What is wrong with my fiancee?

Question

We have been together 2 years, I treat her like a princess. Do all I can for her, am romantic with her, tell her how much I love her. I just bought us a house she wanted and moved to where she wanted to live, I have moved in a month ago but she hasnt and said she wants some space. We have just came back from vegas which was great and got on well. What is wrong with her, she says I am great and its not me its her. What can I do to help her through this?

I am 33 and she is 31.
She would have stayed at my last house quite alot.
I dont know I try to talk to her but she is the sort of person that just hides under her covers instead of talking about things.

Answer 1

Exactly that is wrong with her... you have treated her so good, that she is getting bored...
Women need to be bad treated, to gain interest, same happens to me 5 years married.... And she got used to good care... As soon as I changed my attitude, she starts getting interested again and it is shame ´cause I used to love the romantic way...
But they simply do not like it...
I know you do not like it as well, but that is my experience...

Answer 2

She's crazy!!! Plus she will never find anyone else as great as you! I can promise her that but if she has cold feet sounds like she's waiting to check someone else out! Try tough love! Give her some space alright, it will be hard but if you want to find out whats going on with her you will have to do this!!!For one week Start right now, don't call her for anything! Not a date, or where is the bill, or have you seen my watch, I mean anything!!!! NO EXCUSES!!! I give it two days for her to start wondering why you haven't called her and of course she will be wondering if you are seeing someone else! I guarantee it! When she calls you and she will she will say what have you been doing you haven't called me? Start off by Oh, Hi I'm sorry I've been busy, met some new friends and we've been water skiing or what ever you get the idea, when she hears that she will ask you who, just say Oh just someone I met at lunch last week, of course then she will ask you WHO???? Just tell her What is the matter Honey? Her guilt will show if she ask if it was a woman! Don't answer just give her a moment to boil and ask her what she wanted in the first place when she called you, she will make something up! Then pretend you have to leave right now that you are late and end it with Oh just call me if you've decided to move in or not! Gotta go and hangup! Trust me she will be calling right back or even better she will show up at your home ready to make a commitment! Don't waste anymore time because I've been there don't that! That's how good guys are treated so badly! Remember one monkey don't stop no show and two can play this game! If she commits then have a serious talk!!! If not there's more fish in the sea and honey you sound like a Pearl!

Answer 3

First thing, slow down. It sounds like you've done a lot for her and perhaps she is feeling overwhelmed. Two years is a good amount of time, but still relatively quick for an engagement and a new house. There can be MANY reasons for her hesitation and although we can sit here and speculate on what it could be, the answer lies within her. The best way to help her through this is to give her some space. Don't smother her and pester her with questions. This will be hard, but at least you won't put her off. Just tell her that you love her and that you would like to work things out, but that you respect her and her space. Let her know that you are there for her and that you would like to talk about your relationship and her feelings when she is ready. Try to set a time line so that you're not left in the dark for several weeks, but don't push her either. Just listen to what she has to say and just respect her wishes.

I hope all goes well for you.

Answer 4

Not to be a pessimist for you here, but it really sounds like you're in danger of losing her. She probably has met someone else that she might like more than you, and so she's keeping you at bay while she tests the other fellow(s) out. She's worried that you might not be the best person for her, so she's avoiding committing to you for the time being. If you love her enough to wait while she dates other people to make sure you're the best, then be patient and wait. If her dating other people is a problem for you, break off the engagement.

She is most likely dating other people, though (or at least wants to). And the reason is that she wants to be sure that you're the best for her before she commits. Right now, for some reason, she's not sure. And she probably won't be until she lets some other men into her life for purposes of comparison.

If I were you, I wouldn't try to "help her through this." You need to help your own self through this and decide how YOU feel about the situation, then take appropriate action (or lack of action). If you constantly ask what you can do for her, she'll probably feel "suffocated" by you. You worry about you. If she's been with you for two years, she knows you in and out. You've laid yourself on the table. You can't affect her decision right now. Give her whatever space she needs and let her make her decision. And you make sure you're prepared for her decision either way, unless you decide to leave the relationship yourself.

Good luck.

Answer 5

If I were a woman I would move in with you.LOL. Look you sound like a good man, unfortunatley we are a dying breed. I have been in similiar situations and always thought I was doing somthing wrong. The only thing I can tell you is since you have given her everything she wants, she might be afraid of getting what she says she wants, but doesnt really. You need to do some real soul searching to see if she is right for you not the other way around. I know it is hard to think of, but maybe she is not the soul mate you think she is. Anyone man or woman who says they are in love(and if that is true) there should be NO hesitations to be with each other. Things are not always as they seem and that is a part of life, so before you hand the world on a silver platter to her, make sure she is really, really, really the right woman for you. I wish it was easy, you sound like a good man with a good heart, be careful time tells all and there is the right woman out there for everyone, I know I found mine(after my 3rd) "she is the one" , this one stuck it out with me during some really bad times and made it easier. I hope it works out the same for you, man. good luck-R

Answer 6

Since you are engaged, she owes you more of an explanation than this. Does she believe people should wait to live together until marriage? Is the engagement still on? Is she having hesitations about commitment and believes moving in is a serious step? If she can't give you a detailed answer better than "it's not you," or "I need some space," then something is wrong. Tell her whatever is REALLY wrong, you want to help fix it and you are willing to do whatever you can.

Were you guys living together before you bought the house?

Answer 7

If you are too nice, and paying her too much attention, then she can get tired of it. If she wants some space, then go out with your other friends and have a good time and see what happens.

People tend to appreciate you more if they know that you can live without them if you wanted to (independence & self- confidence creates a little mystery & intrigue; neediness & clinginess makes a person feel pressured & repulsed).

Since you have been dating for years, at some point (maybe a week or two later) I would calmly, but firmly, demand an explanation or else, since you deserve one after all this time. Besides, if you do not respect yourself, don't expect her to respect you, either.

Answer 8

Dear Mr Nice Guy.....Nice ain't cutting it! Give her the "space" she has asked for. And by the way,... what is this "space thing"? I don't get the concept of this!!! Anyway...next, you leave her alone, with her space, but you continue right on living your life and going on trips and fixing up this new home. When she sees she is now on the outside, looking in, because she wanted it this way, she is going to get a "wake up" call. Its apparent your a very generous person. And probably a lot of fun, and as long as action is happening, so is she. These people need to learn to appreciate everything, and not just the material things. There are 100's of woman in this world that would appreciate everything you have to offer her. Unfortunately, we never fall in love with one of them. Understand!

Answer 9

Women love attention but sometimes would like to have a bit more of a challenge from their Prince Charming. Just like us men... we like to breathe and see whose attention we have caught. Give her the space, she might be suffocating under TOO much attention.... but while she has it ... go out and meet more people... go out with women (of course on a friends basis). Show her that you also have a world apart from her and that you CAN be exciting for other women and that she should make up her mind fast. Put more mystery in your life. But remember love is the base for a relationship, but without extras.... you won't get any results. On the other hand... if she doesn't respond and leaves you go... then it might not be love at all.

Answer 10

Take the ring back-That'll give her the "space" that she needs. Tell her that when she figures it out, to come look you up. Sounds like you've invested enough of your time, $ and well being into this woman-and you shouldn't have to wait for an explanation. If she had one, she would have given it to you by now if she weren't such a coward. Sounds as if she's trying to spare your feelings. I think you should find someone who is deserving of your kind and generouse nature. Good luck.

Answer 11

GIVE HER SOME SPACE LIKE SHE ASKED FOR! Don't smother her. You sound like you're doing a great job, but did you ever stop to think that it might be something wrong other than with you!? It doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong, so hang in there, let her have her space around the house, and see how it goes! I wish you guys all the luck in the world!