Me and my husband lost our daughter in March and we are thinking about trying to have another child...?

Question

Me and my husband lost our daughter in March and we are thinking about trying to have another child is it to early.

Answer 1

My deepest sympathies for your loss.

Honestly, only you and your husband can make that call. And, you must be sure of it because, no matter what you do, your "friends" and family will make the occasional rude comments. "Don't you think it's too soon?" or "Haven't you tried again? What are you waiting for?" They mean well, but people can really be stupid when they're nervous.

Think through what it will be like to be pregnant and what it will be like having a new baby. Are you ready to experience the joy, or will you feel disrespectful to your daughter? I'm not saying that you should have any guilt, you should NOT, but be sure that you feel that way in your hearts.

The fact that you and your husband have managed to stick together through this tragedy is a testament to your strength. Many couples break up after such a happening. Since you're still together and talking about having another child, it sounds like you are ready. However, only the two of you can make the decision. Don't let any answers here, your friends, or your family make this very important decision for you.

Answer 2

I don't think it is. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant when I lost my little boy, but my husband and I knew we wanted children, so 6 weeks later we tried again and got pregnant, everything worked out fine. The only advice I can give you is to try and remember that this baby is not like the 1st baby. I found myself saying well, this is what I was going to do with the 1st baby and it made it hard, I had to remember that the 1st baby was with God in Heaven and this baby was here and needed me to be a mother to it, not a mother to a deceased child. Once I got over comparing the 2 babies and loved the one for who it is things worked much better.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for your loss, God bless your little angel werever she is...
But it is up to you & your hubby, my sister in law lost her baby boy when she was away 1 week to be 9 moths. unfortunally she lost him but got pregnant after 4 months now she has another boy who's almost 5 & the are both happy she always used to say that his little angel had a better mission w/ God & that's why God send her another boy not to replace the one you had but to be part of the family that you are. One baby will not replace the other but it will bring you the same joy to have him/ her in your family & remember always the little angel that God took for a reason. I also lost a baby when I was 9 week but after few months with out notice I find out that I was pregnant again & I was so happy... It can be hard but if you & your hubby agree on having another baby go for it your little girl will be happy to have a baby brother or sister... GOOD LUCK !!!! GOD bleess you & your family !!!

Answer 4

I'm sorry to know of your loss.

A very serious question: have you & he sought grief counseling?

The reason I ask is this: you might want a baby this soon (it's only been 4 months) because perhaps subconciously you want to replace your lost little girl with surogate baby.
It is a very difficult transition to go through, and it might help to know that your motives are pure.
Its a harsh reality, and I don't want you to take offense (none's intended). This is just a wretched fact of emotional mending.

Answer 5

This is something that you really need to discuss with your doctor. Especially if you were far enough along to know the sex of the baby that you lost. Was your doctor able to tell you why you lost your daughter? Was it something that could possibly be genetic?

Answer 6

Wow, I am sorry for your loss. May god grant you both the strength you need in this difficult time. If you both feel that you are both emotionally ready, then by all means have another child. Good luck to you both.

Answer 7

I am really sorry to hear about your loss. But are you ready to start over. Sometimes greivance last a lot longer then you think. Maybe talking to a therapist first to make sure that nothing is repressed, then try again. Just make sure that you both are going to be happy.

Answer 8

I too am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and Prayers go out to you.
I agree, it is up to you if you are ready. You may feel you are ready to fill that hole in your heart. Whatever you and your husband decide, I am sure it's a blessing from God. He works in mysterious ways. Good Luck to you.

Answer 9

I'm very sorry for your loss but I would say if you are ready to try again then that is your choice. Just remember that it isnt your falt what happened with your daughter

Answer 10

whenever you feel that you are ready, go for it. losing a child is the most terrible thing a person can ever have to deal with, my sympathies. Best of luck to you in the future.