English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

My little girls daddy got into drugs real bad and had never hit me the whole 2 years we were together. He beat me up once and is now going through rehab. The question is... should I give him another chance? If so, is it just the drugs or himself that made that happen?I really do love him and he says he dont want to be like that. But I have never been abused and do not want it to continue. Advise please?

2006-07-10 08:40:11 · 17 answers · asked by bitch_sweets 2 in Family & Relationships Family

17 answers

Sweetie, you need to pray. It may have been the drugs but it may not have been. Try to get involved with the rehab with him. They have family counseling and other counseling sessions where family is included. The thing with rehab is that it isn't just for the drug addict, it's for everyone close to him/her. It affects everyone around them. If you truly love him, pray. Give it time, and get involved in the rehab. Make sure you give him time ot recover. Rehab takes time, patience and love and above all else, God. If he's willing to get through this with you and this child all together, he will stay strong, put God first. Good luck! If you need someone to talk to, e-mail me. I have been through this before. God heals all things. I will pray for you and your daughter and him as well.

2006-07-10 09:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9 0

Wow Sweets, what a tough situation. It sounds to me as though you love this guy a whole lot. You said he never hit you the 2 years before he got into drugs...were there other things? Shoves, pushes, pinches, hair pulling??? These are things that tell you he is going to hit you eventually. If none of those things existed, then I would be willing to say it was a drug induced thing. Now the question becomes is he in rehab and getting counseling? If yes then AFTER he completes rehab and counseling give the second chance.....If Not, then I'm sorry. If he really doesn't want to go there again then he will do what he needs to do to get out of the drugs and it is REALLY hard to do that alone without help. You don't have the training to help him the way he needs and you have a child to consider. There are problems or he would not have turned to drugging. Give yourself a pat on the back for at least asking for help for yourself. Take care and please be careful. Good luck. Nana

2006-07-10 08:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 0 0

It was probably the drugs. Of course you put yourself and your little girl in harms way if you give him another chance and he blows it. It's NOT ok that he hit you no matter what but if he has been through a SUCCESSFUL rehab then I would give him another chance. I would set some very serious ground rules about the way you or your daughter will/won't be treated and you better BAIL OUT if things look like they're going downhill. Also, if he EVER EVER EVER touches drugs again you take your daughter and you don't look back.

2006-07-10 08:46:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If he beat you up once you HAVE been abused. It's very easy to blame it on the drugs but don't forget he made the choice to do drugs and made the choice to hurt you. Don't make him out to be the victim here. You have a little girl to think of and you have to decide if you want to take the risk that he will hurt you or your precious daughter. Personally I would not take the risk but only you can make that decision for yourself. I wonder if maybe you have some self esteem issues that make you think that it was OK if he beat you only once. ONCE IS TOO MUCH! I hope you keep you and your daughter safe and remember that their are many good men out there who would never even consider hurting someone they love and who have the abilitiy to make better choices than your ex has seemed to make for himself. Good luck to you.

2006-07-10 08:51:56 · answer #4 · answered by mattsmom 2 · 0 0

well is he still using drugs? And will be be beneficial in the life of your child or will he be harmful? The biggest factor in this is your daughter. You need to do what is best for her. Honey I have been there I have 2 little boys and their dad went through the same thing using meth. He since has cleaned up but the damage has been done. I let my sons visit him and we get along great as friends I even still love him. But I believe that he is better on his own than with my kids because he still has alot of issues, I think your the only one who can make this decision, but remember that your little girl has to live with the decision that you make! good luck to you and your daughter! One more thing to think about ....A recovering drug addict will usually relapse a few times before actually quitting and that is IF they can quit! so keep that in mind for the sake of your little girl!

2006-07-10 08:48:35 · answer #5 · answered by *♥* Igotorbs*♥* 4 · 0 0

You may give him one more chance - you know him best though! After his coming out of rehab, you need to keep close watch on his activity. Also make it amply clear to him that another incident with drugs or abuse and you will be leaving him. Make sure he understands and agrees. Be gentle though when you tell him this, but make he knows you mean business and will do it if the time came. Good luck.

2006-07-10 08:48:10 · answer #6 · answered by someone 3 · 0 0

My personal belief is that you can forgive him, but don't give him the chance to hurt you again. Rehab does not guarantee that he wont start using again. If he has a tendency to be violent on drugs then it isn't safe to allow him into your life and the life of your little girl. Please think hard about this before you decide!

It is easier in the future to find someone new to love you than it is to fix someones problems.

2006-07-10 08:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by serveduphot 3 · 0 0

If he only beat you up once, and it was when he was doped up, I would give him another chance. You can assume it was the drugs, and not him.

But be on the lookout for signs of him slipping back into drugs.

Also, make it clear to him that he can never hit you again, or it will be the very last time ever.

2006-07-10 08:44:34 · answer #8 · answered by Victoria 6 · 0 0

That is a very tough choice to make. If you give him another chance, you need to set boundaries. If he is going to 12 step meetings daily and working his program, then things might change. If he doesn't, then you might need to back away. People can become better as they fight their addiction, but they have to want it. Just taking away the drugs is the only answer.

2006-07-10 08:45:06 · answer #9 · answered by nightmare0571 2 · 0 0

To begin with despite his going through rehab, the probability of his staying off drugs such as cocaine or heroine is small. You are probably in for a lot more abuse, if you stay with him. Run, do not walk to the nearest relative who will take you in.

2006-07-10 08:47:47 · answer #10 · answered by ringocox 4 · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers