Should I be guilted into religion?

Question

My parents are very religious and I was raised that way as well, but I'm not into it the way they are. I don't hate it and I believe in it, I'm just not practicing the same way they are. They make me feel SO guilty about it and it's caused a lot of fights and strains on my relationship with my family and i HATE that because family is very important to me. But I feel that I shouldn't be guilted into religion, that I should want to do it of my own free will and not because they want me to. And I also know that if I go back to the faith with them I'll have to either leave my boyfriend who I also love very much or marry him WAY before we're ready (because just because you love someone doesn't mean you're ready to marry them. I'm only 20). Please help! I don't know what to do and I'm incredibly stressed out about it.

I'd have to marry my boyfriend so that we could both practice the religion (he was rasied the same as me). I don;t want to name what religion it is.

Answer 1

Lets face it, family can make anything tough, especially if you don't want to do what they want you to. You're 20, and you're old enough to make your own decisions. Being forced into religion is completely against most religious doctrines. I know you won't win a battle with your family, so instead I think standing your ground and letting them know how their pressuring makes you feel. Let them know too that you love your boyfriend and that nothing they say can make you feel otherwise. Be firm, but not stubborn. You'll get through it. Else you could always plant a stash of marijuana in your brother's sock drawer. That should take the heat off you for a while.

Answer 2

No. You shouldn't be "guilted" into religion. You were undoubtedly raised under the premise that Paul preached when he said that parents were to "Train up a child in the way it should go; when it grows old it won't depart." Still, once you reach a certain age of accountability, they cannot tell you or make you stay faithful. You are responsible and will be held accountable to God for your action (or inaction) concering the word of God and you obedience of the same. They can only hope and pray that you stay faithful and WITNESS to you when they see things go wrong with you. They can't cram it down your throat or it will strain relationships that were built over a lifetime! I hope everyone concerned is able to work everything out.

Answer 3

It sounds to me like you feel you are stuck between a rock and hard place. You really have to do what you feel is right for you because if you don't, you will end up unhappy which is what you are trying to avoid in the first place. Don't allow yourself to be rushed into a decision you aren't ready to make about your religion or your boyfriend. Look at all the consequences of all the possible solutions and if you are willing to live with one, if it will make you happy, then pick it. If not, then keep looking for another way even if it means leaving them all behind you. It's good to honor, love, and respect your parents and if they honor, love, and respect you they will want you to lead your own life happily. Also, at 20, you might actually be in love with your boyfriend and feel he is the one, but remember the price you will have to pay with whatever you decide... God speed.

Answer 4

It is unfortunate that your family has put you in this position. Many religions are finding themselves falling to the wayside as our society and culture becomes more educated. The internet has given us access to so much information and gives us the ability to study and research virtually anything. It appears that you have grown into a person who has developed their own ideology. You are on the right track by being your own person. Never let anyone else make a decision for you that you yourself has to live with. In the end, your own happiness is the most important and you're the one who must look into the mirror each day and know that you are happy. Honest differences of opinion should never become between true friends or family.

Answer 5

NO, you should not be guilted into any religion. I am sure God would not want that, that is why HE gave us free will. At 20 years old, you are an adult and should be allowed to choose whatever religion you choose. And by all means, DO NOT get married until you are ready. No offense, but your parents should be ashamed of theirselves. They need to trust that they raised you right and you will do the right thing. The Bible does say to train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old, they will not depart from it. God bless you.

Answer 6

First let me say that I am not religious, but let me try to help. It would seem to me that if you truly believe in God, and carry Him in your heart, then He will know this. Belief stems from the faith and respect you hold fore Him, and respect cannot be forcibly taken, but only freely given. If it is taken, then it is not respect, but fear. Also, as a Supreme Being, He will know how you truly feel, with or without the trappings and ceremonies. If you give Him your heart and soul freely, He will be happy.
As for your family, well, it would seem you have two choices. Stay with them and be forced to worship in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, and never really live your own life, or strike out on your own, and hope that God shows them that you are deserving of their love and respect, regardless of whether you share their opinions and views. In the long run, I think you will be much happier choosing the second path, regardless of whether it works out with your boyfriend or not. Forced religious observance is not a recipe for long-standing belief, only ruin.

Answer 7

Don't stress...I know it is your own parents but they do not have the right in God's eyes to guilt you into their religion. God is showing you the big picture. He wants you to see what is really going on and how it makes you feel. All you have to do is believe Jesus died for you and you are completely free...God does not want you to be bound by anything on earth (religion or churches), It is stated in the bible that using guilt is a tool of satan. They trying to manipulate you and control you when God is trying to pull you to freedom. Follow Him...he will show you the way.

Answer 8

Just as many things are in life religion is a choice. You choose to believe, you choose to worship, you choose to fellowship. I am a Christian and I do not believe that religion of any denomination should be forced upon anyone. You are an adult and you can choose to disagree with your parents. I will bet that they will not love you any less because of your choices.

Instead of arguing with your parents, simply sit them down and tell them that you have something to "tell" them and it is not open for discussion. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I f you are the adult that you say you are then be adult enough to stand for what you believe in even if it means moving out of their house (if you already haven't).

Independence comes with being adult and making your own life choices. That includes not getting married until you are certain that you are ready to settle down. Don't be forced into making a mistake. Continue to pray and believe; make your own choices in life. I hope that this helps. I will pray for you as well.

Answer 9

I learned that you and only you can decide your faith. I Know this from experience. I tried to go by what other people wanted me to believe. I was a wreck, completely not happy. I believe God does not care in which way you love him just as long as you love him. That is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I don't follow any certain religion and I am happy with that. I know god is there. I know god loves me and I love him. Your family will come around just stand up for your self and stand your ground. The purpose in life is not to go around doing what other people want you to do, believing what other people want you to believe. My husband is part of an organized religion, yet he accepts me for who I Am and I accept him for who he is. It is not for anyone to judge but god. Family is hard. My family sucks but they still love me (i know). Just follow your heart on this one. Faith should not be about guilt. Faith is within YOU. Not in a book or a church. You can find god everywhere.

Answer 10

I believe you are right. You cannot be forced into a religion. Sometimes it takes a while for you to realize which religion you want to take part in, and your religion is your choice. This may be hard, but if your parents don't support you, then move out. Don't marry someone if you aren't ready.