I want my friends children in the wedding but my mother thinks that it would be a burden on her but my friend?

Question

says that it won't be a problem..My mother is really stressing this. What do I do?

Answer 1

it is your wedding and you should do what pleases you

Answer 2

This is your wedding! Why would it be a burden on your mother? If they are your friends children, then your friend is responsible for them, not your mother. Most weddings have small children and they do fine. Many times, the childish things that the children do, add to the joy of the occasion. Just tell your mother to make up her mind, not to allow the children to bother her, as she is not the one responsible for them.
The biggest determining factor is that it is YOUR wedding, not your mother's! If the children don't bother you, they shouldn't bother anyone else. Do what you want and don't worry about what other people want. I know that is hard, but you don't want to look back with regrets because you didn't have the wedding you wanted.

Answer 3

Is it you getting married or your Mum? You, right. Well Mum are pretty resilient when it comes to things like this, you are just going to have to put your foot down and tell her that the kiddies are going to be part of the wedding and that's that. After all, it may be a serious occasion but surely everyone wants to have fun too? Kiddies always add a certain amount of fun to a wedding and so what if they don't do exactly what they are supposed to do - they will lighten up the whole affair and make everyone smile.

Go for it and I hope it all works out for you. May you be the happiest couple ever!

Answer 4

Hello,
Wedding are expensive. How many kids does she have? Is she single mother? How much are the dresses or tux going to run her? And do not forget the cost of shoe and hair appt.
So, maybe if you ask them you can find really cheap dresses that they can wear again or offer the help with the expences. That is probably you mother's concern. Is your friend in the wedding? She may want to have them in your wedding but is not thinking of the cost to her.

Answer 5

If u have asked your friend and your friends being truthful then ignore your mother......she's the one creating the problem....it shouldn't be any of your mom's business anyways to be stressing and if it would be a burden to your friend to her the children in the wedding wouldn't your friend have said something....ask your friend again about it and if she doesn't have a problem(is your mom thinking she won't be able to afford for her kids to be in your wedding?)If so your friend should have been strait with ya!!!

Answer 6

First of all, I'm sure that your mother is not trying to be mean or be a pain - she's probably really trying to help. That being said, you couls always ask the your friend once more if it would be a burden (even tell her why - tell her you just want to reassure your mom that she's not being put out). Then tell your mom that your friend is fine with it and that it's important to you to have those children as the flower girl/ring bearer/whatever you are using them as because you are close to them. I'm sure once your mom realizes this is important to you she'll back off.

Answer 7

Maybe there is another reason your mother hasn't told you about?In any case,this is your wedding,have who you want in it. If what you want causes a financial problem for your friend,then pay for what you want yourself.Weddings are personal and special,have the kind of wedding you want if you can afford it. Simple is just as good as extravagant.

Answer 8

Your secondary question should be this: What does your mother know that your friend isn't telling you?

Could your friend be financially strapped but to embarrassed to tell you? Does your mother know something terrible but is skirting the issue?

Maybe your mother is just trying to be kind so you don't burden your friend with having to buy expensive dresses and trinkets.

You need to ask both your mother and your friend more direct questions.

Answer 9

Whose wedding is this? Children bring an innocence and joy to a wedding. Weddings should not be stressful...it is, after all, only a day.

Answer 10

it is your day, and you want it to be as perfect as possible. maybe your mom is worried that your friend won't get to enjoy her part in your day fully, if she has to tend to her children and make sure they stick with the program. you should take into consideration the ages of the children, because very young children can be unpredictable. my young grandson was supposed to be ring bearer in his uncle's wedding. he did not like being in the tux, and got tired and grouchy as well. he could not be talked into participating at all. after much loud fussing , with tears, he fell asleep in a chair in the church. his father was in the wedding as well, and had to try to cajole him. i think everyone was relieved when he fell asleep. they did not have a ring bearer that day, but everyone got through it, and it was a most beautiful wedding. talk it over with your friend again, and tell her you really need her to be honest with you. she may just want to give you everything you want, because she is your friend. best wishes !

Answer 11

Its your wedding. If you want the kids and the parent agrees go for it. Tell your mom choosing your wedding party is something you can handle yourself. She'll have to opportunity to help with other things.