my seven year old daughter neva listens to me..i hav tryed so much but she neva listens?

Question

she is always cryin and moan..kinda like nicki from big brother uk.....nicki just reminds me of my daughter...but she is seven..can anyone give me good advice..how to get her to behave and listen more

when i say she moans and crys all the time..its not cos she is hurting..she does it for no apparant reason..from the moment she wakes..the moment she comes from school..at eating time..bathin time and so on..i have a 12yr old and a 4 yr old..but they are not like that ,, i treat them all the same...HELP...cos i hav a 5month old too

Answer 1

ignore the bad behaviour however hard it is just ignore her, if you dont then what she is learning is that whenever she moans she gets attention wether its good or bad. if you are trying to make her do somthing then ask her nicely if she dosnt then say ok and do it yourself then when she asks you for somthing eg sweets say no because you didnt do .... what ever it was you asked her to do. if she dose what you ask then tell her that she is a good little helper, children like praise even if you do not feel that she should be praised she will feel wanted and inportant and will want to help you more.

dont raise your voice or force her to do some thing make her want to do it,

i know it can be hard but dont belittle her it will only make things worse, and dont call her a winger as she will asociate herself with that place in the family and will carry on doing it.

it will take time and a bit of patience from you,

to make her listen never shout always talk quitely as your daughter will want to know what you have to say, if you raise your voice over hers she will only raise her voice more, if she is talking when you want her to listen stop talking and keep looking at her then when she is quite say what you have to say, if she starts talking again stop and then when she is quite start again,

then explain that when mummy is talking you have to listen, it will be long and dragged out way of doing things but doing it this way will help you stay carm because shouting at her is raising your blood pressure which makes you more angry at her.

KEEP CALM AND BREATH

good luck

Answer 2

I have a three year old that acts the same way...
I have done everything from using a time out chair that he hates and boy he will do anything so he doesn't have to sit in it. It is away from everything fun in the house...
He also gets sent to his room.....
I would suggest taking away things that she likes, talking on the phone, a toy, a chore she has to do, time outs(work until they are teenagers), ease up on all the goodies you may give her.

When you talk to her, you may if you haven't already lower yourself down to her, so that you are her level....when you talk to her.
I don't allow kicking, hitting, punching, screaming....
When all else fails, I have no problem with spanking, but not to the point of bruising...and I only use my hand.

When she is good and behaving you should tell her what a good job she is doing, do positive re-enforcement. A sticker chart and when she fills up a week or a month then she gets a positive thing...something that she likes...

Just a few ideas that may help you in the situation, guaranteed I do not have a girl in the house, I have two boys...but kids will be kids and I would do the same thing if I had a girl....plus if you don't catch it now, you maybe looking at hell when she becomes a teenager.
good luck and god bless all the parents

Answer 3

I know that you have a small baby too, but you really need to make sure that you have time on your own with your daughter.
Mine used to be EXACTLY the same, and I was so frustrated. Totally ignore the whinging and whining and when she is good, praise, praise, praise.
Let her help with the baby, let her know that she is a valued member of the family.
The thing that gave me and Rachael time together, was preparing our evening meals together.
Also, make sure that she is getting enough sleep.
If you want her to listen to you, then talk to her making eye contact and slightly lower your voice, be nice, you have to think about where it is that she has learnt to whinge and whine!

Remember that Rome wasn't built in a day, but in a few weeks, if you can keep it up, you WILL see a difference. Once you start, never stop. This will only cause things to return to how they are at the moment.

Good luck mate.

Answer 4

I have the same problem with my 6 year old. Now my 2 year old is also starting to do the same things as her. I don't have any idea on what to do. I am ready to pull my hair out. And it's getting to the point to where I just want to throw the 6 year old up against a wall. Asking myself "Why did I have kids?" I can't handle the constant yelling at her all day. My nerves are about shot.

About all you can do is talk to a friend and let it all out. I lock myself in my room one night a week and cry. I also do all of my bi*ching in the shower to myself. Try that once! You will feel better.

Answer 5

can she hear you ? Have you had her hearing checked ?.Does she have learning difficulties ?Is she ill ?have you taken her to the doctor? Is she crying for a reason ? Is she sad or unhappy about something?
do you sit down with her and give her face to face undivided attention sometimes ? Do you ask her what she wants ?
When kids get to 7 ,they change -they are more influenced by friends than family and that is when conflict starts.could she be finding friendships difficult? girls can be very mean to each other ..
Do you have support with raising her ? Does she have activities to do ?Is she bored ?
Have you asked her school teacher if she is happy at school ?
is it all the time or monthly ?
some girls are starting their periods at 9 and they can have pre-mestrual mood swings 2 years before that ..
if she cant tell you ask her to write her feelings down or draw a picture or paint one .... it may give you some insight into her feelings and why she is so unhappy..
It sounds that she is stressed for some reason but if you cant get to the bottom of it you will have to seek professional help.
It gets a lot worse when they are teenagers so try to improve communication now while you can..
In my experience kids are really unhappy when something is troubling them within the family OR its school worries ..
Take care

A good book to read is "The secret of happy children "by steve biddulph.

Answer 6

She probably need some discipline............I don't mean smacking or hitting, but firm, fair treatment.....Use a corner of a room, or the foot of your stairs and use them as a 'naughty corner/stair' & if she is naughty then put her in this place for as many minutes as she is old.....ie, she is 7, so make her stay there for 7 minutes. She may not listen at first, but persivere, and every time she moves away from there, put her back....she will eventually learn to hate this treatment and will start to behave rather than being put there. As I say persivere, you must be strong. Also tell her WHY you are puttinig her there, and she will eventually understand - good luck!

Answer 7

Maybe you have a communication problem. But I think you first need to take her to the doctor for a hearing test. Then an eye test.

She may have a hearing medical problem. Now short of that. Maybe you should find out why she is moaning and crying. Maybe she is really hurting.

Maybe you should tell her what to do in a more positive manner.

Answer 8

There are several resources that help in parenting.

A great book and program is Systematic Training for Effective Parenting. It helps us to understand the goals of misbehaviour, and to address the needs of the child.

Another great resource is 1-2-3 magic which is a great method if used cosistently.

Answer 9

properly, you do not point out how long you have been a single mom, and in spite of if there is visitation with the daddy. you do not easily say what you mean by ability of "not listening". i'm a single mom of two boys whose father completely skipped over them, no visitation in any respect. that's actual i've got not got very lots journey with elevating females, merely boys. yet you ought to discover out why she won't concepts you. possibly she feels the only interest she gets from you is damaging interest, and a minimum of it fairly is interest, actual? possibly you ought to attempt to set aside a while along with her to study to her, or have a a million/2 hour a week craft adventure along with her. Even going out for a walk as a kin, you will be able to desire to narrate better along with her in the time of the walk, "oh seem! See the bluebird over there?" Or, "what do you think of that cloud looks like?" If all you supply her is damaging, that's what she is going to furnish back to you. seize her doing some thing actual, then compliment compliment compliment!

Answer 10

The most important thing you need to know is that it is perfectly acceptable to ask for help. I'm not sure that you'll get the right answers here but your GP should listen to you because there can be valid medical reasons for challenging behaviour and you need to ensure you also get the correct support. Good Luck and be strong.

Answer 11

Try to look through her eyes shes not responsible and adult like your 12yr
and Shes not cute or the baby like the other two
so it may be a lack of identity.
Look in middle child syndrom and try to avoid the carrot and stick form of disaplin (reward&punishment)
Help her find her own hobbies, interests and responsiblitys.