slowly lost weight when my doctor started tapering me off the steriods I got down to 236 & then after having black outs I was admitted into the hospital and when I was weighed the nurse told me that I was 218..I had lost 18lbs in one week. Not good at all. I just couldn't eat. I had gotten to the point that I wanted to not only be beautiful I wanted to feel beautiful. That is what led me to be admitted in the hospital. I was totally dehydrated & was starving. My stomach would growl and I would take a bite of a cracker or just drink one sip of water. Water tasted nasty & it doesn't even have a taste. I will be off the steriods in another 2 weeks so I am so happy. I have come a long way since being admitted into the hospital. I realized that I was killing myself just over the fact that I couldn't see what others saw. I could only see the huge woman in the mirror.
Find someone you can confide in to help you get your confidence up. You deserve the chance to look in the mirror and say, "Oh my gosh, look how beautiful I am!"
Currently, I am still working on that step>>and yes, I am talking to a psycologist to help me out<< My husband and my daughter are a great inspiration for me but I have so many health issues that I needed someone outside my family to talk to and I chose a psycologist. Psycologist can't prescribe medicine, so don't think you will be put on meds if you go to talk to one.

Answer 2

I had a rough childhood, I was in Catholic school and was one of the guys that everyone picked on including most of the girls. I still have image problems which are not helped since I am about 50-60 pounds over weight. I have a really hard time letting people get too close to me. Mentally I still turn positive comments to negative. I have been lucky to find a couple of really good women who have been able to love me for who I am. My current girlfriend is not perfect either and we try to encourage each other. The best advice that I can give you is to learn to say thank you to any complement, it is hard at first but gets easier. Another is to think about the positive instead of the negative. As time goes by, it gets easier.

Answer 3

First, congratualations on your weight loss. I KNOW how VERY hard it is to take a lot of weight off.

It is VERY common for a person's self image (psyche) to lag behind a major physical change. In other words, your thinking hasn't adjusted yet to all the changes you've made. Using affirmations can help reorient your thinking. Consider starting each day by looking in the mirror and saying to yourself, "I'm attractive. I've improved and am now happier with myself." If you can reprogram your thinking, hopefully you'll notice that new someone!

Answer 4

I find it hard to take compliments when i dont agree with them. But you have to let others compliment you and know that they mean what they are telling you. And try and still remember what you were like before you lost the weight. Don't change your inside just because the outside looks different. That is not always easy given that others are probably treating you different now which is bound to change who you are anyways. Good luck on feeling as good on the inside as what you look like to others now.

Answer 5

My one friend is like that... it's probably because you were used to being called mean things and now you aren't used to being called very flattering things. It'll take some time to get used to. In the meantime, accept the compliments and use them to wash out the mean things people said. Instead of thinking, "Ewww I'm ugly." think "Wow! I'm beautiful!".

And no, if you are healthy then you aren't anerexic, as the one other person said.

Answer 6

This is common. A plastic surgeon wrote Psychocybernetics (I read it when I was 10) about ugly women who became beautiful with surgery. Many still considered themselves ugly woman.

So you could see a psychologist for a few months or take the time to read this whole webpage below. Your choice. It has info about how great you are with info from top psychologists and religion. Maybe it has the seccret of life. It gets great praise.

Answer 7

I lost a large amount of weight and it took a long time for me to be able to see the difference that everyone else saw. I lost all my weight by good diet and good exersice program. However If you are having a hard time mentally with the whole transission, that I suggest seeing a physican about your Mental Health. Good luck to you! :)

Answer 8

You might want to look into information on a condition called "Body Dismorphic Disorder" Click this link and see if this applies to what your feeling. Hope it helps.
http://www.ncpamd.com/body_dysmorphic_disorder.htm

Answer 9

Give importance other than your mirror.

Answer 10

You sound like you may be anorexic. Please speak with your doctor about seeing a specialist in dealing with self-image and eating disorders.