He's always tired?

Question

We've been going out for a year and a half. He has a demanding job,every free moment he'll spend w/me, but he's always too tired to go out or even have sex. Is this a problem or am I ungrateful?

Answer 1

This is a problem.

he is suffereing from psychological impotence. (Too tired for sex)

[Personally, I would love it if my woman wanted me to be intimate with her more often]

Explain your needs and see what kind of compromise you can come to so you both can achieve satisfaction.

Answer 2

WAIT a minute, are you being "un-grateful?" Why should you be grateful? Because you have a man? Not good enough! Remember, you both bring unique qualities to a relationship and don't discount yours by thinking you should be grateful for his. Is he grateful for your qualities?

You have me wondering if the word "grateful" even belongs in relationship issues. It's not an empowering word at all.

Perhaps it's time you thought about your needs. Does he meet your needs? Is social life and a healthy sex life important to you? Will an anemic love that he's offering suffice in the long run? If you're bored, you should take steps to remedy the situation, like spending more time with your friends or doing your own thing, instead of worrying that you're not "grateful."

Perhaps he could take a different attitude toward work and save some energy for you. Perhaps he could look for a job that requires less of his valuable energy. Perhaps he's depressed. Perhaps he is stuck in a rut. Perhaps he needs more exercise to develop more energy. Perhaps he's not as enthusiastic about the relationship as you are. Perhaps your energy levels don't mesh. Perhaps he's not the right guy for you, it's better to get out before 5 years have passed and you're still saying the same thing.

I really hope you can pull it together, but moving on isn't failing, it's succeeding in taking care of yourself. So don't hang on to a relationship that isn't moving in a direction you want it to be going in. Give yourself the chance to find a relationship that provides the elements that are important to you. And those are some darned important things you're pointing out.

I wish you a ton of luck. You deserve the best. (we all do.)

Answer 3

I don't think this is a problem. What he needs to do is plan his life a little better than what it is if he is going to be dating. If he has a demanding job then he needs to sit down and figure out some type of plan that involves him having free time with you and not being overly tired while he's with you. He's not the only person out here with a damanding job, and other people have to figure out how they will have time for their wives or husbands, girlfriends or boyfriends, kids, etc.... So it's all about him planning and sticking to that plan. I know you don't want to come off as ungrateful, but when we are in relationships the main thing we want to feel is attention and love. You need to bring this up to him, and when you tell him let him know that the only reason your saying this to him is not to complain, but to let him know that you love him, that's why your telling him. If you didn't care about the relationship then you wouldn't be bringing anything up. Fix this now before your mind starts to change for permanent.

Answer 4

This might be a problem. How long has this been going on? What this since the beginning or just recently? If it's just recently he might be losing interest in you and this might be a way for him to distance and finally cut off all connection with you. Believe, there is always enough time to spend with other people, he might choice not to want to spend time with you or have sex. Talk to him about this, maybe you two can work it out. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Sounds like he needs to take some time off from work and recharge his batteries. Work can't be everything to a person. If it does become that, your relationship, let alone his sanity, can not survive.

Answer 6

I think it's a problem. And you ought to talk to him about that, perhaps he haven't even notice. Guys are a little clueless sometimes.

Answer 7

No one is that tired , sounds like he is one lazy mother
"F-er" I don't think it possible to be too tired for sex .

Answer 8

give him some time to recharge his batteries.he is spending time at work or with you. give him a back rub. that works like a wonder.

Answer 9

he is a workholic, well try to talk with him and dont accuse him otherwise you will complicate things even worse.

Answer 10

Listen, be glad your guy is such a hard worker. It means a lot to a guy to be able to take care of his family. If you two are serious then he would like to be able to take care of you far into the future. While it is important to enjoy life now, it is also the important part of life to be able to work your hardest and put money aside for retirement. Retirement is very difficult on those who did not plan well, put aside a solid nest egg and who depended soley on social security. It is difficult to be poor during retirement. Also, by working hard now, he may be able to retire earlier, which will give you guys the ability to really enjoy that retirement and not just "get by" month to month with little or nothing extra for fun and travel.

My fiance works twelve hour days, with one day a month on a saturday as well. He is tired during the week and needs to nap right after dinner, then we have an hour to two hours afterwords visiting and just being with each other. We rarely go out during the week, but the weekends are for us. We also rarely have sex during the week as well, as he is just too tired. I try to make things as easy on him during the week as I can. I make sure dinner is ready shortly after he gets home, the houe is clean, peaceful. We even care for our grand daughter three days a week, so I take as much as that on my own shoulders as possible now we live together. He does help out, but I try to have as much done as possible in order to keep it down as to what he would feel he needs to do to help me out. He is just the sweetest man in the world, well in MY world. He puts me first and I put him first. I understand how hard he works and he understands how hard I work. We help each other. I know he loves me and I do not have to have sex during the week for him to make me feel wanted. I am not saying you do either. I am just saying their are many ways to share a life and show love without sex. We have a healthy sex life on the weekends. We do a lot on the weekends, go on trips and just go to the stores and do all the errands we can on the weekends toghether. I just make sure he has his naps after dinner during the week, so he can be well rested for our weekends together. Perhaps if your man took naps after dinner he would be more rested too. My guy takes his naps with his head in my lap on the couch while I care for our grand daughter, and we have an extra entertainment center in our bedroom, so when we don't have Emily we go in there and he lays his head on my shoulder while I watch t.v. or listen to the stereo, or watch a DVD, or read in my manuals for school, etc. Then we get up after his nap and do our e-mail and browsing for whatever together on our computes which are side by side in our office.

If you can find ways to help him get more rest and cut down on what he has to do after work at home, it will go a long way towards him not only being rested for his time off with you, but will show him exactly how deeply you love him and how important his health and well being is to you. Just get creative and make things work between the two of you. Put yourself in his shoes and then try to find ways to make things easier, more restful for him. He obviously loves you as he is spending all his free time with you, so just find ways to get him more rest. If you are not living togther, perhaps allowing him to nap after work instead of going out. Perhaps evenings in with your fixing dinner or doing some dishes and laundry for him will ease his load. I don't know what your situation is, so you will have to use your creativity to find what works for the two of you.

I don't think there is any "problem" nor do I think you are "ungrateful". I just think he is really tired and needs to find a way to get some extra hours of snooze time. In your arms, or lap would be the best method, at least it is for me, it may be different for you. You two love each other, so just do what is best for him and everything will not only get back to "normal" but will even improve your relationship. How would you feel if your man saw you were having a serious problem and he went way out of his way to find a method to ease that problem? Without your having to ask? I know it makes me feel very special, wanted, important and loved by my man.

Before I moved in he was trying to get by on four or five hours sleep a day. He was, but he was wiped out. After I moved in I just had him lay down by me and told him not to worry if he fell asleep we were together and I would watch Emily. Now he gets around seven to eight hours a night. He has so much more energy and our relationship has really taken off. I think you guys will be just fine if you get creative with how to get your guy more rest. You may have to let him do it without you, but it is best in my opinion if you have him nap while you are with him. you two are still together, even if he is asleep. I like to rub his head, shoulders, or back and sides while he is sleeping. He loves feeling me beside him and my touch soothes him to sleep. You and your guy are going to be fine, nothing is wrong except he needs more rest.


Good luck and have a great day!