He is into alchohol & "weed" .He goes with the flow of the crowd. I am hanging on a thread. There are times when he does what we ask him. He says he will finish high school ,but I think he's doing the school bit just to get us off his back.
2006-07-09 19:25:53 · 26 answers · asked by angelluvswolf 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he is your child - you should NEVER back off
2006-07-09 19:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by MS L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm that mr. perfect who is 21 now and hasn't touch a drug or had a sip of alcohol. I'm on my last year of college, and live in a town full of pot head teenagers and alcholics.. It doesn't get them anywhere.. He needs help. He needs a parent that will force him to stop hanging out with friends, and will force him to do what is right for him. He's not going to want it. He's going to need it. You have to get him away from the drugs and alchohol.. it WILL ruin his life... at the very least it will give him a rough 10 years before he can get back up again.. I see this all the time, all around me.. You've got to put your foot down. You're going to have to help your son either way.. The only difference is.. do you want to help him as he gets through college? Or do you want to help him as he works his way up to a manager position at walmart? Can you believe the choice is really up to you? Yep.. You're the parent. And, It will probably be h3ll trying to get him to go straight. But, it's what you should do. He'll thank you later. That's not just a cliche..
2006-07-10 02:35:00 · answer #2 · answered by kerbourchardalan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this a single parent home? If not..where's Dad? Nobody seems in control, other than the kid.
You should never stop trying. But, be aware he can find a way to make it impossible to go to school if he chooses. All he has to do is get caught with weed or do some other illegal activity during school and he will be expelled.
You need to get control back by what ever means and you need to get him to realize he will be lost in society without a proper education. Set up counseling and make him go with you. Never give up. Someday he will understand his mistake and you won't want to deal with why you gave up on him.
2006-07-10 02:34:24 · answer #3 · answered by Dale P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes all you can do is try, counseling only works if he's willing to go or participate. How about virtual high school, there are more than the old fashioned traditional way to complete High School. My oldest dropped out her senior year the more people pushed the worse she got, even if you can get them to show up no one no law can make them actually do anything once they are there. They may refuse to do any testing, homework etc. They may even go through the motions and do the stuff but fail on purpose. They are called inschool dropouts, just there but doing nothing. You'll have to communicate with him it must be two way listen to what he says and his reasoning.
2006-07-10 09:39:11 · answer #4 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stay on your child for as long as possible. The best advice that i can give is to go through family and substance abuse counseling with him. I feel that the school situation will fall into place once you take care of those issues. Whatever you do, do not back-off off. Stay assertive,supportive and prayerful. I hope that everything works out for the better.
2006-07-10 02:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by brina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How in the hell did it ever get this way?! Kids used to do what their parents told them to do, and that was it! Very few arguments, and mostly respect! I think we need to start allowing corporal punishment again, and ease up on the child welfare sh*t! Kids used to get the crap beat out of them by their parents, but they grew up with a lot more smarts, and a lot more respect than kids have now! They HAVE TO KNOW that you won't accept their teenage bullsh*t! Do as I say, or you're gonna get the belt!! That's all there is to it! And have discipline be a private matter ONLY!!
2006-07-10 02:35:00 · answer #6 · answered by Rebooted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest finding a good counselor. My daughter and I went thru similar problems a couple of years ago. While she was younger than your son it helped tremendously. If he won't go at least you will get options on how to handle the situation. I know it opened my eyes. It was tough to see how my reactions caused her actions. Like I said it isn't a quick fix but it will give you some direction. Don't ever give up. I kept thinking.....how would I have felt if my parent's had given up on me, cause when you are at your worst that is when you need the unconditional love and security of your parents. Good luck and GOD Bless you both!!!
2006-07-10 02:33:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not "try" to make him finish high school.
MAKE him finish high-school. It will be the best gift you've ever given him. People go almost nowhere without at least a high-school education, and all the drop-outs I've seen turn to drugs.
2006-07-10 02:29:10 · answer #8 · answered by Mitchell H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the next cool, sober, friendly morning, when the two of you are getting along, remind him out loud that you love him and the diploma means A LOT to you.
Then shut up! Don't bring it up again until graduation day.
He's got some serious bad habits that are going to embitter and empoverish him without that HS diploma.
2006-07-10 02:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its just a phase most 16 yr olds go through. Thats when i started trying things and not wanting to finish school. But your son will realize he needs to finish when he sees all his friends movin on and leavin him behind.
2006-07-10 02:32:24 · answer #10 · answered by mony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter quit school in the 11th grade and I raised a whole bunch of u know what but after she got married 2 kids later she told me that I was right and she wished she would of listened to me so she went on when she could and got her GED. It wasnt easy for her with 2 children but she done it.. I just wish and she does too that she would of stayed in and walked down that Big Isle with her class mates!
2006-07-10 02:30:26 · answer #11 · answered by sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋