he asked me what would I tell the baby when he asked 'where's daddy?' he didn't want the baby in the first place and now that I've given birth he wants the baby?What should I do with this man?
2006-07-10 07:48:58 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
he never mention he wants to support the child. He just want to know how's the child that's all. I believe he's getting the cheaper way out coz thru me, he doesn't have to pay a single cent yet knows that child's upbringing.
2006-07-10 08:11:23 · update #1
you tell your child that daddy is not here with you but mommy loves you more than anyone. I grew up without a father and i am happy. Besides, your child does not need a "father" like that one. When your child is no longer a child he will be able to understand the whole situation. for now, just take care and enjoy your child. you have enough time to worry about it.
2006-07-10 07:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by sweetbeba05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing here is the child. Set up visitation and allow the father to be a part of the child's life. He may not have wanted the baby at first but that is irrelevant now and it should never be mentioned to the child. Never ever speak bad about the father because trust me, the child will find out what kind of man daddy is (good or bad) for him/herself.
My daughter's father is not involved in her life at all. It would be nice if he would take even a small interest in her.
2006-07-10 07:55:55 · answer #2 · answered by treasures320 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is the baby's father, so he does have rights. He might have wanted you to abort before and you have every right to be upset/hurt about that, but now that your child is here you should allow him to be a part of the child's life if he is willing. I'm not saying to let him take the kid for weeks at a time or anything - but letting him come over to see the baby/spend time with the baby would be a good place to start.
2006-07-10 07:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't never ever talk bad about your babies daddy,that's grong even if he deserve to be called a JERK. What you can do is allowed for this "men" to register the baby with his last name even if you don;t get married or never go back together again. Allowed for him to accept he is the father then go to child support office & explain that you are a single mother & give all the information posible from the father that way the court can order him to help you support your baby & ask them that you want full custody of your baby that way they can help you get a lawyer to go to court & settle visitations & $$$ for child support that ways he as a"father" can have rights.But let the child to have communication w/ the father & let the chold decide if he is a good or bad father.. Your job is only to give all the love possible, protect (him/her) & be a good mommy that way he/she will grow up happy !! GOOD LUCk & congratulations take care of your little angel !!!
2006-07-10 08:04:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The decision to keep or terminate an unwanted pregnancy can be tough. However I commend you for your choice. Unfortunately when you bring a child into the world, it's all about that child. That child belongs to you and him.Though you may not want to, give him a chance to be a father, in this way you will be giving your child the blessing that both parents are in his life. Trust me, it's gonna be hard by yourself. Sometimes you make bad decisions, in life and pretty sure that's what he made, give him another chance to prove himself to you and the baby. It may just work out!! and if it doesn't well I at least you gave it a try. But these days we need to have family in our children's lives. They are our future, and they have an opportunity to be a better person with the influence of both parents there.
Good Luck!!!!
2006-07-10 08:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by sassytrini2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that now that now that the baby is here he has faced reality and his feelings have changed. Give him a chance to be a father. It is only fair both to him and the baby that they have a chance for a relationship. If you find out that he can't handle the responsibility then take it from there. I think sometimes women face the reality of having a baby and being a parent sooner than a man. Simply because pregnancy helps us do so. Don't judge too quickly on this one. He may surprise you and end up being a great father. Good luck to all of you.
2006-07-10 08:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by geni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he gave up his rights to make any decisions regarding his baby from the start. I would go ahead and raise your baby without this man - unless you want to be raising two babies at the same time. What do you mean when you say he wants the baby? Does he want to stay with you and the baby? Does he want you to give him the baby? Does he wish his baby well?
If he wants to be with you, he's got a lot of growing up to do first. He has to prove himself by actions, not words. He was probably very scared by all of that. I would keep in touch with him and let him see the baby once in a while, because hopefully he will grow up enough to be a positive influence in his baby's life later on. Right now, he's immature, scared and confused and not suitable "marriage material." If he really wants you and the baby, let him work to prove it. If not, then I hope you can have a civilized relationship with him, and find a better truer partner.
2006-07-10 08:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, this man does have a parental right to see his child. I've encountered many guys that didn't want their child, but had a change of heart once the baby was born. Do everything you can thru the court system to ensure everything is documented legally. Even go as far as setting up a visitation schedule that you can both agree on and have it notorized. Keep copies of everything! You don't want to end up going thru an ugly custody battle trapping your little one in the middle of parents that have bitter feelings towards one another! It's totally unfair to all children that have to endure that pain! My sister and her fiance are going thru that w/ his 2 kids and it's really awful! On the other hand, my sister has documented EVERYTHING! She's got 6 binders worth of "stuff" from report cards, drawings, medical records, emails, etc. Needless to say, her organization got her and her fiance full custody of the kids! As parents, you and the father need to put aside your personal differneces and remain civil towards one another if only to benefit the child. As Dr. Phil says, "You need to be co-parents." Good luck!
2006-07-10 08:22:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that this guy deserves to be around the child and you. You and your baby deserve a lot better. I understand you wanting him to be a part of this baby's life, but you have to look at the whole picture and see if he will be good for the baby and you or just a bother. Does this guy mean a lot to you? Who means more to you the baby or the guy? I think you and the baby would be better off with out him...but that is my opinion. Congrates on the baby.
2006-07-10 08:02:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say "wants the baby" does this mean he wants to be financially there for the baby and to be the baby's father unconditionally as in emotionally, physically and lovingly forever? This is what I would see the definition of "wants the baby" means. Legally he has that right, so file immediately for child support and see if he sticks around to be a "Father" to the child.
2006-07-10 08:01:26 · answer #10 · answered by kb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋