Should I have another kid?

Question

I'm 24 and i have a 3 year old. I had a million and one complications during my first pregnancy as well as my labor (and ended up with a c-section anyways). I'm kinda scared of having another one since I really got sick the first time around but i don't want to leave my daughter lonely. Any suggestions??

Answer 1

Ok, first of all, talk with your doctor, they will know if it will physically be ok for you to have another baby. I will tell you this, my first baby, I was sick all the time, severely, I had a really rough pregnancy, I had my baby natural, no pain relief, was in labor for twenty and a half hours, two hours to deliver, almost an emergency c-section, plus I retained the placenta for another two hours, had to have a specialist called in to remove it after being stitched up. The good news......6 yrs later, I had baby number two no problems or complications, 6 hr labor, 20 min delivery, easy as pie....then a year ago, baby number three...same thing, but a litlle longer labor....everything else just fine. So my point is this, each pregnancy is different, usually the first is the worst, however, I highly reccomend that you discuss this with your doctor, because you really do not want to jepordize you or the baby's health or life. If your doctor says it's ok, then go for it, do not be afraid. If your doctor does not reccomend you have anymore, then adopt. Good luck.

Answer 2

I know exactly where you are coming from. I have 3 children and my pregnancies have been so hard on me everytime. I have morning sickness from about 6wks to right before delivery. I have had many other complications too and my second was an emergency c-sec after all of labor. I feel for ya! I just never felt in my heart that I was done having children though. I always felt like my children were worth what I have gone through. You need to sit down and evaluate things. Do you feel you want another child? Do you feel you are ready for another child? Does your partner want another child, and will you have help if you are sick again?

Don't feel bad if you decide not to have a sibling for your child. I'm sure that your child will be happy to just have you and have you healthy and to be able to have stuff and not share..hehe.

Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 3

I would ask the doctor then if he said its ok then if ur ready go for it children r great to have and ask ur daughter and see what she thinks about and brother or sister include her in on it im sure she will love it thats the way she dont feel left out or lonely i had preaclamciya w/my lil boy and the docter said it will be ok to have another child and a million and one complications too and i didnt find out i was pregnant til i was 6 months along and had him a month later at 7 months so i ended up w/ a c-section too but i would talk to the daughter and the doctor too just dont forget to include ur daughter

Answer 4

I'm in the same boat that you are in. My son is now 3 years old and keeps asking for a brother. Perhaps you should talk to your doctor and get some suggestions from a professional. Every pregnancy is different and you might not be as sick the second time around. Remember, pregnancy is only temporary for a lifetime of joy. and of course sibling rivalry.

Answer 5

If the only reason you want to have another child is to have a live in playmate for your daughter, than personally, I would recommend against it. You have to weight all of your options. You need to make sure that you have the financial stability for another baby as well as the emotional support from your spouse/significant other.

If you decide that you want another child, then consult your doctor first to see if there is anything you can do to be preemptive in your pregnancy troubles. C-sections are fairly routine (I had one with my son because he was being strangulated by his umbilical cord) and today I have a healthy 8 year old boy. :)

Answer 6

My only advice (mother of 3 here) would be to talk this over with your OB. If they give you the OK, then I think it is a great idea to have another child. But if it will be too much stress on your body, having an only child is not so bad. My brother in law has one child and they are able to spoil this little girl rotten, not in a bad way, but in a way that they can do anything in the world for her, she can have all their attention too.

Being a parent of 3, I have to split up my time between the kids, alternating my attendance between their soccer games, splitting splurge money up between the three of them, etc.

Whatever you decide, you truly know the right decision for your family. :-)

Answer 7

Usually, I'd say if you have to ask, you shouldn't. Your daughter needs a healthy mommy more than she needs a sibling! Enroll her in pre-school, a children's play group, meet other Moms with children her age. There is nothing that proves that all 'only' children are lonely or unhappy.

You do not mention a father, does he have any input?..if there is a husband or partner he should have a voice in it , too, since odds are he'll be be involved, if only financially. Little girls need their Dads, too, you know.

Answer 8

You're 2nd pregnancy isn't ALWAYS like your 1st. I'd say give it a try. With my first son, I had morning sickness until I was 6mos along and toward the end my back hurt REALLY bad, and the birth went fine. With my 2nd son, I didn't have morning sickness at all and my back didn't hurt a single time. Giving birth to him also went fine. I don't think you really have anything to worry about.

Answer 9

My first pregnancy was complicated and also ended in a c-section. i wanted another one so i had one and it was complicated also. you have to figure out what is best for you. it was worth it to me. talk to your doctor, not all pregnancies are the same each time

Answer 10

i mean, well, its really your choice, and you should talk about it with your significant other. if you really want another child, then yeah. go ahead, ever mother goes through the same pains. its a price to pay for producing a new being to this world. in my opinion, you should have another one so your daughter won't be lonely, then she can learn how to share and have someone there when she's not at school.