Can you tell me what you think about this song I just wrote?(I am only 13 so take it easy)?

Question

Spoken Segment: This song really makes me believe in patience. Our heavenly father has so much love for us he is willing to teach us everything and everything includes patience. And besides patience he testing our faith. So we need to get tough and hold on through everything. Psalms 30 verse 11 and 12 says “ You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever” This tells us that eventually if we hold on that God will surely turn our sorrow to joy. I am a living witness!!! Praise be to God

HOLD ON

Hold on, hold on through your trials and your worries
Don’t let no one put you down you see
I see right through your eyes
And I can see all your cries you’ve shed
But you there’s a light ahead
So don’t dread no more start looking ahead,
Ahead to that day you when all you can feel is joy,

Chorus
Hold on ( Repeat 3 times)
‘Cause I can see a light
That radiates through you
And I know that soon
All things will be made new
SO Hold on, hold on through your trials and your worries (Repeat 2 times)
Hold on ooooooooo

Can you see through this day
And believe that tomorrow you’ll be so glad and gay
Always believe that your sorrow will become joy
So dreams always, believe always and rejoice always,
Today it may seem rough so get tough AND

Chorus
Hold on ( Repeat 3 times)
‘Cause I can see a light
That radiates through you
And I know that soon
All things will be made new
SO Hold on, hold on through your trials and your worries (Repeat 2 times)
Hold on ooooooooo

Answer 1

god is using you to his glory allow him to do so. The lyrics are inspirational but avoid using gay. I am too a songwriter though i am 16,it dont matter about the age what matters is whats in your heart. u are a natural,continue writing and when your cd comes out i would love to get a autographed cd.

may god bless you.

love you lots

Psalms91

Answer 2

I think that it is very well written and over all is something that you may want to consider committing to an audio recording of sorts some time. While as I am an agnostic, I always think that anything that promotes self worth and light in the face of adversity is a good thing. However, if I may make a small suggestion. If you could change the last word of line 20 from gay to happy or something that works just as well? It's just that when the word gay is used for it's original meaning it's usually going to be the focus of most people's attention. It may be a juvenile response, but it is just the way many younger people act. Good song though, keep up the good work.

Answer 3

I am so impressed that you can 'sing a new song to the Lord' well done!
From a litery critic point of view you use the word 'see' too many times in the first verse and I agree about the use of the word 'gay'........ it has connotations these days other than happy which is what I think you mean to say.

Answer 4

It's really GOOD! Ithink every song should have a message in it and this one really speaks to me.
In your words"hold on through your trials and your worries"
dont let anyone bring you down, and keep singing your praise to the lord. Keep the faith and I know you'll get somewhere someday!

Answer 5

This reads like it would make a beautiful song. The only thing I caution you about is using the adjective "gay" in meaning happy/glad, especially in a religious song. That word was okay back in the times to be used in this manner, but nowadays it is much more likely to be misconstrued.

Other than that, excellent job.

Answer 6

Another fantastic song from Lady T. You're on a roll! Just hope I'm around long enough to hear your lyrics put to music.

Re using 'gay' - go ahead and leave it in there, it's a happy word, it's wonderful to see a 13 y/o understanding the true meaning and not afraid to use it

ps don't forget to get this one copywrited too
pps - to piggy dude - it isn't the same one. Check Lady T's posts, duh

Answer 7

That's very good. But is this a fast song or a slow song? I can imagine a fast chorus but neither for the verses. Also if it is fast, you can try adding a vamp that says Hold on, hold on, its gonna be alright.

Answer 8

For a 13 year old, I think this song is spectacular and a testament to the wonderful people who raised you. Keep writing, it is going to bring some wonderful things your way. Hold on!!!!

Answer 9

hiya, I think the lyrics are beautiful, full of hope and we all need hope so yes i like the lyrics very much..would be nice to hear the melody behind it.. :-) you certainly have a talent there young lady so keep up the good work and keep on writing those songs :-) I have just shown them to my 14 year old daughter and she to likes the song very much so even someone in your age group has told you :-)

Answer 10

The fact that you are 13, obviously religious, and are capable of writing a coherent sentence nonetheless, is already a good sign of your future success. Good luck!

Answer 11

words seem OK but expect people to make fun of the gay part. you might want to think of changing that. but it's really all in the music. your hear most of the music today. the lyrics are garbage but people still like it cause it has a nice tune.