best joke?

Question

i guess ill start.

a man out golfing tees up for the first hole.
just has he's about to swing a funeral procession drives by.
the man lowers his club,takes off his hat, and respectively bows his head.after the procession drives by the man tees up and hits the ball.
his caddy, overcome by the gesture, says"wow, that has to be one of the most respectfull things ive ever seen". the man turns and says" damb right, i was married to her twenty years".

bad. i know

Answer 1

omg, He was golfing during his own wife's funeral procession right? ha ha

o.k.

So these three guys are at the pearly gates and st. Peter says "heaven's a pretty crowded place so you'll all need transportation. I'll give you a vehicle according to how loyal you were to your spouse. (to the first guy-) How many times have you cheated on your wife?"

The guys says "About ten times" He gets a pinto.

The second guy, after being asked the same question says, "I don't know, I think like five times?" St. Peter gives him an old mustang.

The third guy looks in disbelief at the other two guys and says, "I've never cheated on my wife, you two are scoundrels!"

So the three guys are cruising around heaven and the first two see the third bawling in his brand-new porsche. They're like "Dude, why are you crying? You got the most awesome car!"

The third guys says, "I just saw my wife walking down the street!"

Answer 2

A guy comes home from work and his wife greets him at the door holding two golf balls and a wad of $10 bills that easily totals $500.

"I was cleaning out your sock drawer and found this stuff -- what's this all about?" asks the wife.

Realizing he'd been busted, the man confessed, "Well, honey, we've been married 10 years, and even though I consider myself a good Catholic, I haven't exactly been faithful that whole time. I promised myself the first time I strayed that if I cheated on you, I'd put a golf ball in my sock drawer to remind me how many times I'd have to admit to cheating when I went to confession."

The wife thought for a moment and said, "Well, we've been married a decade and you've only cheated on me twice. If the good Lord can forgive you, so can I. Now, what's the story with all this money? Are you saving up to buy me a gift to make up for cheating?"

"No," said the man. "Every time I'd get to a dozen golf balls, I'd sell 'em for $10."

Answer 3

heh that was so cute lol

its kinda like...

there was a man at a superbowl game and he had sucky seats so he saw an open one on the 50 yard line. he sat down and started to make conversation and he asked who would give up these seats...the older man sitting next to him says that was my wife's seat until she passed away, this is the first one that both of us aren't here to watch. the man felt like a jack a s s and said couldn't you have found a relative to come with you? he said i would have but they're all at the funeral.

hehe check ya later ♥

Answer 4

Dude this first guy to answer really doesn't get it? His wife died dumbass and he's playing golf, instead of at her funeral.

Answer 5

yeah, it was bad... but not as bad as this: yo' moma so fat, I rolled over twice and I was still on top of the *****.

Answer 6

That last one's not exactly what i'd call funny.
No offense.

Answer 7

haha i think that's hilarious.
i can see my dad doing something like that.

Answer 8

What's that joke all about

Answer 9

ya know,.. i'm glad you know that was bad.

Answer 10

its not bad, i just dont get it.