I'm in love with my X-boyfriend. I broke up with him because he is unable to commit to marriage right now and didn't seem to be able to consider it at all in the future either.... thing is, I now realize that i don't care about marriage as much as just getting to be around him. I've realized after the break-up that I love him so much, that if he can't promiss a future, I still want whatever time I can have with him..... Now, he doesn't want to get back together, even though he says he loves me, he thinks I should look for someone else who is capable of a commitment since he is not ready...... So, do I wait around, hoping he'll take me back? Or, am I an idiot in love for thinking he wants me at all? I really don't want to be with anyone else -- and I'm experienced enough to know that I can easily find other men to marry me, but I want him... even if I can't have him in marriage.
2006-07-10 13:55:48 · 14 answers · asked by lovesick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He told you straight out that you can't count on him for a committed relationship. I think that tells you right there. Go date other guys, I think that you will be suprised how many great guys are out there. Now tell ur ex that if he is interested in having a relationship with you in the future, that you are open to that and to give you a call. That way you leave the door open for if he ever decides that without shutting the door on the rest of the world. I totally know where you're coming from. Give him a kiss, wish him good luck on his future endeavors and tell him ur there if he chnages his mind. You'll show confidence, patience and being open to more posibilities, Which will make you seem wise and attractive. Realize that he may not grab you that instant, or at all. But being needy, clingy, or like an old maid will definatly not draw his attention ever. Good Luck Sweetie. Just remember to breathe and take care of you- that's your only job in this life.
2006-07-10 14:06:34 · answer #1 · answered by Passionately Vulnerable 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me like you shouldn't sit around waiting for him beacause that is not fair to you. Maybe a part of your heart can still hope for him, but letting life fly by will not help either you or him.
Also, you have to remind yourself of the reason you broke up with him. If you two were/are in love, and you broke up because of the committment issue, it is an important issue. Maybe it's easy to think that you can put it aside now that you aren't together, but odds are that if you get back together, it still will remain an important issue.
My advice: get out there and have some fun as a single, independent woman. Don't wait around for him, but allow yourself to stay open to the possibility of him, while also keeping an open mind to meeting new people. You never know what can happen.
2006-07-10 14:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by annabanana4883 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its true love then you would wait for as long as you have to. Marriage is great, but it is one of the biggest decisions of a lifetime and sometimes making a commitment like that will take years to decide. If you stay understanding of that and just focus on the present a bit more, I think it will make for a good future with you two. Good luck.
2006-07-10 14:03:56 · answer #3 · answered by big_j_gizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the reason he is not being with you agian is cause he dont want to hurt you, he knows there will come a time when he cant stand having you around and not being with you the way you want him to. he wants to make you happy but cant do it cause he is not ready. you need to respect that and move on. it is not easy, i did the same thing just like you i was in love and he kept letting me go and taking me back cause he wanted me to be happy and he new i was happy with him, but he was not ready for marriage and i was, so finaly he said something to hurt me so that i would never talk to him again so that i could move on with my life. and i moved on with my life i thought till i found out i was not happy with anyone because i was not with him even though i was mad at him. i loved him for 8 years and to this day he will always have a spot in my heart, he was the first love of my life. but what made me be able to leave him is meeting the guy i am now married to, he showed me that someone else could love me the way i needed to be loved that that other guy was not the only one who could steal my heart away and the guy i am married to now has completed me, made me whole.
2006-07-10 14:09:16 · answer #4 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want you then he doesn't really love you. He is trying to let you down easy. As much as it hurts it is time to move on. Move on now don't sit around waiting for the day when he might possibly, maybe, change his mind (it will never come). As difficult as this might seem in the long run it will be better when you find someone who loves you and wants to be with you.
2006-07-10 14:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by corintianga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you messed up but at least you realize it! Tell him you know you made a big mistake and you're really sorry for trying to pressure him into something like marriage, and that it was wrong to do so. And please do NOT play games! That is the worst thing people do. Just talk to him. Open communication is key! Good luck!
2006-07-10 14:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by Jon J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him you wouldn't have to be pondering if he is worth waiting for, you would just wait. So many like you and me don't realize what we have until we've lost it, and then we want it back, if you have a chance to get you love back take him and wait for him he will come around eventually.
2006-07-10 13:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. No 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what advice you get on this question only YOU can truly answer that. On here it is so easy to shell out advice, without thinking truly of the situation. Only you have to live with it. Good luck.
2006-07-10 13:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by hateizmybestfriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt break up with someone because there unable to commit to marriage. and yes love is worth waiting for.
IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE SET THEM FREE IF ITS MENT TO BE THEY'LL COME BACK.
2006-07-10 14:02:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey if a man loves you unconditionally he will marry you. dont settle for less because you want him. he will just carry you along and dont appricaite what you can give him. move on and let true love come to you. any man that you step low to can not be the one for you. he will bring you higher remeber that
2006-07-10 14:00:17 · answer #10 · answered by lovelaungauge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋