My boyfriend found an im (from the saved archives) from a guy I used to date. In the im message i was being flirty. Then at the end of the message he wrote i miss you and i will talk to you later baby. The weird thing is that I didnt write the im. I wasnt home when it was written. All the evidence points to me. I didnt write it though. Its hard for my boyfriend to believe me. He says that he still loves me and he dosent want to break up. He is just hurt that I was talking to my ex behind his back. I have been trying to explain that I didnt write him. Its sounds like bullshit I know. First he wanted to take a break to clear his head. Then, he calls me last night and says he dosent want to take a break and wants to see me. I saw him this morning, I can still tell he is still upset about the situation. I dont know whether to still give him space or not. I dont know how I can earn his trust back or believe me. Can someone please give me some advice on what to do?
2006-07-10 03:32:50 · 6 answers · asked by cutelil_bubble21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, if he was checking your archives, sounds like there wasn't a lot of trust there to start.
Can you find out who did the IM? if you can prove it wasn't you, there isn't an issue.
If you can't, you need to ask him what he wants. Tell him you dont want to end things, but you are not sure how to handle the situation and you want his trust. Ask him what you can do to make him comfortable and trust you. Tell him if you want, that you'll get rid of that screen name to ensure that your ex wont contact you again.
If you want to stay with him, you need to talk to him and ask what he wants from you to feel comfortable.
2006-07-10 03:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a very similar situation... I had a blog online that I wrote a lot of things about my life in... and I accidentally sent an e-mail to my boyfriend (that I meant to send to a friend in another state) the blog address. I have never cheated on him, but I did write about situations that I have had with guys in the past - and thoughts like wondering what life would be like if I were with the other guys instead of him. He was VERY upset and even wanted to break up. We had only been together for a short time, but REALLY knew it was a great relationship. He acted very weird for about a week. During that time I just kept assuring him that I wanted to be with him and that if he trusted me he wouldn't need to worry about it. I did sweet things for him like baked him cookies and rented a movie he would like to watch (rather than forcing him to watch the usual chick flick) - he eventually came around and realized I do care a lot about him and that he did trust me. Make sure you communicate with your b/f... the best way to get through it is to talk about it.
2006-07-10 11:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by southrnchck22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to go with the flow and give him time. Although he doesn't want it, he may still need space to get over it or its going to show and your relationship will be awkward. You should get to the bottom of who was really on your computer at the time....not only to resolve the issue with your boyfriend but also to make sure someone is messing around in other personal files on your computer. Good luck...
2006-07-10 10:38:59 · answer #3 · answered by JusME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and talk to the guy. explain what happened (if it wasn't you) tell him that to look at the IM and see what day and time it was. If you have prof that it was not you than you need to let in be know to him. I am sure he still loves you its just heartbreaking to see a letter from "supposedly" your GF talking to her EX. I understand where he is coming from but you need to seriously sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. Good Luck.
2006-07-10 10:39:30 · answer #4 · answered by BigDaddy82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think only time will fix this situation. But as he forgive you, so you just have to not make the same mistake again.
As for the break. I think you have to give him a break if he said he doesnt want it. Be happy to make him happy and forget this.
2006-07-10 10:38:40 · answer #5 · answered by Naomi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to say it girl,but hell probley always have that mistrust now,im not saying i dont beleve you, but who else could of wrote it, you can see why he dosent trust you, but if theres real love there,he will trust later, good luck
2006-07-10 10:37:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋