Has something that is just as effective or more effective then Toilet Paper been invented yet?

Question

If so what is it, if not do you have any ideas?

(I could be wrong but I was under the impression that not all toilet paper was made from Recycled paper)

Why am I asking this, I use too much toilet paper. Recycled no dye toilet paper is either too expensive or if it’s cheap it’s way too hard like sand paper I swear. I don’t like the “folding” method b/c I think it’s gross and I like to be very clean and dry (so no I do not like those wet wipes, they feel nasty until you wipe yourself dry again LOL).

The dilemma is I really do use too much Toilet Paper, and I feel I am the mother of destruction of all trees at the rate I use toilet paper and nose tissue combined LOL, so I’m wondering about my alternatives.

;-)
Currently I am using Scot Extra Soft 600 sheets per roll.
Sometimes I use their cheap 1000 sheets since it lasts me longer then any other LOL (and doesn't feel like sand paper either to me).

P.S.
an alternative that doesn't involve TREES
(or anything that may hurt the environment in abundance of use ... ok)

something that doesn't have to be washed, something that I can just throw away with no worries... I don't want to put OR touch anything that nasty, I don't want to wash that with my CLOTHS EEeeewwwwwww
(good idea, but I'm still grossed out)

Ok I don't think you people understand how much TP I really use, this is serious even my BF gets onto me c0z I fill up the bathroom trash so fast LOL.

I use like 24 rolls of 1000 sheet Scots TP in a month. Come one!!! That is WAY too much compared to what some of my friends use. I know it's bad c0z other people realize how much I use, dude if other people know you biz without u tellin' them that that means it's serious LOL. Work with me here ppl!

Dude I am SO not taking a shower everytime I go to the bathroom, that's like takin' ALOT of showers in one day... I am SO not runnin' up my water bill or runnin' my hot water down like that (I like my hot showers). So NO I do not think taking a shower EVERY time I go to the bathroom would be a wise choice for me, that is not bein' forreal, I mean I got other things to do then be in the shower for most of the day LOL.

Ok work with me here ppl, I am tryin' to find less gross solutions then a Bidet or someones mouth on my @ss ok...

Let me be clear what I think is gross:
If I have to touch it afterwords (it's gross)
If it involves someone else (that's disturbing and gross)
If I have to wash it (that's gross - same as touching it afterwords)
If my hands touch that area while it's not clean (that is SO gross, so please no one say finger nails ok - this goes back to I DO not want to touch it)

A funny side note:
yall know, my Grandpa joked to me one time (but he was telling the truth) that back in the day he use to use corn cobs, but he did say it was uncomfrable (and I don't think that would work for my front LOL I'm a girl) other then that he also mentioned leafs and newpaper (of course he was reffering to back in the day when he was growin' up with very little money so go figure).

(just to let people know I AM SO NOT USING leafs!!! Hello there's like bugs on them DUH, gross)

Hey "the great satan" thanks for the LINK
:)
Hey there's this thingy called a "Muslim shower" I think it would be cool if I used that in combo with a Bidet (that way I'm fairly clean b4 I use the Bidet so that way it's not as gross, COOL yall might be on to something here)
THANKS

anymore sugestions are welcome, who knows maybe I'll find out some more COOL stuff LOL.

So Hmm a lota / Muslim shower and maybe a washer cloth to pat dry with after eh? Maybe... something to try out when I feel up to it

Thank you all for yalls knowledge and patients with me (and having patients for my ignorance from only knowing toilet paper and a western toilet LOL)
THAK U!!!

Answer 1

Bidet.

Answer 2

wash rags, save em in a diaper pale, wash em seperate from your regular laundry. or get a bidet with douch then the wash cloth can be applied in the dry, and are easier to wash. Feminine hygein is much improved by the "with douch" part and you feel fresher more often..

Answer 3

According to James Joyce, the best thing to use is the downy neck of a goose! (Not that I've ever tried it.) Maybe you could get yourself a little sheet of thin Teflon and wash it and re-use it...? I'm not trying to be gross, I just don't know what else to suggest.

Answer 4

The romans used sponges.
they may be a natural resource, but they could be farmed or synthetic versions created from plant waste, eg cotton.
and they are re-useable.

Punishment detail was to wash the legion's sponges. Nowadays you could just put in the washing machine on quick wash

Answer 5

yes, there are quite a few ways of inducing total, utter, and permanent constipation. you will start to feel a tad bit of undue pressure behind your corneas for about 3-4 days, but soon will be distracted by other slightly more serious problems for this to become too great a source of gnawing stress.

good luck.

Answer 6

Have u thought of adopting a child from one of those poor countries & getting them 2 lick your a*se clean.
This works 4 rich people so I've been told.

Answer 7

The persons call is...SCOTT!!!??/..LOL the first documented use of loo paper become in China interior the sixth Century ad Goggled it of coarse..LOL yet nonetheless have not got here upon a popularity!! yet i believe it become someone ill of utilising leaves!!!...must have grabbed some element Poison!!! Itch Itch Itch!!! OUCHY!!!

Answer 8

How about a bidet?

(EDIT) Drat, the great satan beat me to it.

Answer 9

i think you should get out more honey, in fact , go to a store and buy a bidet'

Answer 10

Do what I do, use a wipe then use a small portion of tissue just to wipe it dry.