My boyfriend doesn't keep his promises. What can I do?

Question

I'm starting to realize that my boyfriend does not keep his promises. We're in a very committed relationship and I love him very much. However, I'm starting to think that maybe he's a flake when it comes to keeping up his end of bargains. When I ask him to do what he has promised, he often yells at me and accuses me of nagging him, even after I point out that a) he has no right to yell at me and b) if he would just do what he had already told me he would do, this wouldn't be an issue. What else can I do to make him understand that I am starting to think less of him and that this affects our relationship?

Answer 1

Trust is what makes a relationship work. Without it, there's no point in wasting anymore time with your significant other. Let him know that it bothers you he can't keep his word. Tell him that if he can't keep them, don't make them. There's no use in him leading you on to believe that he's going to do what he says. It's unhealthy to keep going on like this, so you need to make a smart decision. If things don't change pretty quickly, it's time for a new relationship. Though you may really like, maybe even love this guy, it's the best thing for you to move on. Someone who can't keep their promises now, are going to have the same problems as the relationship goes on. You need that trust, and without it, there's nothing but an infatuation. Infatuations don't become relationships. It's just a physical attraction to each other. It seems as if you might be more into this relationship than him. You need to sit down and talk about what's best for the both of you. Figure out if it's really worth all the stress. He can't seem to keep his promises, next he'll start hiding things from you, and before you know it he may even start cheating.

Answer 2

Welcome to the vicious cycle that ends many relationships. You begin to feel let down by him not keeping promises, and start getting emotional about it, or start "nagging". Though you may not intend to nag, or really even be doing it, this is all your man will hear. In order for him to start listening to you, truly, you probably need to back off. If these promises that he isn't keeping are things that you can take care of yourself, then take care of them. The more he hears nagging, the further he'll push you. You gotta break the cycle, and it starts with you realizing that your happiness should not be dependent on what he does for you. Then, if he disappoints you, not only will it hurt you less, but you'll be more willing to accept his faults. Of course, there are just some low lifes out there. You know him best - so ask yourself - if this is how things are going to be, do I really want to relive this same disappointment for the REST of my life?

Answer 3

you're right he has NO right to yell at you and he's only saying that your "nagging" because he doesn't want to own up to his mistakes. If you feel you are in a committed relationship then talk to him. Don't yell or cry/ Just sit down and tell him "hey, i don't like it when..." If he cares about you he'll respect your feelings and be more sensitive.

Good luck.

Answer 4

This is a true loser and your seeing the real him. Guys do thinks for us girls cause they want us to feel good and appreciate their good efforts at being nice and showing us the respect we want. This guy promises are useless words with no content and getting angry over things who assured and promised he would do is simply him living a lie. I can't see if you stay together there would be anything between you. You would only resent him for not doing things he promised to do and drop him he is immature full of anger and who knows how long until he starts putting his hands on you. get away from this loser he is bad news and will remain bad news as long as he is around

Answer 5

Dump him and fast.
Not keeping his promises now shows a trait of his character and that would lead to more serious problems.
You say you are in a committed relationship but it seems to me that this "commitment" is one sided because if he can't keep his promises to you it means that his commitment to you lacks.
Confront him with how this is affecting your feelings towards him and your relationship, but also keep in mind that this may be a pretty good preview of what's to come so act accordingly.

Answer 6

if i were you i will tell him that you are going to break up with him just to scare him up, tell him that you are not putting up with all that, and you need him to mature and learn how to compromise and put some action to his words, and if he doesn't change then get out of that relationship and find someone who truly respects you and understand the importance of delivering what they promise, you can also try reverse psychology, start promising things to him and don't do them, give him a taste of his own medicine so he can see how it feels...

Answer 7

Give him a taste of his own medicine. Promise to give him some and then don't. Then we he goes into "but you promised" mode tell him that that's how you feel when he breaks promises.

Answer 8

get a piggy bank tell him every time he breaks a promise he has to put 10 dollars into it. sooner or later he'll feel the pinch then break it in front of him and show him how much is inside that will make him know how bad he is doing then go buy yourself something nice with that money you earn it.

Answer 9

He's got anger and authority problems, he needs to understand that although women love to nag us to death and controll us in every single way, they are still boss and we do what they want us to do. Try counseling or just chop his nuts off, then he'll learn.

Answer 10

Give him up. That's all.