Beer is the reason you get up every afternoon.
The only drinking problem you have is the two-hands/one-mouth thing.
Your house is so messy because it spins like a top every time you lie down.
You drink to steady yourself, and sometimes you get so steady you can't move.
You never walk; you just occasionally stagger in a straight line.
You get angry because there's always so much booze left at the end of your money.
You think that drunks are a lot like chess players, only drunk.
You forgot your fishing pole on your fishing trip and didn't notice.
You've been laid out on more floors than Johnson's Wax.
Your liver has hired an attorney.
You wish all the world's parking lots could be somehow turned into lush rain forests, because, you know, it's hard to hide from cops in a parking lot.
Your favorite bar installed a seat belt on your barstool.
The glass isn't half empty or half full. It just needs to be topped off.
You don't fall off the wagon-you leap off it while chugging a bottle of cheap bourbon.
You have two personalities: Mr. Responsibility and Mr. I-Think-I'll-Call-All-My-Old-Girlfriends-While-I'm-Blacked-Out.
The word "rent" loses all meaning after your fifth drink.
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-07-10 14:41:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
From Willys Jokes archieves!
2006-07-10 14:42:16 · update #1
To memescully I was an alky up till 12/7/95 or I am w/e! I believe in laughing at self! If you don't that's cool! Here's a lyric I wrote; "I Don't Drink No More" check it out;
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuZCamSS5C6VzuzCff9HKnjsy6IX?qid=20060706082212AAbfMIg
2006-07-10 14:54:57 · update #2
You wake up next to a cowboy with little feet and discover your panties have been eaten! LOL
2006-07-11 02:03:47 · answer #1 · answered by LUNCHY THE PIRATE 3 · 3⤊ 4⤋
I thought it was funny and I come from a long line of alcoholics. Not sure why people come to the joke section if they have no sense of humor. Oh well.
2006-07-10 14:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by ticklefoot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wake up face down in a Toys R Us parking lot.
You wake up and remember dreaming you ate a large marshmallow, and your pillow is gone.
2006-07-10 14:47:02 · answer #3 · answered by Martin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You walk into a liquor store and they know you by name.
And preference. You also know which store opens early or stays open late, unfortunatley.
2006-07-11 06:45:50 · answer #4 · answered by Sue Chef 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it truly is to you Willy you retard! You responded my question with a dumb reality so right it truly is one for you. by technique of how your quite gruesome. i understand you could no longer help it, yet I figured you need to understand. stay short and be detrimental my chum!
2016-12-01 00:55:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father was an alcoholic, I just don't see the humor.
2006-07-10 14:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by sue-sue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your weekly grocery shopping consists of buying a case of Guinness's
2006-07-10 14:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by The ones you fear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You come home with a girlfriend and when your wife opens the door, you wink at her and whisper "Shhhh, pretend you're my sister". :D
2006-07-10 14:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by Lucretia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married it, divoriced it, I'm better now. But it's still funnier than #%!!, and he's still drunk!
2006-07-10 17:56:55 · answer #9 · answered by Helzabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i know my exhusband would finally find this site. hi shane, how things are well with you.
2006-07-10 14:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by greeneyedcat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋