It seems everyone is confusing what I meant. Darn pronouns. I did not mean should I tell my ex. I mean should I tell the new girl of what has just recently happened. Should I tell her right away or wait a while and see what develops?
2006-07-10 08:51:50 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ok, I read your other question and understand the question. The answer really depends on a few items. First of all I really got the impression from your first question that you DO still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend. Your saying that it still hurts shows you still have feelings. Even though you went to your parents and received emotional support from them, and have done some crying, does not mean you have completely settled or resolved your emotions from this last relationship. Also, even though the two of you have basically been "friends" a while, and have not really been intiment sexually, does not mean you have moved on yet emotionally. I strongly suggest you completely recover from this last relationship before entering a new one. It is simple not fair to this new girl if you still have an emotional attachment to your last girl friend. You see, when you still have an emotional attachment you are unable to give all of yourself to anyone new. Yes, you can give a part of yourself, but not all of yourself and that is short changing the new young lady. She deserves to have all of your emotional self pointed her way, and not have a portion of it retained for another. How would you feel if this new girl still had unresolved feelings, emotions for a past boyfriend? Not too good, trust me.
If you were competely recovered from your past emotional situaltion, you would be in the clear in beginning a new relationship. But you are not. Untill you are you need to continue to work out your grief and get to a point where you not longer feel any strong emotions, eihter positive or negitive towards another woman, before moving on to another woman. It is not in your best interest either. It is simply not healthy to use a new relationship to try to "heal" an old one, or to escape an failed relationship. You need time to heal so you have the abililty to really give your all to a new relationship. If you go in crippled this new relaitionship will fail too. By having feelings for the old girlfriend you would be going in crippled. You would also not have the time to learn from the failed relationship and grow properly from the experiance.
I strongly suggest you take the time to fully heal before entering another relationship. It is in your best interests and would not be fair play with a new woman if you did not go in healthy and healed. Good luck with life and I hope you heal soon.
2006-07-10 09:30:35 · answer #1 · answered by Serenity 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are living with your ex your current girl should know that. If you don't tell her it may be a trust issue that couldn't be overcome in a new relationship. You could explain it, just as you did here and see what happens. Then at least the new girl would have a chance to make an informed decision about whether or not to get involved with you.
2006-07-10 15:58:48 · answer #2 · answered by pammy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good one, quite touchy too. If you are dating the new woman in person then yes, you should tell her. Otherwise she should be concerned that you never ask her to come over. Dissolve the old one ASAP and get moving on the new woman, BUT be considerate of the ex's feelings and tell her what's going on. Crossover is always a challenge.
Goog luck!
2006-07-10 16:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by Polly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didn't read the other question but i think you should wait before spilling the beans.
2006-07-10 15:55:28 · answer #4 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋