Help please im desperate about this relationship?

Question

my girl and i have been together 2 and a half years. We spent most days of that time together. even when we were in diffrent states for college, we kept loyal. So we finally transferred together and spent this whole year together which was fantastic. However, she moved home for the summer time and said she was leaving me. She said that over time she no longer loves me. SHe loves me...but shes not in love with me. Then come to find out the day she breaks up wtih me she Kisses this guy. This has been the worst week of my life, im trying to give her up but it is soo hard. I dont wany anyone else, we always planned on getting married, and she seems to be all i know anymore. I gave up so much for her and this just kills me inside. How can i stop calling her and stuff

Answer 1

I know this is very hard for you. I'm sure she's the first real love of your life. The best thing you can possibly do at this point is give her (and yourself) space. I know the thought of that is really painful, but you need to do that. You also need to stay as busy as you can. Give yourself some new routines and spend time doing things you love. You need to make that part all about you. It's hard to know what the ultimate outcome will be, but if she has space (without you pressuring her) she may just see what a wonderful situation she had with you and want it back. If that isn't the case, you'll be on your way towards a new life and a new perspective. Trust me, Tommy. Many of us have been through what you're going through. It hurts a lot right now, but you will make it through.

Answer 2

I don't think any advice right now will help u cause you will remain in this state for few week regardless u want to or not . Few things you can do to reduce the pain

1. Have a talk with her to ensure that you can't get her back . Ensure that there is a definate closure .

2. Do a relationship analysis . A relationship always fails due to fault of both the parties involved . Regardless of with girls tell you , always both of the people are responsable at some level . Ask your self fairly what you did right and wht u did wrong . If she is still ur friend then request her to do analysis of ur action and try to understand . Even if she is a B*I*T*C*H she will have good insight . Listen to them .

3. Remove every thing from your life that remind you of her . No need to be sensitive about her stuff and memories . If you can treasure the person then what good the treasuring of the memories will bring you.

4. Find a replacment for engagment in term of time . I m not recommending rebound gf . I am saying get hooked up to some thing . Not to bozz or girls or bars . Some thing healther or atleast not fatal . Like join gym , take karate and boxing classess {that did worked for me :) ] or worse come to worse start watching a lot and lot of movies but nothing romantic or chick flick . Old action pack guy stuff .


5. For 2-3 months keep away from dating scene . It will not change that much while you are away , get use to your own company and do a reflection on your life .

6. Hang arounds your friends . Make new friends . All kind of friends. Go interesting stuff . Friends provide the best support there is.

7. Eat healthy and live Healthy .

8. Once your friends thinks that you have your act togather then go back to the dating circus but take it slowly and gradually .

9. MOST OF ALL , TELL YOURSELF THIS THING : ALL WOMENS ARE NOT BAD , THE ACTION OF ONE DOES NOT MAKE OTHER TRAMPS . THEY NEED LOVE JUST LIKE YOU SO YOU SHOULD JUST LOVE THEM.

Answer 3

She gave you the old ...love you...but not in love with you... response.
Whether or not she is aware of it(and as painful as it might be 4 you) she probably had this guy in mind 4 a while - the fact that she kisses him on the same day she broke up with you.
This is a clear message that it is over between both of you.

Break-ups are never easy to handle, but I hope you find the strength to move on.
I hope that one day she'll come crawling back to you and you'll use 'her words' to let her know that its OVER!

LISTEN - The more you persist the more she will think you are clingy, and try to push you away.
DONT make her think (or realise) that you are desperate. Dont even call her.Your complete absence from the picture will make her think about you..Even if she gives you some attention, (which she may eventually do,just to feel you out)dont get carried away...

Answer 4

You have to first realize that Love, is about the unexpected in life. You can't plan on your future with something that is intangible. It's possible that she became bored with the relationship, and maybe she simply is growing into her own. You have to give her the time and space she needs for her to see what and who she truly wants in life. You also should do the same. Just because you don't want to date someone else or become friends with other girls, doesn't mean it won't happen. That's out of your control, when you meet someone unexpectedly. My best advise is to keep busy, and always remember how much you both love each other, because that will get you through everyday. Carry all the good memories, and the things she's taught to better yourself

Answer 5

Sorry about your breakup. This is the sad but important part of dating....to find out if the relationship is strong enough to endure marriage. I've been there too. The worst thing to do right now is to keep calling her. This will just push her farther away. Give her some time and space so she can think about her decision. She may see that she does want to be with you. But there are no guarantees! Stay busy, hang out with friends, or take a vacation. Time does heal wounds.

Answer 6

From what I understand she didn't really love you , I'm not trying to be hurtful ok. It's just that it seems to me that she had already wandered while being with you. Because there is no way that she just met the guy she kissed the same day that she left you . I know it's not easy because I.ve gone though something some what similar. I reminded myself that I deserved better, and that life is to short to dwell on someone so undeserving. I also reminded myself that what this person did to me will come back to them in the long run. Let go, life is way to short to be sad trust me I know. Go out have fun with friends stop dwelling on what happened. Remember she's the one who messed up not you, I hope that helped some hang in there you'll be just fine.

Answer 7

Sounds like you need a hug..you know the old saying "set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be" Well you should put a time limit on how long you want to waste your time waiting..You have already wasted 2 and 1/2 years...then i would just try to find other things to keep me busy and check out some of the other girls on the block..there is always someone. Good Luck

Answer 8

I have been in the same situation before and may be able to help you. Just because she doesnt love you, doesnt mean the end of the world. Be a Man! I know you love her but when she doesnt appreciate your love, Y bother! Imagine , walking down the aisle and one fine day this happens! so be happy this happened well before! Things could have been worse!. So be normal, try meeting new ppl., indulge in new activities and so on. I know the thought of some other guy with your gf will kill you, but hey this is life and you have to learn to live with it! A person you might be interested tomorrow may be somebody ex. Carry on things as usual and divert you attention to something else. Enjoy the single life!

Answer 9

you must just stop calling. let go. the pain will last for only so long. if she loves you and it is meant to be she will come back. you are tearing yourself up. whatever she does, if you really love her you will back off and let her go. learn from this and do not be so willing to make all the sacrifices. we all must give in a relationship and not knowing what you sacrificed, i cannot say whether it was too much. good luck. you say you want nobody else but you REALLY need to find someone to be with while you get over this person. just do not bore or drive the new one off with bitterness or rehashing the old relationship. love hurts and losing love hurts worse. stay realistic, you were fine before her you will be fine again in the near future if you allow yourself to heal.

Answer 10

If you really feel that way, tell her the door's always open but then move on yourself. I know it hurts REAL bad but it's reality.
I've been married three times and getting ready to marry again. Life goes on.
How about this: I've had custody of two little girls all their life. In the 17th year, my oldest daughter decided that she wanted to spend her last year as a child with her Mom who she really never knew. I told her that she could, though it hurt to let her go. I am the one who raised her all her life. Her Mom never even sent a birthday present let alone child support. With the promise of a car, which she still hasn't gotten; and a job, which she still wasn't allowed to get... she left. I told her the door is always open and when she realizes what she had not to be too embarrassed to come back.