i really get so sensitive whenever my boyfriend gets mad..not because of me but by some other things. when he's mad he becomes very unfriendly and refuse to talk to me sometimes or tell me to shut up whenever i try to ask him what's the problem, but he doesn't hurt me physically. then he always apologizes after for being unfriendly and he already told me to be patient because he's really like that. I know that i should accept him for what he is not just his strength but also his weaknesses but the problem is sometimes i really gets so sensitive that everytime he becomes unfriendly i take it personally..i feel like he's mad at me..then i get depress and feel like he might leave me because he's too angry...
how can i change my attitude or how should i handle this situation...
2006-07-09 23:07:38 · 13 answers · asked by beautiful_princess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If someone is angry, leave them alone. This does not give anyone the excuse to be mean to you, but don't pester people when they're angry. If he's hurting or sad, that's a different story. Still don't pester him but you can be there for him even if you don't say a word.
2006-07-09 23:10:32 · answer #1 · answered by Princess Toadstoolie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I beleave most people get unfriendly when they are mad. That is the point to that expression. Plus if he gets mad at you for something that isn't your fault, then it is time to dump him, he need to respect you at all times. And if someone tells you to shut up, then that is abuse. That is a sign to move on. even if he didn't hurt you physically, he is hurting you emotionally. abuse is abuse. don't justify it. for one thing you have the right to take it personally, when he takes his motion out on you. And all females are sensitive, that is what makes them a female. No one should make you fill like they are mad at you for something you didn't do.
it is abuse when someone makes you fill depress and a lesser person. But get rid of him fast and be happy, don't let someone use you as a stepping stone. take action.
2006-07-09 23:21:38 · answer #2 · answered by houtexknights330 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling you to "shut up," is completely inappropriate. And your not confronting him about this (when he's not angry) is enabling his behavior.
I think he's immature and could be a lot of other things.
I also think it's more important to ask yourself why you put up with it. Love is a lot of things -- mutually practiced. "Loving" someone is NOT a license to let him (in this case) walk all over you.
IF you really want to try, then stand up for yourself and let him know the inappropriateness of his behaviour. If he reacts negtively or says this is who he is and he's not going to change, then you have a choice:
leave and hurt for a whle but have faith and you will find someone much better
stay and potentially live a life of insecurity and/or pain and/or continued verbal abuse and/or one day perhaps physical abuse.
2006-07-09 23:15:49 · answer #3 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People deal with situations differently and you two need to find a common ground. Let him go away and have his time to calm down, and try to get on with things as best as possible. Theres no point trying to get him to talk if he isn't ready to talk. Thats just his way and things will be easier when he has calmed down.
Having said that, if hes abusive (does he yell SHUT UP or just say it?) or if hes insulting or gets physical thats a different matter. Its time to get out. If hes asking you to leave him alone in a polite manner then just leave him be to calm down. Any agression should not be tolerated and you should walk away (it will only get worse if you let him be agressive towards you).
2006-07-09 23:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's alot of guys out there with the same kind of attitude
well, just bear with it first..
and one thing..it's important to know that you must always accept your bf as what he is..but that doesn't mean you cannot help him to have a change..a change in order to make him a better person, isnt that an act of caring?
in order to get this going, you must be realllyy patient, and do it step by step,slowly and steady..maybe when he is in the good mood, tell him that your true feeling..and tell him that you are actually telling him what you REALLY feeling..tell him that you care for him, and ask him can you help him to change for a bit?..well if a girl do this to me..i will be so grateful to have her as my gf =)..
good luck..cheers
2006-07-09 23:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by im`only__me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend has anger management issues, trust me. He won't change until he's ready. At that point, he'll most likely need counselling, unless drugs/alcohol are involved, which means he def. needs counselling. Until this underlying anger is dealt with, his behavior will become more and more severe, no matter how you 'change your attitude'. get out now, while you're still healthy.
2006-07-09 23:14:06 · answer #6 · answered by kram 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do the same thing and its really nothing that you can do to help the fact of the matter is is sounds like he really cares for you but what your describing sounds like my problem which is that i have a lot of built up frustration that there isn't a good way to get rid of so when you talk to him you become his way of venting. my suggestion anger management or psychologist for me. good luck and try not to give up.
2006-07-09 23:14:28 · answer #7 · answered by twistedlifesmysteries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to grow up. I wouldn't accept that kind of negativity in my life. Look at what it is doing to you....
It's ok to talk about things that are bothering him.....but he shouldn't take it out on you. If he can't control it, anger management is an option.
2006-07-09 23:14:59 · answer #8 · answered by Tracey LA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All would behave in the fit of anger.
Only the degree of behaviour varies.
2006-07-09 23:13:34 · answer #9 · answered by Kumar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a man who does not get mad easily. he is not the right one for you.
2006-07-09 23:11:24 · answer #10 · answered by manalonedubai 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋