Please be mature about this. Is she just testing me?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about two months now and we completely respect each other. About a week ago she said that she wanted to take our relationship slow. I am just fine with waiting for however long she wants. But I could not help but wonder if she was testing me with this. Now before you answer this question I am old enough to be dating(18), I am a bit inexperienced about dating but willing to try, and I am not in relationships for just booty calls. So if you are going to answer something rude or crude, do not even bother. And dont answer this question with something obvious.

Again, I could not help but wonder. Is she just testing me? Please be mature with you answers. Sorry about the length of this.

Answer 1

In perspective you have to admit two months isn't that long... Think of it like this, if she is waiting this long, she probably doesn't make this decision lightly, and from the sound of it I am guessing maybe you don't either... That is a big plus, especially if this turns out to be "the one", and it sounds like both of you could actually be on the right track... Keep this in mind... all relationships have to be "tested" to some extent... The longer you wait the more security she may feel that you will not bail on her after she gives in to you... and sadly, there are guys out there who give guys a bad rep, by being just such a kind of guy... I have been known to take my time with a guy and to wait for longer periods than two months, believing the guy was just the right kind of guy, only to have him "win his conquest" and then be less attentive unless he wanted to "play around" again... In the end I was sorry I ever allowed them to touch me or that I even shared my world and time with them... I commend you for being willing to wait... It shows character and what I would consider to be true feelings for her... be patient anything truly worth having is worth waiting for!

Answer 2

Well, it seems you are making the assumption that she is going to sleep with you; like it is some sort of "given" that because you are dating that you will also be having sex. Not always (and probably the world would be a little better of if there were less of a rush to the bedroom.)

You are "only" 18. Yeah, yeah - I know - it feels like you know everything now and there isn't much more to know and why shouldn't you two go to bed now and blah, blah, blah, blah. Gawd, what you are going to know in 10 years and looking back, you will slap your forehead with the realization of just how much you didn't know.

But back you you NOW. Two months is just a fingersnap of time. She shouldn't be splitting the sheets with you yet - nor should you be hitting the hay with her. Two months, at age 18, is barely enough time to know much of anything about the other person.

If all the two of you were doing was hooking up, then I guess you'd already have done that. But since you two "completely respect" one another, then it seems you two are looking for a little more serious and complete relarionship. That being the case, then - no - I don't think she is" testing" you. I think she is waiting.

You might want to have a serious talk with her about what each of your considers a serious relationship to entail. She may not want to add sex to the mix for a very long time while you are expecting it now. The only way to find out is to talk about it - don't make assumptions.

Answer 3

apparently I missed the part of the possible test in your info.Two months is not a long time to date some one,depending on actual time spent together. if she wants to take it slow, you were probably getting too close too fast.Not being experienced at this, you wouldn't know the difference.I'm not ragging ya, its just the way it is.If you haven't said the love word, or expressed a sentiment that refers to 4ever or undieing attention, shes probly ! playing you 2 got another someone whos better than you, and has more money or 3she's a scared deer her self and dont know a down man when shes one.If the ans is 1 or 2 , through in the towle,the partys over, If its three, theres achance to show her her fatal mistake, and come back with open arms and teary eyed. dont knock , I have dated enough girls to know the score. Most will game on ya if they think they can. respect is a good thing to have for both, dont loose that till after she looses grasp of hers . Id probly swap her in a few bootie calls that sounds like the most fun,theres plenty more where she came from, through her back and enjoy your youth. Sighned Hitch

Answer 4

Two months is not that long depending on where you live. Eg in the states children as young as 12 and 13 are dating but where I live parents try and mostly suceed to delay this till their children are about 18.

I can only assume that your gf is also of an age where she is also old enough to be dating. She may really just want to take the time to get to know you, etc.

Enjoy this part of dating, go to the movies, park, etc, enjoy the clean fun, the thrill, excitement, suspense, while it lasts. Soon you may wonder where did it all go?

P.S. If she is testing you , I do believe you will win, if you really do like her!!! Who knows, you may get the grand prize :-)

Answer 5

You seem to be very mature about this relationship and maybe that is making her scared. She could be wanting to slow down so that she is sure you are the one for her, or maybe she wants you to be sure that she is the one you want. There could also be outside influences, parents or friends telling her that she should take it slow at her age (if she is your age or younger) but don't take that as them not liking you, they maybe making that suggestion because they care about her and know her in a different way then you do. Whatever you do try not to be too concerned about her wanting to slow down, if she were sure she did not want to be with you or thought you were not trustworthy she probably would have just broken things off with you all together.
Good luck, I hope everything works out well for you both.

Answer 6

yea, it could be possible. maybe she really likes you and wants to see how you react. maybe she is afraid that all you do want is a booty call and shes letting you know this now so the relationship dont go on and then after you get what you want you hurt her. maybe shes just scared about what might happen if you take it too fast, that you both might realize it was a mistake. Or maybe shes just afraid of having sex and she dont want you to put too much pressure on her. The most important thing in a relationship is communication. Just ask her.

Answer 7

It could be that she needs space (you may be too demanding of her time) or she is going the direction of non-interest in you. Based on my 20+ years of dating I recommend you tell her "I completely understand" and that you "respect her position". Then, stop calling her for awhile and see how she responds. Sometimes giving another space is enough to make them realize how important you are to them. Moreover, she will respect you a lot more for giving her the space and resisting the urge to call her.

If she doesn't call or contact you within a week, I think the relationship may be in trouble. Don't fret though, you are young and will have many more of these experiences.

Although my solution is not "politically correct" it is "real world" and will tell you a lot about your position with her.

Answer 8

No I do not think it is just a test..2 months is kinda fast...not now days it seems, because there is a lot of young people that take it way too fast and people your age and older. Give it some time or maybe talk to her about how you feel, and why, and see what she says. Plus if she is testing you, some girls just do that to see how serious about the relationship you are.

Answer 9

well, is she the type to test you? and what exactly would this "test" be proving? that you like her enough to take it slow, and that you dont want the sex right away?

if thats what she wants, and you are willing to wait for her, then do it.

dont worry about if its a test or not, because buddy, EVERYTHING she does is a test, if she asks you a simple question, its a test, if she wears something new, you BETTER compliment it, because EVERY LITTLE ACTION that a girl takes, ( and i stress GIRL, since they are immature and need attention and lack self-confidence) is a test.

it is your duty as a man, to do one of 2 things.

1-go along with her, and appease her every whim, which will ultimately lead to your not getting ANY sex without her asking for it.

or

2-decide for yourself which battles NEED to be fought, dont just let her make the decisions all the time, stand up for what you want, because relationships are two-sided. they require input and debate from both parties. and the outcome should always be a mutual conclusion. this way. you get what you want, and she gets what she wants, even if you both have to make sacrifices and comitments.

I suggest you go with choice 2.

as for you current problem, ask yourself this,

is she worth it?

do you want to wait for her? or would you rather go otu and get laid?

and, if thats so, CAN you go out and get laid? or, do you have a better chance of winning the lottery? then, i suggest you stick with her my friend, since ALL 18 yr old girls want sex just as bad as we do. and she will soon be done testing your loyalty, and move on to testing your, well performance skills.

Answer 10

Maybe she is not just testing you but just wants to make sure that you know that she wants to take it slow. Its only been two months and maybe she just isnt sure about somethings. Im sure she trust you alot but she just wants to lay it down that she is comfortable with where the relationship is and is not ready for more than she can handle. all you have to do is just tell her that she doesnt have anything to worry about and that you will wait for as long as she wants and you can be sure that she will like you more.

Good Luck!!