I watch a little girl for a friend of mine from 6:30 am to 6:oopm for $25.00 a week.She is 8 yrs old she lives with her dad because the state took her from her mom.She has become very hatefull, very demanding,she tells people we r very mean to her. Her dad asked me to keep her because he knows i'll take care of her and she has lots to do here and he doesn't have to worry about her.i know that he is strugling so its 5 dollars a day just to cover what she eats.I love this child i realy do.Because of how she was treated with her mom he wants to handle any problems that accure.He doesn't even want me to put her in time out because thats his little girl.she told my daughter today "that no one in this house cares about you so shut up"my daughter got very upset and she is 13 after she said it she was walking threw the house laughing.I have never had to deal with anything like this before i think she needs help.How can i help her.
2006-07-10 10:13:18 · 8 answers · asked by julia3535 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Wow, that's hard. I think you need to speak to the dad. The fact that he doesn't want his little girl in a timeout isn't helping her. By the sounds of it, she's probably never had discipline in her life. Kids crave discipline. They like to know how far they can go. So be firm with the Dad and tell him that you love taking care of her, but not at the expense of your own daughter. SO either Dad agrees to discipline, or find someone else to take care of her (hopefully dad'll come around). Good luck.
2006-07-10 13:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by jadevandersee 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are several ways to "punish" her with out trauma. Time out makes a child feel isolated, so if they have a past trauma it can be very detrimental. Take away privileges, such as TV or computer time. Go over the rules of your house with her father and come up with suitable consequences (I hate the word punishments). Explain them to her with her father present and post them where she can see them. Also if she behaves or "helps" give a reward, a gold star sticker or something to monitor progress. So many stars equal an ice cream or coloring book. Also I've found it helpful to have a poster board where she can put happy faces or frowny faces to let you know how's she's feeling; then, you both can talk about it. Last, but not least talk to the father about counseling. If the state removed her from her mother's home they may offer free counseling. If you have any questions feel free to email me.
2006-07-10 17:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by pollywogsmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first, it is nice to see someone who is so willing to help a friend. So kudos there. You need to bring this to her father's attention. She has been thru a lot, that's a given, but there needs to be consequences for her actions. She is a child who needs to learn how to deal with her emotions. Definitely talk to the father. He is not a failure just because his daughter needs help. If he is struggling to make ends meet, there might be a program her can go thru to help her deal with her issues.
Time outs are acceptable way to handle adverse behavior. She should also have been called out on her behavior towards your daughter. I wouldn't have forced an apology because it would have been insincere. You and her father need to create some kind of plan.
2006-07-10 18:28:19 · answer #3 · answered by jetaunbraese 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's been through something traumatic like being taken from her mom (not to mention what occured that caused her to be taken in the first place), she would probably benefit from counseling. You need to at least speak with her father to discuss the problems she's having while she's at your house. Her father might be overwhelmed and doesn't know how to deal with the problems she's having. Hopefully, he'll realize that you care about his daughter and want to help her. I can understand that he wants to handle the problems she has, especially considering how she was treated with her mother, but it's not effective for her to be disciplined hours after something occurs at your house. I can understand that he wouldn't want you to spank her, but you need to try to help him understand that you can't let her get away with anything she wants at your house. Hopefully he'll realize where you're coming from and you'll be able to come to a consensus about how to handle her behavior when you're taking care of her.
2006-07-10 17:26:29 · answer #4 · answered by tn80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may feel threatened and upset because she is having to stay with you all day instead of dad since she was taken from mom. best bet would be to find a quite time and talk with dad about what is going on he may need to sit down and explain in terms that she understand why things are the way they are and let her know that there will be consequences for misbehavior.
2006-07-10 21:45:06 · answer #5 · answered by angelgirl12576 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know her situation but she doesn't need to be insulting your child. That is your daughters house she should not feel uncomfortable in her own house. You should punish her when she is bad. yes she might need counseling. It is probably really hard for her. I would die without my mom.
2006-07-10 17:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you just need to tell her father the stuff she has been doing and tell him there has to be discipline or you can't watch her anymore , simple as that.
2006-07-10 17:21:10 · answer #7 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to bring it to the mother and fathers attention
2006-07-10 17:17:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋