Do you know a funny joke that is also short to tell?

Question

International jokes from coutries outside U.S. are DEFINATELY welcome. Also, give me RIDDLES...I want to excercise my brain.

Answer 1

what goes ahhhhhhhh?
a sheep with no lips! silly but still gets a little giggle.

Have you ever noticed that when ur driving, anyone going slower than u is an idiot and anyone faster than u is a maniac?

Have u ever realized how unique women really are? They can release blood for 4-5 days without dying, supply milk 6-12 months without spoiling, and make weenies hard for 20-40 minutes without freezing!!!!! Amazing!

Answer 2

Here the short n easy to tell:


Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation for sex with his wife.

Johnny's father, in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it, bent over as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asked curiously ‘What ya doin dad?’ His father quickly replied,

‘I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.’

To which Little Johnny replied ‘What ya gonna do, screw him?’

Answer 3

Alaskan Kayak Accident


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."

Answer 4

What's the worst three things about being an egg?

You get laid once
You get smashed once
and the only woman who'll sit on your face is your mother.

Answer 5

what did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? sorry it took so long for me to get hard,but i just got laid last night.

Answer 6

How can you tell that a Russian woman is on her period???













wait for it...






She's only wearing one sock.

Answer 7

my life is a riddle it never ends and is always a tongue twister

Answer 8

YES^^^ i love this guys egg joke

Answer 9

if you are american when you go into the restroom...and american when you come out of the restroom...what are you when you are in the restroom....
european. ha.