im dating this guy who admit to me that he used to physically abused his ex gf. i have known him for a year before we started dating ang u had not idea he used to do that, but now e have been dating for 3 months.
should i worry about his past abusive side?
he has never hit me or anything, hell i think hes scared of me to tell you the truth(im one of those girls who dont take **** from men) anyway he said he would nevr raise his hands on me and he trully regretted hitting his ex, but he really likes me and i like him to.
i dont know what to do?
2006-07-10 06:33:31 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
THE GOOD THING IS HE ADMITTED IT TO YOU. THAT'S THE FIRST STEP. YOU CANT HOLD SOMEONE TO THEIR PAST FOREVER BECAUSE HE COULD HAVE MADE THE CHOICE NOT TO TELL YOU. IF HE TRIES ANYTHING JUST BE READY TO KICK HIS @SS! GIVE IT A TRY. GOOD LUCK.
2006-07-10 06:45:11 · answer #1 · answered by ANGEL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before I give you this info, I would like to say that EVERY MAN IS DIFFERENT. Just because stats say one thing doesn't mean that the guy you are with is like this.
Now, according to studies, most abusers continually abuse. This counts for emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Also, most abuse occurs in dating relationships as opposed to marriage, strangely enough (I wish I had the stats in front of me, I apologize for not including them).
However, a person I know and his family was physically abused for years. However, the abuser eventually stopped drinking so much, got his act together, and the abuse has stopped. I will not try to persuade you either way with this guy, but I did want to provide at least some information
2006-07-10 06:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by felix_dovetail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it depends on why he was abusive. Maybe he needs more help then you can offer. Find out what made him abusive and see what triggered his anger. People might say that "once a cheater always a cheater" but i dont always believe that people change and maybe u are the right person for him. I hope u know that if he ever does raise that hand that u raise urs back! Good Luck!
2006-07-10 06:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by jjsassy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nobody can tell you what to do or not to do. If someone would suggest you leave him because history usually tends to repeat itself you would likely come up with an excuse not to. However, keep it in mind and know that he is capable. He did it once before and most likely apologized for it and regretted it too. But I'll also bet it didn't end there either. My advice. Be careful and watch closely at body language and things of that nature. You never know when past habits can come back to haunt someone.
2006-07-10 06:37:36 · answer #4 · answered by stepmomster22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could never hit you. You will never know until the day comes. I was married to a man that beat me daily for 8 years. We have been divorced for six and he has never hit his girlfriend of six years once. I would not want to take the chance. But some people just get along better with others.
2006-07-10 06:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by Heidi B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep him off the beer and you shouldent have problems. 99% of abusive men have some form of drug or alcohol in there system.. How is his temper? Have you seen it? does he have a short fuse? If so there may be a problem. Women useually won't get abused at the beginning of the relationship, it useually comes after the man is more comphertable with you.
2006-07-10 06:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by ntlgnce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be extremely careful with this. He's done it in the past, and his ugly past can show itself in the future. Just make sure he understands that you won't stand for it, you'll call the cops and file charges on him, then dump him. Honestly, most of these guys go from person to person, so be on your guard. Think this over very carefully. Best of luck to you..........
2006-07-10 06:42:32 · answer #7 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should walk way before things get out of hand .if he hit her he may do the same to you. what makes you so diff from the first or how every many there are he has only told you about one and what happen to that girl. what makes you think he has changed did he go and get help or what
2006-07-10 06:38:42 · answer #8 · answered by ahrtracy13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is really sorry for what he has done in the past! And just like I said the PAST is the PAST!!! As long as you guys are in a good realtionship dont worry about the past.
2006-07-10 06:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by mgw20nwv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK there are classes to be taken and if he really wants to help himself and make himself more aware of why he has done this....it is called Batterer's Intervention...I know this because my boyfriend of almost 4 mo...is going through this....he is really wanting to fix himself..and it happens one class at a time. It is a 40 week class and they are a little ..expensive but they may help only if he wants to help himself..
2006-07-10 06:43:15 · answer #10 · answered by Mother2one238 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and he probably said the same thing to her. I'd watch out. Ask him if he got help with his anger issues. Things won't be a bed of roses forever ya know!!!
2006-07-10 06:36:32 · answer #11 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋