met a fit guy at butlins really liked him spoke on the phone for months then i invited him to mine,to have a bit of harmless fun but he pushed me for more i said it wouldnt work cos he lived too far he kept comming down at weekends always on the phone to me 5 hours at a time after 3 months passed he told me he fell for me and said i was scared of commitment kept asking how i felt bout him when i finally told him i really liked him he went cold on me and said he was scared of commitment. men are a waste of space lol he is back in touch should i make him suffer then blow him out?
2006-07-10 04:18:14 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't waste time playing games or making him suffer. Just see how it goes and enjoy whatever he has to offer in his own right. It sounds like you could do with the space yourself. Wasn't there a suggestion that *you* were scared of commitment at one point? It sounds to me like you were perfectly happy with the "harmless fun"!...
Totally agree with Fluke and Ollie btw. (I think it's true that we pigeon-hole men as "all-the-same" far too much and that being afraid of getting hurt can sometimes be mistaken for a more straight-forward form of commitment phobia.)
Added: Having re-read the details, I do think this guy sounds a bit eratic. He pushed you to say how you felt and then backed off. Perhaps he is playing power games. Perhaps he gets a kick out of the fantasy of a woman apparently demanding commitment that he can't give and engineered the situation to seem that way. Or maybe he genuinely only likes a woman if she's unobtainable and loses interest once he's got her.
IMO, all that stuff is a waste of your time. It either indicates he has very low self esteem (the classic "I wouldn't want to be in any club that would have me as a member") or that he gets a kick out of getting people to do or say what he wants and then dropping them. Or perhaps he's old-fashioned and expects to play some convoluted game where the woman has to be willing to constantly run away from him. Obviously, it depends what you're into but I personally find that sort of behaviour very tedious.
However, his behaviour could simply be a sign that he's unsure about whether a long-distance thing could work, so if you really like him, you could give him the benefit of the doubt and, as I said above, enjoy the situation as it is, along with the freedom that comes with it. He knows where you are if he decides he's ready for something more long-term. He'd just better not leave it too late... You are, after all, a free agent just like him!
2006-07-20 10:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by CJ 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think the only reason men are scared of commitment is because they aren't with the person they want to be committed to. Sorry, not trying to be mean, but thats the way I've seen it happen.
2016-03-26 23:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think men are scared of commitment. But I do believe they are scared of getting hurt. Lots of men I know react very strongly to breakups and arguments. More so then women. Maybe this fear of rejection taints their views on relationships, and is perceived as fear of commitment?
2006-07-10 04:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by Fluke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah don't make him suffer, it's really hard when there's so much distance. Maybe he wasn't afraid of commitment in general, but he was afraid of being committed to someone he wouldn't get to see as much as he wanted to. I'm not saying what he did was right, but I think I understand. Think about it: being in love with someone you can hardly ever see. What's a greater pain than that?
2006-07-10 04:22:46 · answer #4 · answered by pieninja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Commiting yourself to someone is a big step and if he's the one for you wait for him girl or if he is just a puch over move on don't waste your time on him. But think about it and are you ready to make a commitment yourself?
2006-07-15 03:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are not scared of commitment just we are scared of losing somone special to some one else
2006-07-23 17:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why bother sounds like the whole expereince was a waste of valuablr oxygen
2006-07-21 07:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by cas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not just men I'm scared of commitment 2! my reason been hurt in the past don't want to feel that again.
2006-07-10 04:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by blondebirdcrazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ones scared by commitment are not men, they are still boys!!!
2006-07-10 04:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by Georgie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not all of us are i was engaged to my girl a month after meeting her and weve been together four years, its right when right. being scared of commitment is another way of saying i just wanted to bend you over sweetheart sorry
2006-07-10 04:26:19 · answer #10 · answered by craig 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋