my daughter wants to walk to school with her friend she is 10 years old what do you think should i let her?

Question

worried mum

Answer 1

hey ive got a ten year old as well. my daughter wanted to walk to school alone i said no but i did allow her to come home from school alone as at least i know what time she is due home, and there are other parents walking the same route. it is a long day if you dont know your child has made it safely. and its a compromise. isnt it awful when they want independance its really scary.

Answer 2

No, No, No! Not on her own - with friends and only if it is a short walk.
10 yrs of age is the age that a girl is most likely to be snatched by a paedophile as it is the age where a girl is not a little girl anymore but not yet a woman.
I understand the fact she may want her independence but unless she is going in a group to and from school it is too risky. Also ensure she knows never to take short cuts across isolated fields/car parks/alley ways/woods etc., all prime places for being taken without anyone to raise the alarm. Paedophiles also watch these routes for regular 'human traffic'.
Unfortunately there are too many strange people around for you to not stay on high alert - especially with a young girl.

Answer 3

Is the school very far? Are there many/any roads to cross? How well does your daughter cross roads right now? What is her road sense? Is she being bullied at school? do you know why? Do you think she is reasonably mature? Does her friend walk to or from school alone already? Do a risk assessment along these lines to reassure yourself. Try to do it without pre-judging the situation. Get your daughter to cross roads in the company of other friends and their parents to begin with. Remeber they are going to need some freedom in the not-too-distant future and need to start to get used to walking out without a parent in tow.

I let my son start walking to school - alone - when he started yr6 (he was 10 by then) after he'd spent the summer term of yr 5 walking home from school so I knew he was able to do it. Didn't stop me going out onto the street to look for him mind. However when he asked to walk up town I said no. And kept saying it until he was 11 and going to secondary school.

I've realised that I do have to trust him. He needs to start to feel he's independent (well, he is 13 now so he really does now).

After all, streets at school time usually have other kids on them and other parents. Also bullies are a worry: make sure you know which route she will be taking and check that things are okay when she gets home. Talk to the school if bullies are a problem.

I know there are worries about 'strange men' but I worry about traffic far more. It is regrettable but true that most abuse to children comes from their family, other close relatives or adults whom they already know in a social context. Whilst there are paedophiles without family around, they are comparatively rare. All the cases I have come across ( I work for social services) have had nothing to do with 'stranger danger'.

Answer 4

I have the same problem. The thing is, we want to keep them safe, but also get them used to some independence before they start high school. Most parents I know start letting their kids walk to school in the summer term of Year 6. However, there are some that allow their children to walk much younger. These tend to be the children who live really close to the school. I think I'll stick with the summer term in Year 6 rule. Even then, I'm sure I will feel the need to phone the school just to check she'd got there!

Answer 5

That would depend on a couple of factors.

1. How far is the school
2. Are there any main heavy traffic roads they have to cross.
3. How is the law and order in general in the area they have to pass through to reach school.
4. Is your daughter's friend a sensible trustworthy child.

Only after taking all these points into consideration AND talking it over with the friend's parents can you make a rational decision.

(your baby is growing UP and wants to spread her wings.I know EXACTLY how you feel. Have a 10 yr old son who is asking for his independence now to do things he thinks he is old enough to do and I feel he is too young for.)

Answer 6

1 Walk with her on the first few walks and make sure that they are doing it safely and then after a few walks tail them. See if they do anything bad. If they don't then let them walk together.

2 You could see if you make a grown-up walk with them. Kds there age should not be walking alone.

3 See if there is a safe route that they can follow. The shorter the better but not if the people are tough,cruel people. Make sure that they are in a ice part of the place.

Answer 7

i used to walk to school when i was 10 it was only 10mins away only 9 years back. its tricky cause theres so many nutters out there. is she street wise i was at ten if she isnt though it probabley wont be a good idea. maybe let her a couple of days but drive or walk back from her just to see how she gets on if she does alright it will put your mind at rest and wont worrie as much in the future i hope this helps

Answer 8

No i think she is far 2 young. I'm 25 and my mum wouldnt let me go on my own until i was 15!! And with all the weirdos roaming the street it wouldnt be wise. If anything did happen u would regret it its not worth it. What u could do is let her walk with her friend but go with them and walk behind just out of earshot of on the other side of the road.

Answer 9

I don't blame you for being worried, it shows you are a good mum who cares about her daughter. I would talk to other mothers in your area of similar aged children (and maybe a little bit older) to get their views. I cannot offer anymore advice as I don't know your area, your daughter, or her friend. Only you can make that decision (with her father as well?).

Answer 10

If it is safe for her friend it is safe for her. Why not talk it over with the OTHER parent[s] It has nothing to do with how 'safe' an area is. I let my boy walk [almost a mile] to school on his own at 9 through a UK 'sink estate'. He is now 16, full of independent confidence but deadly cautious, street wise and as sharp as a razor. Go with your own instincts on this and ignore the sanctimonious prats who would swathe their brats in cotton wool

Answer 11

be a bit carefull with this one if it was couple of other girls then yes in a group, but if its only one girl what happenen if she is ill and doesnt turn up your daughter will have to go on her own this day and age i would think twice unless you can get the other childs mother to ring you if she isnt going in .tell your daughter she is growing into a young lady kids arent soft these days and you concerned about her saftey good luck hope this helps am a father so i know what you are worried about