How do I get my 17 year old to get a job?

Question

My daughter has now graduated, she dragged her feet applying to colleges and now can't get into the college she chose until spring. So far she has sat in her room, gone out with friends and talked on the phone all day long. I was paying her phone bill but recently cancelled it. She just will not make any effort not just with looking for a job but helping around the house etc. She is bone idle and apart from throwing her out I have no clues on how to get her going. Her Dad gave her a couple of thousand dollars which she has been using but now only has $200 left. Any ideas?

Answer 1

Well, she may have graduated, but she obviously isn't mature!
Ever hear of "tough love"? I think its time to cut the strings and teach her some life lessons. Good start with disconnecting the phone. If she isn't going to go to college for sometime, make it mandatory that she gets a job. Set a deadline... say September 1st (when she would normally be starting school). Then start charging her rent. Not a lot, but enough to teach her responsibility. Does she have a car? Who pays for her insurance & gas? Who pays for her food, clothes, going out...? She's expected to make adult decisions now. Of course, let her know you are there for guidance if she needs it... help with a resume or locating an employment agency. Nobody grows up over night. You are only holding her back if you don't teach her independence, and she will be the one who suffers in the long run.

Another great idea is to take the money she pays you for rent & utilities, and put it in a bank account for her. When you feel she is responsible enough you can give it to her for school, a down payment on a vehicle or home or even her wedding... someday. ;)

Answer 2

You need to give her some tough love and just go ahead and tell her that she needs to get a job within 2 weeks and that if she doesn't you'll have no other choice but to put her out and explain that it's for her own good. However, if money isn't a problem, also give her the option of staying at home but volunteering full-time and then she can make a difference in her community and gain meaningful insight into other peoples lives, while getting a feel of the "real" world.

I have very close contacts to a family and the parents have 2 children...grown men in their late 20's and early 30's. Apparently, they weren't taught how to be independent from an early age and their still isnt any reinforcement to get out on their own and be all that they can be. Instead, they stay at home (parents earn a very decent living) and they still don't have a clue about paying bills and living as real men on their own without running to their parents for every little want and need that they can't obtain on their own. Please don't allow your daughter to take the same path because it's very sad and unfortunate. Encourage her to reach for the stars and let her know that you're doing what you have to for her own good and because you love her. Good luck!

Answer 3

Let me tell you this. The reason why your daughter isn't and or don’t want to get a job because she "doesn’t feel like she has to". To be honest, if my parents was giving me money also, I wouldn’t be working. What for? You work to get money but if mom and dad is supplying me with that then there’s no point to a job (in a 17yr olds point of view). She may know that she only has $200 left but feel and probably know that after that money is gone, mom and dad will give her more (no worries in her mind). You have to start laying down the rules, and become stricter. I am 21 yrs old and I have been working since I was 13. I moved out of my parents house when I was 19, bought my own car (by myself) when I was 17. Just recently bought a 2006 brand new car 3 weeks ago all on my own. Plus I am in college. I am not bragging about myself but trying to make a point that don’t fear that she will turn out bad if you lay down the rules or think she will hate you for the rest of her or your life (just maybe right now). Honestly at the end of the day, I owe it all to my mom who taught me right. She taught me that if i wanted it, i will have to work for it. She supplied food, a roof over my head and necessities but all the things a teenager would want, she wasn't able and wasn't willing to spend all that money on those items for me so that pushed me to go and get them myself. When I was younger I thought my mother was sooo mean and much more (haha) but now that I am older I wouldn’t change anything she did because that made me who I am today.

My advice, stop giving your daughter money. Don’t kick her out, but let her know that by the time she turns 18 if she decides to live with you she will have to start paying some rent. (let her know later on that if she does start paying you rent, its not because you want her money but because you want to teach her how to handle bills and bills is apart of life.

Answer 4

Have a "tough love" talk with her. Every (able) body in the household should be working even if it's working at a fast food place or scrubbing floors. You duty as a parent is technically over once she turns 18 (which should be soon). And if she isn't working then she needs to keep the house at least straightened up and throw some laundry in the machines. Tell her welcome to the real world! She can still take online classes or go to community college until the spring. Many parents baby their young adult offspring -- life isn't fair and it surely isn't free. Good luck --

Answer 5

Do the same thing our parents did. I paid room and board at home from the time I had my first paper route at 10 years of age because my mother told me that I had to learn right off the bat that there is no free lunch in this world. I continued paying room and board until I came out of the army. I did stop for a while when I was in the army and my mother rented my room out and when I wanted to come home for some time off, there was nowhere for me to come to. I learned pretty quick and haven't forgot the lesson to this day. I have raised 4 kids and believe me, they also learned the lessons and they are all successful today.

Answer 6

First of all you need her to recognize that YOU are the parent and SHE is the daughter and while you are the one paying the bills she has to abide by your rules, that includes getting a job because she isn't going to be living in your house forever! If she doesn't like it then she can move out in which case she'll definitely have to get a job to support herself. Problem solved! Stand firm! There is no other way!

Answer 7

that $2000 was a nice give me thank you she liked that you will not get anything back. monitor the bare minimun she needs to get by and buy them and when she saids she needs this or that do not give in tell her work for money do jobs at home like helping me out and give her something to do or suggest a task and a price.

if she saids she is going to her friends house to live she can not do that! under 18 ground her to her room for a few hours or untill she wants to help with some of the work
might not pay bills but it may be easy on you and she might learn something too

Answer 8

take her out yourself to look for a job first sit with her and discuss things she is interested in and go by that if she likes shopping have her apply at the stores she likes to shop at or maybe she likes animals have her apply at her local humane society tailor the job to her likes and maybe then she will see she likes to work and gets a paycheck for it good thing with canceling the cell phone make her pay her way if you dont teach her as her mother nobody will this will be the best thing you ever did for her making her responsible

Answer 9

Do nothing. I mean, talk to her, but tell her when her money's gone, tough luck. She's basically an adult so just give her a taste of what it's like to live in reality. Soon, she'll have no choice but to get a job, or else she won't be able to do what she wants. It may sound harsh, but it just might work.

Answer 10

More than likely she will have to wait until teenagers go back to school and college students go bck to college because right now they have most partime jobs filled. So you'll have to put up with her a little longer