Writing your own vows...?

Question

I would like to write my own vows for my wedding day but I have been told that writing your own vows takes away what God has planned for marriage i.e. the roles of the husband and wife and what type of life they are supposed to lead. Is this true?? Is there away aI can write my own vows and still incorperate the traditional vows without taking away from Gods word or is there no way wround it??

Sorry about the typos....

Answer 1

Vows are words symbolic of a promise you are making to each other. I'm no biblical scholar but last time I checked the "vows" that we take when getting married are not listed in the bible. Somebody wrote those a long time ago. They are listed in many hymnals or orders of worship, but are not actual scripture. So you aren't taking anything away from God's blessing of your marriage.

Writing your own vows is great. But it is serious business. Of course you can have fun with it, but remember that what you say is a promise you are making to your new husband that you will be expected to keep in years and decades to come. So be sure you mean what you say. And be sure you do make a promise in those vows. Don't spend the entire thing telling your new husband how wonderful he is. You can do that if you like but make sure you make your actual promise as to what you intend to do for him and with him as his wife. Be realistic. This is the standard you are setting for yourself in your marriage and what your husband is entitled to expect of you. He will need to do the same for you.

I hope that helps. God bless and congrats!

Answer 2

My husband and I each wrote our own vows for our wedding and it was the most special part of the day! The traditional marriage vows are not in the Bible and I think it is alright to modify them or write your own. I looked at several tradional vows and tooks parts out of each of them that I liked and then added some of my own promises in, like to love and support my husband, never take our marriage for granted, etc... Good luck!

Answer 3

Traditional vows are always nice but I think that writing your own is more personal. You can include some of the traditional in your written...just start writing. It will come to you. There is no right or wrong answer. You do what your heart wants.

Good luck and God bless!

Answer 4

I think writing your own vows is a very nice gesture. I think it brings a more personal and modern feel to the wedding. God knows what you plan to do as husband and wife. so don't worry about what all the haters say girl! Do it your own way!!!!!

Answer 5

Following is an excerpt from Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, by Judith Martin (Atheneum Press).

It is never too soon to plan your wedding, especially if you have already met someone you like. But if you plan your wedding to be spontaneous, original, honest and open, a dramatic presentation of your own personal love story, beliefs, and aspirations, Miss Manners will not attend. Miss Manners see enough bad plays as it is.

All the world loves lovers except, of course, the people who were married to them when they fell in love. But love is no excuse for inviting people to a popular pageant and treating them, instead, to amateur theatrics about sex and philosophy. When people write their own wedding ceremonies, it is generally with the belief that the standard ones are boring or hypocritical (not to mention the crazy idea that "The Prophet" is better than the Bible). This is a basic misunderstanding about the nature of ceremony.

Miss Manners has no objection to bridal couples' doing some discreet editing of the standard ceremony, omitting details they find offensive, such as obeying and giving away. Certainly, the innovation of including children form previous unions who will be underfoot in the new one is important. But they should bear in mind that symbols are intended to apply generally to the social function of the occasion, and are not clues to private behavior. The bride and bridegroom should not use the occasion to announce that they have considered themselves married already, belittling the social and legal sanction they are now receiving. It is rude to brag about your sex life at a public function.

Traditional ceremonies, whether civil or religious, express hopes and ideals; they do not make realistic predictions. Statistically, it may be true that it is likely to be the bride and bridegroom's subsequent feelings, not death, which do them part. But that is no excuse for making lukewarm vows to stay together "as long as we both shall wish." How would you like to hear a President of the United States take an inaugural vow to uphold the Constitution as long as it doesn't interfere with his political plans?

The long, droning parts of the ceremony do not, in fact, bore the wedding guests. These merely give them time to enjoy appropriate thoughts for the occasion, such as "What does she see in him?" and What does he see in her?"

Answer 6

Sweety, you can write whatever you want and let God say whatever he wants too. It Is your WEDDING and you need to make your own decisions. FYI this is 2006! Let the nosy people know about this because times have changed. Moreover, you can pay someone to also type your vows and you could probably pay someone to make them up for you. LOL

Answer 7

yes write your own vows those are your own words and that has nothing to do with what God has in store for you . Good luck

Answer 8

wite your own vows only if you mean every word of it

Answer 9

you should write your own vows.

Answer 10

we jus wrote like a few lines an read to each other durin the wedding.......was awesome