what's the funniest joke you can think of?

Answer 1

congress
bush
cheney
american cars

Answer 2

The National Poetry Contest. they are down to the last 2 finalists. A Yale Graduate and a Hick from who knows where. The contestants must write a 4 line poem with the word Timbuktu in it. The Yale graduate goes first after 29 seconds he jumps up and says and says his poem. The crowd goes wild how can the hick do any better then that

the hicks sits and thinks for about 5 seconds stands up and says

Me and Tim a huntin we went
met 3 whores in a pop up tent
they was 3 and we was two
i Buck one and Timbuktu

Answer 3

Ita a bit nawty but i couldnt stop laughing when I read it!

Bobby was getting married in a week, and he never had sex with his girlfriend.He did not want to wait until the honeymoon for his new wife to find out that his penis would not get hard.
so he went to the doctor, the doctor said, well there is a new surgery that consist of using the muscle of a baby elephant's trunk.Bobby said,Ill try anything,and so he had the surgery.
One week later bobby was sitting in a resturant with his girfiend.All of a sudden he felt this big bulging pressure in his pants.Out came his penis, rolled across the table and grabed a biscuit and rolled back in his pants.
Bobby's girfried said oh my god!!! can you do that again?
Bobby said yes I could but I dont know if I can fit another biscuit in my butt.

Answer 4

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A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, and asked, “Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?”

The waiter replied, “Yes. We had an efficiency expert here that determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen.”

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, “Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?” The waiter replied, “Yes, we all do. That same efficiency expert determined that we spend 21.4% of our time washing our hands after using the men’s room. The other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to get my tool out of my pants, go, and then return to work.

Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time.”

“Wait a minute,” said the diner, “how do you get your penis back in your pants?” “Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use the spoon.”

Answer 5

A lady abt 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed that z man opposite her was smilin at her. She immediately moved 2 another seat.

This time z smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. Z man
seemed more amused.

When on z fourth move, z man burst out laughing, she complained 2 z driver & he had z man arrested.

Z case came up in court.

Z judge asked z man (about 20 years old) what he had 2 say 4
himself. Z man replied,
"Well ur Honor, it was like this:
When z lady got on z bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins r Comin & I grinned."

"Then she moved & sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce z swelling', & I had 2 smile.

"Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", & I could hardly contain myself."

"BUT, ur Honor, when She moved z fourth time & sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it."

"CASE DISMISSED!!"

Answer 6

A woman goes to her doc, lays down on the table and puts her feet in the stirrups. The doc asks, "Why do you have a tattoo of a turkey on the inside of your right thigh and a tattoo of a Christmas tree on the inside of your left thigh?" The woman replies, "Everyone knows the best eating is between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!"


Best wishes

Answer 7

You are in a fast Italian Sports car in the beautiful Italian country side. You are going about 80-100 MPH. Suddenly there is a sharp turn ahead, you turn. Safely. Which tire is not touching the road?

A: the Spare one!

Answer 8

Two women, one smart and one kind of dumb are walking down the street when they come to a crosswalk and it starts beeping
The dumb woman says "Why is that thing beeping?"
The smart woman answers, "So the blind people will know when it's okay to go"
To which the dumb woman said,"Well what are they doing driving!!"

Answer 9

a joke ok ask your friends or family do they no how to make a purson whate and stay quiet for 1 min and when they ask u how do u u tell them this is how u make some one whate . so there whating for you to say the joke lol

Answer 10

Go back to the history of the Bible, the Torah, and the Koran.
Peace.

Answer 11

not really a joke but a funny queston: Why do men think a stiffy represents personnal growth?