Me & my bf broke up last Monday. It has been a week now & I "was" doing fine. I felt empowered & was happy that I finally stood up for myself. Now, I am going through strange emotions. I know that you go through many phases such as denial, depression, anger etc etc. However, I am going through this many emotions in ONE day. We were together for 4 long years and we were very close. When I first wake up , he is the first thing on my mind. After I have been awake for a while, I will begin to get very angry and feel almost VIOLENT. The anger is so intense that I get tunnel vision and can't even rationalize with my own self. I went out looking for him today to see if I ran upon him in the city anywhere. I don't know what I was going to do. I even thought one time. What AM I DOIN? and I cant stop myself. Nothing matters right then. Then I will fall into a depression and feel so sad and miss him. Then the cycle starts over. He didn't treat me right. He was sort of mentally abusive. Help!!
2006-07-10 09:38:49 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Unfortunately, it takes two problems to tango in an abusive relationship. Usually the partner of an abuser is called "co-dependent." This is a person that hangs on to a relationship beyond the point of being healthy. One feeling you should be having is that you should have broke things off a LOT earlier and maybe asking yourself why you allowed the relationship to continue as long as it did.
As you continue to think about how this relationship happened, you might want to seek some counseling. Yes, you might be thinking that HE is the one that ought to seek counseling, but you're responsible for YOUR behavior, not his. Maybe you thought you had rational reasons for staying, but if you explore this with a neutral party, you might find that you need to change some of your relationship tactics so that this sort of relationship doesn't happen again in your life.
I urge you to seek the counseling NOW because you sound like you are either experiencing or about to experience a nervous breakdown or psychotic break. Neither one is good for you. You probably need to vent in a safe environment and even this place is not the best.
An important goal: Make sure you learn to identify the patterns of abuse accurately. I wandered around spotting false abuse identifiers for a long time and was single for a long time for that reason. Make sure you learn something objective like that from a counselor, otherwise you might worry like I did that it's just quackery.
Best wishes!
2006-07-11 10:07:25 · answer #1 · answered by Cheshire Cat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when your in a relationship for that long you seek the comfort of what you had then as the day goes by then anger starts you have to find some kind of comfort zone if the time is 10 am when you start then go to the gym work out your frustrations Even perfections help. Find something that would help you. When AM really pissed I go to the gym hit the gab, and exercise tell myself that he's not worth it I am better and I can do better. Thank God your save, alive, healthy.
2006-07-10 17:44:42 · answer #2 · answered by kayla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your emotions were all crashing down on you, and well it is considered to be a sign of lonelyness. The phase in break up 101 that have you more confused then the others. Make you question everything, angry that it happen to you upset that he is not there. What i believe it happening is that you havent accepted that he is gone. Even though you finally let go, you finally had enough, your mind actually adjusted to his behavior. you miss him cause even though you put you down he actually wasnt a totally bad guy. just misunderstood about you. Your adventure, whether your search for him wasnt closure. everything else besides the abuse...you wanted back and you probably wouldnt mind settling for the abuse or compromising just to have him back all it is is you are alone you wake up his face is not wat you see anymore. I suggest expose yourself to other options. after work find places to go events that happen in your town attend them mingle with others to take you mind of the sweet things he use to do or say to you. Focus on things that make yo happy and im pretty sure you will fall upon a new face you would enjoy the mornings with one day soon
2006-07-10 16:54:35 · answer #3 · answered by S.O.L.O. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his abuse had a cycle also....and you lived in that cycle with him for many yrs....it is going to take time to feel better....find a constructive way to get rid your anger, take up running or something that needs your all.....treat yourself to something real nice fairly often and find new friends or look up old ones.....I know how it hurts but don't go back you are worth more then he deserves....and know that he is going through the same feelings and that he will do the same to the next girl he hooks....take care and good luck
2006-07-10 16:56:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to realize is that you should NEVER sacrifice yourself for another. You are the most important person in the world. NOT HIM.
Secondly, find something to do that never concerned him. If you find yourself wandering back to his memories, take it back and do something for yourself.
Take care and never forget that YOU are the reason the world exists. No one else.
2006-07-10 16:41:51 · answer #5 · answered by Collin R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have someone to talk to? if not, find someone. most employers have a program to assist their employees with mental health issues. venting your emotions in a safe place is best. and remember, when all is said and done, it's his loss.
2006-07-10 16:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by vam_pire_lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my answer isn't going to help you... so I will just keep it to myself...
2006-07-10 16:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by need to know basis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋