We have a relationship about 1 year. I knew it from the begining that he is married, but I also knew that his relation is not going well. I know him from 15-17 years, since I was a child, he is 15 years bigger than me; but he is the true love, we live in different countries...even we are having the same nationality. I don't know what should I do, I'm feeling guilty, but in the same time I hope he will finaly divorce. There are a lot of problems, it would takes me houndred of papers to tell you the whole story. I'm prepared to face the problems...but the future is so uncertain. I have a lot of pretenders, but I have eyes only for him....I'm disperated!!
2006-07-10 09:29:21 · 23 answers · asked by diana d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm sorry, I know you love him. But you will need to let this go. He is not doing the right this for you or his wife. He might also have other girlfriends right now you do not know about.
This makes him a bad man. You deserve better.
Even if you got your wish, it would be by taking someone else’s husband; this would make you a bad woman. Have you thought about that?
How would your family feel about that? How would you explain to your children? Would your family act different towards your children?
What if he cheated on you, like his first wife? Your family and friends would say you should have known better. Other people would say you deserved it for stealing a husband in the first place.
There are more things in a marriage than just the feelings between the man and the women. You must consider the consequences of what you want deeply.
Honestly, you must also consider the likelihood of what you want also. It is the most common thing for cheating men to "say" their marriage is "not well". This is to gain sympathy from a female friend to get their special attention, then to turn it into an inappropriate relationship. His marriage might make him very happy, he is just greedy.
A man of honor who is in an unhappy marriage will first try to work things out with his wife. If we were in that position that is what we would want. That is only fair. Then if things could not be repaired and things were so bad they could not be lived with, only then should there be a divorce. Once a divorce is final, they move into separate homes. After a minimum of 6 months he could start dating, after another 6 months he could get engaged.
If a man does less than that he does not respect his current wife and he would not respect you.
That is the message he is giving you. He is flattered by your attention. He thinks it is sexy. But you are no wife to him. He already has one. Why go through the bother of changing.
You will have to do that, let go and find a new love.
I'm sorry, Good Luck
2006-07-10 10:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by Crystal Violet 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Here's the best answer anyone can give...
MOVE ON!!! He is married! Not to you! That is all the answer you need. If it's real, let him go, he will see what he has lost and he will come back to you. If you let him go and he stays gone, well then there you go. Imagine what his wife thinks! He has the best of both worlds right now. Don't ever listen to some poor sob story about how complicated things are. Life is complicated, but people deal with it everyday. The only ones who makes excuses are the ones who are having their cake and eating it too. Wake up and smell the coffee, he is not upset with his wife, just upset that he can't have more than one.
2006-07-10 09:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by Steve & Krista A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
My boyfriend is married, what should I do?
We have a relationship about 1 year. I knew it from the begining that he is married, but I also knew that his relation is not going well. I know him from 15-17 years, since I was a child, he is 15 years bigger than me; but he is the true love, we live in different countries...even we are having the...
2015-08-18 08:08:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it off. He is using you honey. You may be in love with him but he isn't in the same kind of love with you. If he was he would have left his wife. You don't want to be the other woman the rest of your life. I know its hard and not what you want to hear, but from what I see, its the truth. Is he still living with the gal? Was it an arranged marriage? Either way, you can't cling to what you can't have. Move on. There are others out there waiting for you to let go. It's tough but its the right thing to do.
2006-07-10 09:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a penpal! You're in different countries... you cannot have a relationship if you're in different countries!
Leave him alone! He is married! You don't want to be the cause of breaking up a marriage!
We don't need all of the details and the long story. You are causing this man problems in his marriage and you need to stay away from him (quit writing him or contacting him!).
You are not desperate, you are wrong! Wrong to pursue this man. Leave him alone.
2006-07-10 10:24:52 · answer #5 · answered by grahamma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of, even if he marries you how do you know he is not going to do the same to you?, have you met his wife, you are planning to marry him, what if tomorrow some other woman breaks your marriage - there are men in this world who are bachelors and a right one will come along, this is not healthy, it will demoralize you, lower your self esteem and then again ask yourself is he worth all this. What if somone wished doom upon your marriage.
Steer away from this - as this is against humanity; from one person to another - have compassion and do not steal.
2006-07-11 05:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a boyfriend that isn't married. I'm sure things with his current wife aren't going well, or at least that's what he wants you to think. I bet he says they sleep in separate beds, and don't have sex....huh? Yep, heard it all.......he won't ever leave her and even if he does, don't you respect yourself more than to be with a man you know first-hand will cheat????
2006-07-10 10:35:24 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to end it. Relationships that start out in infedelity will often end that way. He has a wife and knowing that, you should respect the vows that he took even if he doesn't. Men often will tell you that they are leaving their wife only to keep you waiting. Dont waste your time. He isnt your true love because he cant be true to anyone, not even himself. You are setting yourself up for disappointment. Break it off and go meet someone unattached. You will be happier knowing you dont have to share someone you care about.
2006-07-10 09:49:04 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll feel a lot better once you tell him it's over. A man can't have two women, and your the second one. Besides even if you were with him there would always be that doubt~ 'If he did it to her he could do it to me.' ~ It's just not right for either of you to be in it, you and him both are doing wrong.
2006-07-10 11:10:58 · answer #9 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a homewrecker. would you want someone to do to you what you have done to his wife? You need to get a clue and realize that he will never leave his wife for you. He's getting what he wants from you and that's it. You're being used. I have some choice words for people like you but I won't use them. Find a man that's single or wait for him to get a divorce. Then seek counseling.
2006-07-10 10:03:08 · answer #10 · answered by Brandie C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋