What would you have done different?

Question

I am 19 yrs old about to be a new mom. I know I couldve saved myself a lot of trouble if I would have listened to older people growing up but I always had to do things the hard way. Now im ready to listen and take advice and I dont ever get any. If any older people out there have words of wisdom some things they would do differently please list. Thanks

Answer 1

to many to count. one of the things for me is college. i tried to go last fall i felt so out of place. the algebra is what made me leave. making mistakes is apart of life.if u don't make mistakes how can u ever learn from them? my niece had 2 kids before the age of 22 one is 4 the other is 2 but she is a great Mommy she loves them more then life itself but if she had to do it all over again i know she would do it differently.. like i told her u have to take life as it comes. we will never know what Gods plan is or will be who knows you might have the next world leader in u tummy.as far as your F&F give them time they will start giving their advice again and like before u will probley take some and leave some. its u & u babe's life now. just remember when u start giving (she-he) advice is the key dont dictact, in other words do not say things like if i had listen to my mom i would be doing( this or that) if u feel u need advice NOW go to them, talk, be honest that u need help. if it were me u came to, i would tell u that I LOVE YOU no matter what. u can't undo what is already done. I am sorry I said mistake if u have the love and means 4 this child then it can never be a mistake...think about this god gave us a brain to use some of the most fomous people probley thought the some way as u do.if u had been as hard headed about something other then this, and u became famouse or wellknown they would be right by your side talking or bragging about your pigheadness. right? i hope i did ok for u i tend to rattle on and some times i loose my train of thought i hope u got something out of this. please be good and just love and do what u can that is what matters........
i hope i spelled this ok my spell checker is saying its having problems see we arn't the only ones in trouble haha..

Answer 2

I was 18 when I had my first and 20 when I had my second. I am 22 now and wouldn't change anything. At the time I was scared, not knowing how I was going to support the child and wondering how good of a mom I was going to be. Well, it turned out great. The first one is now 3 and the second one is now 2. I am so glad I had my children. They give a whole new meaning to life. They put a new perspective on everything. I am so happy with my kids. They are wonderful! Don't worry! Everything will turn out fine in the end of it all. If you were planning on going to school, you still can, once your baby is old enough to be put in daycare. If you need financial aid, there are such programs out there such as Social Services(welfare). It's not as bad as it seems. I would recommend something a little more productive, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right? We used to be in that boat. Now I am stay at home mom(temporarily) and my boyfriend owns his own painting company. He is both of my kids father and we have been together a total of 6 years. Don't worry! It's not all bad! Being a parent is (to me) the best thing that could happen to a person! Good Luck! I wish you well!

Answer 3

News flash no one listens to older people when we are your age but if you'll didn't know this we were actually you age once too, no really we were and we had promiscuous sex and smoked weed, drank, snuck out of the house all the same things y'all do! But I tell you what you only regret it if the outcome is bad or life altering such as yours, admit it until you got pregnant you never thought twice about anything! Welcome to adulthood I'm just sorry you had to get pregnant to become one,please just remember this baby has to come before you now so put your memories behind you and look forward to a fun and wonderful future with your baby! Don't look it as a burden, you just have to change what your idea of fun is, now it's cartoons and Chuck E. Cheese! It's really not that bad it give you an excuse to act like a little kid again! I have so much fun with my 2 kids they are now 12 and 8 and we have a blast, of course I enjoyed them more when they were babies but now I have a little more freedom,but there is still dance classes, baseball, football, cheer leading, etc! Hope all the best for you! As for your Question I wish I could have met my husband back when I was in high school, he's my 3rd and last! If I would have known him I wouldn't have done allot of the wild and crazy things I did as a teenager! Always remember everything you do effects you future and now your baby's!!

Answer 4

When I was a first time mom at 17 I was embarrassed to ask for help. I thought, I'm his mother I should be able to handle everything myself. That was a very depressing time. Learning how to take care of another tiny human is a daunting task. Don't be afraid of judgement. When help is offered, accept. And when it's not, ask for it. It doesn't mean you couldn't cut it, or you're a loser, it just means you're like all the other mothers in the world. That's the most important piece of advice I can think of right now....other not so important ones are, get everything you need now before your baby comes because it's sooo hard to go out anywhere with a newborn, and if it's a boy, have something handy to throw onto his *you know what* :P when you change him, trust me, newborn boys wait until just the "perfect" time to pee. XD Other than that, don't worry too much, don't forget to take care of yourself when you can, and don't worry...again, because new moms do that ALOT. ^_^ Good luck to you and congratulations on your baby and on your finding the way away from the hard way...lol, tongue twister.

Answer 5

Just relax. It is not the end of the world to be a young mom! Enjoy that precious bundle of joy because they grow fast! When people told me that I ignored them because I had a little newborn in my arms and though it would be a long time til they grow up. Now I have an 8 year old who thinks she is going on 21. Just relax and enjoy what you have been given and when you and your child are older, you will be much more wiser and financially stable, you will be able to go out and have fun when your baby is old enough to be alone. Don't think about what you could have done differently because you can not change what has been done, you can only make the future better! You will have so much fun with your child! Your fun is only just beginning! Now start looking forward to a bright future! You will know true joy when you hold that baby for the first time! Just relax and ENJOY what you have been given!

Answer 6

This is a great question! Wow, I'm proud of you being so young and thinking of such a smart question. Okay, here's mine. Think back to when you were younger and remember what your parents did with you that wasn't right and make sure you don't make the same mistakes. I'm not saying that anything is wrong with you because of what they did, for example, my parents spanked my siblings and I and I hated it so I use different methods with my kids. It is very hard and every once in a while I lose my temper and spank my sons bum but it breaks my heart to see the hurt look in his eyes. Try to be strong enough to never hit your kids. Now, just because I'm saying not to spank them does NOT mean they don't need discipline. I'll get back to that later. Okay, starting out with a newborn. They can get super frustrating. My kids are only 14 months apart so I still had a baby when I had my second one so I know how bad it can get. Make sure somebody helps you so you can have some time for you. Trust me, you can't afford not to. Sometimes babies can drive you crazy but just make sure you'll never do something you'll regret. You hear this all the time but if you can't take the screaming then just put them somewhere safe and go where you can't hear them for a few minutes and don't think about it. Now don't listen when people tell you you're spoiling your baby. They can't be spoiled for at least 5 months, probably more. They can get used to things like sleeping in bed with mommy but that doesn't mean they're spoiled. Your baby will not cry as much if they know that when they do cry they will get the attention they need. When your baby gets old enough to start eating cereal and stuff like that make sure you start them. I didn't with my son and it's a lot harder now to get him to eat. I'm sorry this is turning out so long but I'm not through yet. This is all stuff I wish I would have known. When your child is older and you do need to discipline them don't make empty threats. If you say that you'll take away something if they don't do something, follow through or they'll walk all over you. Don't let your kids treat you like crap. I see it with my mother-in-law and brother-in-law. She is a nurse and works 12 hour shifts and gets home tired and my BIL tells her, not asks her, tells her to make him dinner. Make sure they know who's boss. Sorry, I'm rambling a lot. I just would like to pass on everything so you can take what you want and leave the rest. If you or anybody else reading this answer want to talk about being a young mommy e-mail me! I'm just a few years ahead of you so I know where you are headed. My e-mail is [e-mail]. Good luck and just follow your heart!

Answer 7

Congratuations! I'm not sure if you are single or not, but if you are, my bit of advice would be not to assume that the next person you fall for is "the one". I'm in my early-thirties, and at your age I thought I knew what true love felt like. Then I felt it again, and again, with different people. So don't take your upcoming 20's too seriously.. Use them to learn, grow and decide what YOU really want out of life and a man. In the mean time, enjoy your baby and be the best mom you can be, since that is all you have control over in the big picture anyway. Good luck!

Answer 8

Love and cherish your child, they grow up so fast. Don't take him/her for granted either, there are so many people in this world who can't have children who would want some but for whatever reason they can't.

Plan ahead for you and your babies future. If you are going to go to college don't let having a baby stop you. It might take you a little longer to get it done, but it will be a lot easier to get it done now then when your child is older and when you are older. And the sooner you get your degree the better paying job you will have to be able to save up for your child's college and to buy a house with a nice yard for your child to play in.

Put your baby first and what is in the best interest for him/her and you will be just fine. :) Good luck to you and I wish you the best.

Answer 9

Learn from your mistakes and cherrish every thing life throws at you. Everything is a lesson in disguise. Poop happens, we have no control over that. It's how you handle the poop that makes the difference.
Live life to it's fullest, and enjoy every moment. When you're up at 3am with no sleep for 4 days it will hit you that your child depends on you and you alone. That child will always be there and will value everything you do for it...that's when you'll realize what unconditional love is.
As far as the baby goes, most hospitals offer all kinds of cheep to free classes in childbirth, brestfeeding, caring for a newborn, etc. Take every one of those you can and heavily network with the people in the class...babysitting/sharing for a day of rest, clothes swapping, etc. It's a life saver. And trust me, parents are a sucker for a baby...my mom insists on taking the kids every other weekend. Take advantage of any offered help!

Answer 10

Congratulations on your baby AND newfound wisdom.

I wish I'd realized sooner that it's MY CHOICE how to look at things. When stuff happens, I can choose to let it get to me and be miserable, or I can learn something from the situation, find a creative solution, and go on about my life wearing a smile. Bad things, sad things, dissappointments will happen, but they're only temporary. Stuck in the hospital with preeclampsia? Time to practice origami! My son puked all over both of us? Another chance for us both to shower! Didn't get to the grocery store? Time to get creative in the kitchen!

Good luck to you and your family- you only get one chance at life, so make the most of it!