What is usually the "correct" amount of money you should give to your co-worker who invited you to her wedding

Question

My fiancee and I went, and we gave them $200. Couldn't afford it, but we didnt' want to seem cheap. We also live in the NYC tri-state area where the costs of weddings are a WEE bit more than most other places.

I hope I wasn't being "cheap"!

Opinions?

Thanks in advance!

By the way, it's not like we are going to starve or not be able to pay our mortgage because of what we gave...sorry to give you that impression.

I was also very close with my co-worker too.

Answer 1

Wow, that was very generous of you guys! I was going to say anywhere from $50-$100.

Answer 2

Etiquette is usually the cost of the meal for each within reason. In your case $200 was gracious. Even though in your area a wedding costs about $150-200 as person you could only afford $100 for each of you was within reason. Don't fret. Your friend valued your presence above what her parents wanted to spend on the reception. Why should you have to pay for a reception that included fresh delicacies flown in from around the world just so her parents could impress their friends? Being in the business, I have seen ridiculous amounts of money spent on decorations and entertainment that would be better spent on a down payment of a house. We had a wedding recption recently that cost the bride's parents $85,000. I think the lobster were fed caviar before they were flown in from a certain island off of Nova Scotia.

Answer 3

You are being generous in my eyes. In my region the average wedding gift is $50.00. Cheap? PAH-LEEZE. Cheap is a twenty dollar bill in a 69 cent card. Cheap is showing up with a $10 gift for a $20 per head dinner.

Never gift what you can't afford to impress anyone. Live within your means or you will live to regret it. If you can't afford an event, don't go. Just because you got an invitation doesn't mean you have to send a gift- and that's NOT being cheap either.

Just always remember to RSVP either way ;)

Answer 4

How close are you to this co-worker? Are you best of friends? Even for NY, this seems excessive, especially since you say you could not afford it. Live within your means, child, and don't put so much into appearances. Would your co-worker feel awkard if she know you gave what you could not afford? How would you feel if you were the bride and knew the person couldn't affort the gift given?

Answer 5

That sounds like a more than generous gift. I wouldn't worry about being cheap at all! In the future though, if you are really worried about being seen as cheap, it might be better to get a gift rather than send cash. It always makes me uncomfortable to give a dollar amount, I prefer to actually get a gift.

Answer 6

Depends on the wedding- the gift is suppose to pay for the Meal and I would say $200 is pretty standard and normal.
I live in NJ and that's what in normally excepted of a gift from a couple.

Answer 7

$0. I *never* give cash. While generous, I prefer to show the person I took the time to shop for a gift and to consider something they might need.

Since it's already done, I think your gift was an excellent dollar amount, especially for where you live. It seems about right.

Answer 8

I think what you gave was perfect. $100 per person is a good amount even in the NYC area. Plus, most people are just glad you came and wouldn't call a true friend cheap.

Answer 9

$200 was a VERY nice gift. A $100 gift card probably would have been sufficient. If anybody says you were cheap, they have a problem.

Answer 10

That seems very generous. In the future I'd check with other co-workers to see what seems average for your area.