I am seriously hurting over a recent breakup. I feel empty. I feel sad, and angry. I'm not feeling happy whatsoever. My life it at a very positive point right now. Things are going well for me. But I don't want to continue to succeed alone. I can't even think of my interests at this point to even keep me busy, I feel somewhat deperate... any advice?
2006-07-10 03:20:36 · 44 answers · asked by brighteyezinva 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i don't think anybody on this site is going to help you solve that type of problem, ma'am. find a therapists. they are here to help you through situations like this one. good luck!
2006-07-10 03:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That emptiness is part of the grieving process. You have to feel it, but you don't have to live it. The feeling it is one of the many things in our lives that shape who and what we are. Jumping into a rebound is probably not a real good idea,it keeps you from taking time to evaluate who and where you are at this point in your life. Take some time(however much it takes)to sort through the baggage and get rid of those ideas and other crap that is not needed at this time in your life. Exactly what those things maybe probably wont be easy to separate,but whoever said life was easy more than likely chose not to deal with somethings in their lives. Their choice. After incidents like these we find new strengths and weaknesses in us. That is called the pain of growth, so feel it, look at it, and remember whatever your particular lessons from this experience are so you can continue to grow and fulfill whatever your purpose here is.
You said that your life is at a very positive point right now. Grab it hold on to it and ride it for all you can and chances are you'll find a happiness better than the last.
So grab hold of family and friends that love you for who & what you are and hang on for what could be one hell of a ride and in the end you will find that you had more control of the outcome than you thought.
2006-07-10 04:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by "uponthesoapboxagain" 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I often use the phrase "This too shall pass" as a sort of mantra. The body heals itself... and that includes emotional and spiritual healing. I recommend getting back into the business of living as much as possible in those down times you once spent with your significant other. I know you say it's hard to think of your interests... so don't. Think of the interests of your friends, of others.
Who have you not spent much time with lately? Can you throw a party for someone? Maybe you can help a friend with a pet project, or maybe you can do some volunteer work... all those options would keep you busy, keep you positive, and would not involve heavy self-searching... just the opposite. You'd be focusing on other people, and sometimes that's food for the soul.
Another mantra of sorts that I repeat to myself is: "You can't think yourself into good living; you have to live yourself into good thinking." In other words, get out there and do the next right thing, even if you feel like you're faking it. The mind will follow.
Hang in there! :)
2006-07-10 03:28:07 · answer #3 · answered by JStrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I here you! Been there and done that. No matter how difficult things are you must keep your head up and think positive. You need to love yourself for who you are. Everything begins with you yourself. Don't feel you have to have a person in your life right now to be happy. Make yourself happy and get out there and do the types of activities you enjoy. A social endowment is the best thing for you right now. Be around good people and positive outings. This is where you will meet the right person in time. You need to mourn your loss of your passed love one. Keep yourself looking the best you can be and smile always. Before you know it Mr. Right will come along! Hope this advise will improve your life, it certainly did for me. Cocoa
2006-07-10 03:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there. there's a book out there called "simplify your life", I read it and that's what I did. Dump the luggage, the door is open for you now. Be who you really are and enjoy the NOW. Someone will capture your heart when you least expect it. Nobody can make you happy, YOU make you happy. Try to meet a new person everyday, shake hands, share a smile, razz a little, just try to bring a wee bit of light into someones daily grind and you'll feel better. The more you smile the less you'll hurt. Oh!, and put all those expectations of a fairytale relationship in the trash.
2006-07-10 03:42:04 · answer #5 · answered by twostories 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time to heal. Break ups do hurt. You are not alone. Remember you are worthy of having someone that loves you. This guy isn't that person. Keep doing the things that make you happy and that are important to you. The right person will walk into your life and he will love you and be as passionate about you as you are him. It may be months, or even years, in the meantime be true to yourself, keep living life to the fullest. Go to the gym, read books, make new friends, create a yahoo personals profile, have fun with being single. Before you know it you won't be thinking about ths guy 24/7. Good luck girlfriend!
2006-07-10 03:50:02 · answer #6 · answered by bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am probably not the person you are looking to answer this, but I so know the feeling. I am 18 years old and me and my boyfriend dated for 2 years. After me and my boyfriend broke up, I would sit around and be like, why am I sitting here doing nothing. I was sad and alone and cried a lot. I live in a really small town (500 ppl) so we practically always knew what eachother were doing, which hurt. When he would be out with people he knew that I would be jealous of, I would be so pissed. One night, I wanted to know if he was home but I didn't want to drive by one time and then go home, so I decided to go for a jog (which I never do) and I went by his house. Now I jog all of the time. Whenever I feel sad, or alone, or mad, I go for a jog. It feels good, especially when he stopped one day and talked to me. He asked me if I had abs of steel yet and I just looked at him and smirked and I was like, "wouldn't you like to know." I didn't let him see of course, but it felt good that he knew that he was missing out on something. So, I guess I could have just said this at the beginning... find a hobby. Something to do when you are thinking about him to get your mind off of him, something that makes you feel good. It will help you out in the end, and who knows, maybe you will pick up someone better along the way. It worked for me!
2006-07-10 03:42:10 · answer #7 · answered by tinkerbell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answers about finding God are good advice. The thing is that you don't want to rush out and find some new guy, when you feel like this. When you feel down and depressed, that's when all the loser guys look like they could be Mister Right just because you think you need a guy in your life. You don't need someone to make you feel happy. You need to learn how to be happy with yourself, so that you can move on and find the right person. Just remember the good times, be thankful for them, and move on. It takes time, but it's better than rushing into a relationship you don't want just because they are there.
2006-07-10 03:28:34 · answer #8 · answered by Mustang L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Rest assured this is a temporary situation and will change at the moment you least expect it. The fates are just playing with you a bit right now.
2. Embrace your loneliness -- this is a great chance to do all sorts of things you couldn't before.
3. This is a great opportunity. Use the time for personal development, and you'll reap the rewards in spades.
4. If none of the above work, call me.
5. If, on the other hand, this advice does work, call me. :)
2006-07-10 03:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by profdave99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a bit sad over the break up. Try and find some fun in thinks you do. Try dating and let the them know you are looking to get out and that is it. I was feeling the same way years ago I dated a women for a wile and we both knew it was just tot get out and have some fun. It turned out to be a great relationship.
We are not together now, but that is OK. Hope this little bit helps.
2006-07-10 03:30:33 · answer #10 · answered by Robert M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel, at the end of a good relationship you feel like its the end and that you do not want to go on, as if everything is pointless and people who mean well just irritate.
You have the right to grieve a little to feel sorry for yourself and to feel lost and desperately upset but you should also see that you have a lot to offer, to yourself and to others and when the time is right, you will be happy and love again
2006-07-10 03:27:47 · answer #11 · answered by Nimbus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋