My cousin's fiancee?

Question

I was at a two family parties over the weekend, and my cousin's fiancee was constantly flirting with me. He even told me that I can go swimming in his swimming pool when I have my own right in my yard! He kept running into me playing volleyball, and touching me. He did all of this right in front of my cousin, and she didn't say anything. He wanted me to go in the pool with him so he could "throw me around". What the hell?!?!

While we were in the pool, he tried to kiss me, on many different occasions.

Well, he is around 38, and normally that age wouldn't bother me, but he is engaged to my cousin. If I didn't have my boyfriend already, and he wasn't engaged to my cousin, I might think about it.

He is only touchy-feely when it comes to me. He kept walking up behind me and hugging me. While starting to kiss my neck.

No alcohol was involved. He wasn't drunk and neither was I.

Answer 1

You're 17, he's in his thirties. Now that I'm hitting 29 and the girl next door turned 17 I'm also trying to tell myself it's wrong to ogle, or toss her around in the pool. Apparently this guy is less bothered, at his own house especially, where he has a fiancée?!.. Just because his morals are set slightly lower, doesn't mean you should respond to it at all. Cynically (I'm good at cynical viewpoints, sorry) he's just another oldish bloke with just another youngish girl - don't get into that. If you fall in love blablabla it's different, but from what you say it seems a one way street, probably physical only too. Besides, your bf came back recently? If I were a bf, recently back, and my gf would tell me a story like this, I might want to tell this guy off - or resort to physical violence - whichever comes easiest. So, to conclude, don't adhere to any advice given here - just have your bf set this guy straight ;o) MarthaJ has a fair pint though. Btw pools lend themselves fantastically to creative means of torture, but for that I'll leave you to yer own devices - I'm already convinced they're adequate. ;o)

Answer 2

well your cousin man got playing hands. You can tell her, about what he said to you. Also what he would like for you to do as well. Then again, your cousin could say, that you are just jealous of her. You don't won't an angerment between you both.
So stay away from him, as best as you can. Tell him to back off, and respect what relationship he has with your cuz. To her, he might be acting nice toward her family. She sounds like she is so much in love. That she is blinded by what he does.
If you do tell her, and try to explain things to her. Then she get mad and refuse to hear anymore about it. Then let go, and keep to yourself. She will learn sooner or later how he is.
Some people just have to learn the hard way.

Answer 3

You should say something to your cousin, like, "He's SOO friendly, you should talk to him because if he's like that all the time people could get the wrong impression. I mean, he was really touchy-feely at the get-together last weekend, and if I didn't know he's head over heels in love with you i'd think he was flirting!"

--that way you're still on her "side," not bashing her man, while at the same time letting her know what was going on

Answer 4

Just because he flirts with you, does not necessarily mean he wants to be with you. It surely made you feel uncomfortable, but you will just have to let it go. The fact that he asked you out to the pool means he thinks you and your cousin are close and maybe just wants you guys to stay close after the marriage. If this REALLY made you feel uncomfortable just talk to your cousin about it to see if he is like this with other chicks that she knows.

Answer 5

Stay far away from him. It's not right, and it's already obvious that he won't be faithful to your cousin. Don't get caught in a compromising situation with him, because things could escalate and cause all kinds of family problems. Talk with your cousin about this, tell her everything. That way you have nothing to hide. After that, just stay clear of him. He's nothing but trouble. Best of luck to you.............

Answer 6

He's a sicko!
You need to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting with your cousin and let her know that you love her and that you don't want to see her get hurt. She needs to wake up and realize that she is about to marry garbage. Be wary though that this might cause a rift in you all's relationship, but it is something that needs to be said. Some women try to flip the script on you by slipping into denial and leading themselves to believe that you -cousin- are the one with the problem and you are the one that is jealous of their relationship; ignore that crap! If you said that she is somewhat aware of how he carries on, it sounds like she has low self-eteem and she will nearly deal with anything in order to get married...she probablly feels like this will be her only opportunity. Trust me honey, that clown knows what type of self perception your cousin has, and he is going to use it to his advantage. Let her know that she needs to love herself enough to not accept the B.S. that he is trying to give her. If she marries him, she is going to be very miserable. Remember, warning always comes before destruction! She does not need get married for marriage's sake. After you tell her the aforementioned, you've done your part as a loved one. In the interim, stay out of that clown's path.

Answer 7

he was trying to get you to flirt back with him...if you would have done so then he would have seen it as a sign that you wished to carry it even further...if you would have and you were caught then he would have blamed you. You did the right thing by becoming angry; if you wish to take it a step farther then by all means tell your cousin about his behavior. Your other alternative is to loudly protest next time he openly flirts with you perhaps within earshot of your cousin.

Answer 8

I would say if it is uncomfortable to you then you should bring it to his attention. Let him know that it is certain things that he is doing to you that you don't agree of and if he can not come to an understanding then you should let your cousin know what is going because, if it is that easy for him to flirt with a family memeber in her face then he will goon doing other things. If you have any love for your cousin you should try to save her from that marriage.

Answer 9

I would first curse him out and tell him about hiself and if it continues i would go and talk to my cousin and let her know about everything that's going on,so he won't later try to flip it on you and tell her it was u. Your cousin doesn't need anyone like that

Answer 10

girl i go through the same thing and my cousin's fiancee even slaps me on the a$$ and my cousin doesnt sat nothing they probably wants a threesome