My best friend that needs a place to stay and so I have invited him to live in my spare room. I have known him for 11 years. He is single but I am married (9 years) and have three young boys. We work at the same place but never at the same time. He works in the daytime like most normal people but I work overnight. At night he would be at home with my family 5 nights a week. I completely trust him and so does my wife. My wife says perhaps rumors will get started but I'm not really worried about that too much. Also, I am a deacon at our church. What do you think?
2006-07-10 06:55:09 · 26 answers · asked by TryingToLearn 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
BAD IDEA!!
Your heart is in the right place...but we are all sinners! Think about this...what if your wife's best friend was living in your house and you were home in the evenings with her?
Look. I'm a Christian. I'm a Pastor's wife. That is very dangerous. Don't even take the chance. Help him with rent money. Men should be living with men. Find him a place to rent that only has males living there.
We had my husband's best friend living with us for about 2 years. No lines were crossed, but it wasn't easy. I cooked him dinner...he would watch t.v with us...I washed his clothes... It was like I was his wife too! At least my husband was around in the evenings.
It is only natural for your wife to begin talking to him about life...asking him his opinion. You really don't want him to replace you, do you? Any time a woman spends frequent time with a man she will begin to care for him.
You may think he isn't attractive, she would never do that...she won't find him attractive...
Please don't be foolish! You don't want the heart ache. Help find him a place to rent somewhere else...even if you need to help pay for it.
2006-07-10 07:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by Red-dog-luke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just really look into how your wife feels about it. Really talk to her and think about how she gets along with your friend, how she feels about being home with the kids and him in the evenings. I wouldn't be as concerned about what other might say, the most important thing is your family and your marriage. But even if you choose to do it, reexamine the issue in the coming weeks. Circumstances and feelings can change pretty quickly. And if you do it, make you sure you set a real time limit for him to stay.
2006-07-10 14:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by AreolaDC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very warm, Christian way to show love and concern for another person. And actually, these days with financial difficulties becoming more troublesome for so many people, this living situation is really not that unusual; I am a social worker, and we have situations where we actually suggest such an arrangement -- living with a friend or relative -- until the person can get on their feet again.
God Bless you!
2006-07-10 14:04:31 · answer #3 · answered by Honeybee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep the time your friend stays in your house to a minimum. I assume he will move out again when he is financially able. If people are gossipers, just have church members come visit on an ongoing basis, so more people can know exactly what the situation is.
2006-07-10 14:34:41 · answer #4 · answered by Cookie777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm, as long as you trust your wife and him, I see no problem with it. Of course rumors will occur, everyone likes to think the worst of people. I can imagine you'll have gossip to deal with but since you're a deacon, I'm sure others with understand your charity.
2006-07-10 13:58:58 · answer #5 · answered by Candice H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked your wife how she feels about the arrangement? When you did so, did you do so in a fashion that she could say, "I'm not comfortable with this" without feeling horrible to your friend for doing so?
Public perception isn't the issue. The feelings of your family are what matters.
2006-07-10 13:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by jplrvflyer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we have opened up our home several times both to singles and married.
people will talk unfortunately that's a downfall. If u have talked earnestly with your wife and both have prayed and feel the Lords leading in this then do it and don't worry about what peeps say. If u want to talk more email me sshhorty2@yahoo.com
will be praying for u all
2006-07-10 14:18:54 · answer #7 · answered by sshhorty2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not see a problem as long as you trust each other, I gather he is also a christian also. I have learned thru experience that these situations are not always a good thing. but I also believe in helping friends in need. So as long as the trust is there and no one oversteps thier bounds it should be allright.
2006-07-10 14:02:12 · answer #8 · answered by perplexed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say this is an unwise decision. You may know and trust him, but tell me this. What did the wisest (Solomon), Strongest (Samson), and best man (David) all have in common? They all failed when it came to women. It is important to understand that no matter how well intentioned we may be, we are all human and will sin. It is better to avoid a situation that you might not be able to resist, you are putting your friend into a situation that he might not be able to resist.
2006-07-10 14:01:47 · answer #9 · answered by derajer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say its great that you trust your friend. But I would also think it would be wise to not let the adversary get a foot hold in your life by risking talk or feeling of lust between your wife and your friend.
2006-07-10 14:01:11 · answer #10 · answered by saintrose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋