My daughter-in-law has ask me to talk to him. He has a drinking problem and she doesn't know what to do, she feels it is starting to affect their 21 month old daughter. I only want what is best for all of them, we are all very close and I am glad that she feels she can talk to me.
Please only serious answers.
2006-07-10 09:41:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks for the supportive answers, I feel better already about it.
2006-07-10 09:57:07 · update #1
Wow....that's great that she feels so comfortable with you...it's important to have a tight knit family, so little people do these days.
I would either sit your son down by himself or even with his wife and you....talk as a group and try to show all of your concern for him and how his behavior may be affecting your grand-daughter.
Make sure that he knows that your not mad at him, you just want him to get help so that he can live a good life with his family.
He obviously WILL need outside help..that's probably the only way he will stay on track and not continue to turn to alcohol.
The important thing is that you do all you can do help him, it would be horrible to see him wreck his life and possibly lose his family because of a drinking problem.
Good Luck to you...I'm crossing my fingers.
2006-07-10 09:50:34 · answer #1 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can talk to him but if he is not ready to admit that he has a drinking problem, you will only make matters worse. But go ahead and give it try. If it doesn't work, keep supporting you daughter-in-law. I was in a very similar situation except I was the wife of an alcoholic and he til this day will not admit that he has a drinking problem.....so we are now divorce. Good luck.
2006-07-10 09:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter's father has a drinking problem... so I can understand your situation. When I have tried to discuss it it seemed like I was accusing him. As his Mom, maybe it will seem less like that. You could try an intervention, where many people he knows that love and trust him come and talk to him about the same time, like a meeting. You could get help for yourself and the rest of the family in a support group for those with addictions, such as drinking. A lot of mental health organizations have resources like this. Check with your local hospital or mental health facility. Sometimes the person who needs the help refuses to get it and unfortunately the responsibility rests on the rest of the family to get help they need to cope with the person with the alcohol abuse problem. I hope all goes well for you and your family!
2006-07-10 09:51:25 · answer #3 · answered by trollunderthestairs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before your son takes the fall, hits rock bottom, it is much needed for you to talk with him. Do so in a manner that Moms do. and you will be fine. Discuss him joining AA and attending their meetings. Suggest you or his wife will accompany him there should he prefer that. Assure him you are all there for him but he must do the rightful thing and get help. Remind him he is good but even with good there are chances you can lose things in life that are meaningful to you. Remind him of the support team that is behind him, they will remain to help in any and every means possible. To do this he must make a commitment first to himself and to his family. He must follow though with AA and no more alcohol in the home,
or in his life any longer. Call AA in your area after speaking with your son. Have a formal meeting at your home with the counselor, son, all family members and support team present. This will be the most important meeting in all of your lives. When God closes one door, he opens another one. Pray for your son as well. God will hear and he will answer..
2006-07-10 10:04:06 · answer #4 · answered by Lore 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say by all means talk to him. It may not have any effect, but at least you have done what she requested. Then, I suggest the both of you go to an Al-Anon meeting (for family member affected by alcoholism). Most of them offer babysitting, too. I think Al Anon (which is free) is a good first step.
Sometimes people are successful with interventions. I know several counseling services in my city that specialize in this.
He can change when he wants to, but in the meantime you and she can take steps to help yourself.
2006-07-10 09:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by tampamar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your son someplace private and have a honest chat with him....Offer him help with his problem. Dont degrade him for what he is doing but explain how its hurting his small child and wife. Show him plenty of love and He may see the light. Find a AA meeting place close to your home and see if he will attend some meetings maybe you and his wife could go with him for moral support
2006-07-10 09:46:24 · answer #6 · answered by Texas_at_its_best 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking to him about his excessive drinking isn't only for the marriage, its for him too. I dont think it would be interfering if you talked to him. Not sure if you should tell him she asked you to though. That might upset him a great deal that she went behind his back to you. I would say definitely talk to him but as a concerned mother, not a go between.
2006-07-10 09:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as his mother you have every right to talk to him about excessive drinking. Of course he will probably give you the "I am an adult and I can do what I want" speech. I do not think you should tell him that his wife asked you to talk to him. I think that could cause undue stress in their marriage. Just talk to him from the standpoint that you are his mom and concerned about him and his family.
2006-07-10 09:50:12 · answer #8 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were to talk to him on behalf of his wife he may well take that as interfering.
But .. Mum knows best
Be a mum, talk to him about your concerns and how you are worried. Knowing that his wife is on side can only help but not if he feels ganged up on.
Just be MUM :)
Good Luck
2006-07-10 09:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to a counselor about doing an intervention.
2006-07-10 09:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by starla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋