What is the false self in narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder?

Question

Keep reading about false self, true self but can't wrap my head around it, what exactly are these two, especially the false self?

Answer 1

Once formed and functioning, the False Self stifles the growth of the True Self and paralyses it. Henceforth, the True Self is virtually non-existent and plays no role (active or passive) in the conscious life of the narcissist. It is difficult to "resuscitate" it, even with psychotherapy.

This substitution is not only a question of alienation, as Horney observed. She said that because the Idealised (=False) Self sets impossible goals to the narcissist, the results are frustration and self hate which grow with every setback or failure. But the constant sadistic judgement, the self-berating, the suicidal ideation emanate from the narcissist's idealised, sadistic, Superego regardless of the existence or functioning of a False Self.

There is no conflict between the True Self and the False Self.

First, the True Self is much too weak to do battle with the overbearing False. Second, the False Self is adaptive (though maladaptive). It helps the True Self to cope with the world. Without the False Self, the True Self would be subjected to so much hurt that it will disintegrate. This happens to narcissists who go through a life crisis: their False Ego becomes dysfunctional and they experience a harrowing feeling of annulment.

The False Self has many functions. The two most important are:

It serves as a decoy, it "attracts the fire". It is a proxy for the True Self. It is tough as nails and can absorb any amount of pain, hurt and negative emotions. By inventing it, the child develops immunity to the indifference, manipulation, sadism, smothering, or exploitation – in short: to the abuse – inflicted on him by his parents (or by other Primary Objects in his life). It is a cloak, protecting him, rendering him invisible and omnipotent at the same time.
The False Self is misrepresented by the narcissist as his True Self. The narcissist is saying, in effect: "I am not who you think I am. I am someone else. I am this (False) Self. Therefore, I deserve a better, painless, more considerate treatment." The False Self, thus, is a contraption intended to alter other people's behaviour and attitude towards the narcissist.
These roles are crucial to survival and to the proper psychological functioning of the narcissist. The False Self is by far more important to the narcissist than his dilapidated, dysfunctional, True Self.

The two Selves are not part of a continuum, as the neo-Freudians postulated. Healthy people do not have a False Self which differs from its pathological equivalent in that it is more realistic and closer to the True Self.

It is true that even healthy people have a mask [Guffman], or a persona [Jung] which they consciously present to the world. But these are a far cry from the False Self, which is mostly subconscious, depends on outside feedback, and is compulsive.

The False Self is an adaptive reaction to pathological circumstances. But its dynamics make it predominate, devour the psyche and prey upon both the True Self. Thus, it prevents the efficient, flexible functioning of the personality as a whole.

That the narcissist possesses a prominent False Self as well as a suppressed and dilapidated True Self is common knowledge. Yet, how intertwined and inseparable are these two? Do they interact? How do they influence each other? And what behaviours can be attributed squarely to one or the other of these protagonists? Moreover, does the False Self assume traits and attributes of the True Self in order to deceive the world?

Let's start by referring to an oft-occurring question:

Why are narcissists not prone to suicide?

The simple answer is that they died a long time ago. Narcissists are the true zombies of the world.

Many scholars and therapists tried to grapple with the void at the core of the narcissist. The common view is that the remnants of the True Self are so ossified, shredded, cowed into submission and repressed – that, for all practical purposes, the True Self is dysfunctional and useless. In treating the narcissist, the therapist often tries to construct and nurture a completely new healthy self, rather than build upon the distorted wreckage strewn across the narcissist's psyche.

But what of the rare glimpses of True Self oft reported by those who interact with the narcissist?

Pathological narcissism is frequently comorbid with other disorders. The narcissistic spectrum is made up of gradations and shades of narcissism. Narcissistic traits or style or even personality (overlay) often attach to other disorders (co-morbidity). A person may well appear to be a full-fledged narcissist – may well appear to be suffering from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - but is not, in the strict, psychiatric, sense of the word. In such people, the True Self is still there and is sometimes observable.

In a full-fledged narcissist, the False Self imitates the True Self.

To do so artfully, it deploys two mechanisms:

Re-Interpretation

It causes the narcissist to re-interpret certain emotions and reactions in a flattering, socially acceptable, light. The narcissist may, for instance, interpret fear as compassion. If the narcissist hurts someone he fears (e.g., an authority figure), he may feel bad afterwards and interpret his discomfort as empathy and compassion. To be afraid is humiliating – to be compassionate is commendable and earns the narcissist social commendation and understanding (narcissistic supply).

Emulation

The narcissist is possessed of an uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate others. Often, this gift is abused and put at the service of the narcissist's control freakery and sadism. The narcissist uses it liberally to annihilate the natural defences of his victims by faking empathy.

This capacity is coupled with the narcissist's eerie ability to imitate emotions and their attendant behaviours (affect). The narcissist possesses "emotional resonance tables". He keeps records of every action and reaction, every utterance and consequence, every datum provided by others regarding their state of mind and emotional make-up. From these, he then constructs a set of formulas, which often result in impeccably accurate renditions of emotional behaviour. This can be enormously deceiving.

Answer 2

False Self Narcissism

Answer 3

Narcissistic personality disorder is a serious emotional disturbance characterized by a grandiose, or extremely exaggerated, sense of self-importance. Individuals with this disorder lack empathy for other people but need constant admiration from them. Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders, all of which reflect an inability in the affected person to accept the demands and limitations of the world. These disorders may regularly interfere with a person's behavior and interactions with family, friends or co-workers. Among the other personality disorders are paranoid personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Although people with narcissistic personality disorder have an exaggerated image of their own importance, they have vulnerable self-esteems and often don't like themselves. Therefore, they seek attention that confirms their grandiosity. When feedback doesn't validate their exaggerated image, they tend to lash out or withdraw. Narcissistic personality disorder, which is less common than other personality disorders, is estimated to affect less than 1 percent of the general population. Some studies indicate that it's more common among men. The primary treatment is psychotherapy. Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder is generally a difficult, long-term process. The therapist needs time to diagnose the disorder, to understand how it is manifested and to address the narcissistic behaviors. Individual psychotherapy is the most common treatment approach, but some therapists may also integrate group and family therapy. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be defensive about the process because they were compelled or encouraged to seek therapy by an employer or family member. They may have sought treatment to address a related problem, such as depression or a job crisis, but are unwilling to address the underlying disorder identified by the therapist. Most people with narcissistic personality disorder are not amenable to the therapist-client relationship or to therapists' questions or comments. They're likely to engage with the therapist in their normal manner of portraying a grandiose image and seeking affirmation. When the therapist questions the reality of that self-image or problems with particular behaviors, the individual may react defensively, devalue the skill of the therapist or discontinue treatment. The short-term goal of psychotherapy is to address symptoms, such as depression or shame, that result from attacks on self-esteem. The long-term goal is to reshape the personality to some degree, so that the person can change thinking that distorts self-image, construct a realistic self-image, regulate a stable self-esteem and engage empathetically with others. Medication use is limited, but a doctor may recommend drugs to treat related symptoms, such as depression or anxiety.