To baptize or Not To baptize?

Question

As a child my parents had me do all the typical Catholic requirements (baptism, communion, etc). But, somewhere along the line I fell away from the church. God is still in my heart and I try to do his will everyday but, I guess I just have a problem with the Catholic religion. I have a 9 yr old daughter. My family and husband have been after me for years to get her baptized but, my heart is not in it. It has caused many fights. Now, I am pregnant again so the subject has come up again to get them both baptized. My husband's mother has tried to arrange the baptism but, the church said that the parents have to be the ones to do it. I told my husband if it is importnat to him he can arrange it but, he said that he wants me to handle it. I just can't see doing something just to appease others. I would feel like I was being fake. Please, someone give me some advise?

Answer 1

My feeling is that whether you go to church are baptized or not God and the angels will be with you either way. If God loves everyone, heaven's doors are wide enough, all sins are forgiven, and God turns his back on nobody, you'll get to the pearly gates either way. You never need a church or a minister to feel closer to god. You can pray anywhere dressed in anything. Religion comes from your heart not from that annointment of holy water.
If this baptism is really so important enough to keep the peace of your in-law but doesn't matter to you either way then I'd just outweigh the measures. Will that baptism change your child in any way? Will that baptism harm anyone? Would the baptism make dealing with others easier? ...Maybe you could just consider it like a day in the park and let it roll off your back later. Could you sign permission for your in-law to take over with that and let her carry out the arrangements?

Answer 2

It's a shame you have fallen away from the Church. Has your child asked you to go to church? To learn about your family's faith? I think your daughter is old enough to have a conversation about this with her. If she decides she wants to learn more and go to church, I think you should support her in this; however, I believe your husband should be just as involved in this as you are.

Before your second child is born, perhaps taking a weekend retreat would be a good thing to have sometime to think and pray about it on your own without anyone pressuring you.

Having been raised Catholic, then you know that family, next to God, is the most important thing. This should be a family discussion - with your daughter included.

On a personal note, when I was 9 years old, I wanted to go to church, my family was anti-religion - so I took myself to church. Mind you - I haven't really stopped going and I'm 35 now. But still, don't do that to your child, help her and assist her in her spiritual development, otherwise she may feel very much alone.

If your daughter decides she wants to learn more about Christianity and Catholicism, then both you and your husband should support her in that decision.

I hope that has been of assistance to you.

Answer 3

I'm in the same exact predicament, with my hardcore family DEMANDING that i set a date for a baptism soon. i fell out of faith 12 years ago, and i don't think i should be forced to baptize when i don't agree with the institution that has built walls and divided so many people. it's the Catholic church's policys that piss me off, so I'm not going to jump through a hoop to satisfy someone else's beliefs. believe me, it's not easy at all. and if your husband is not supportive, it's going to be even harder. the bottom line is YOU and your husband are responsible for the child's religious upbringing, so anyone else who says otherwise is just being nosy. and you can say you're leaving the decision on baptism to the kid, to make when he/she is old enough to understand the decision. good luck with whatever you decide......

Answer 4

Did you know that you, yourself, can baptize a child? I don't know how the Catholic faith feels about it, but a number of our friends have done it, for reasons similar to yours. They still believe in God, but not in the Church, so they have arranged ceremonies of their own (much like some people arrange weddings that are a far cry from the traditional march down the aisle, but that are meaningful to them) complete with friends who vow to give their love and protection to this child (the equivalent to godparents).
It sounds as though this is something coming from the grandparents, and he isn't really too concerned about it.

Answer 5

If you will go to www.lds.org they have a lot of answers to questions like this.
This answer is that a child does not need baptism until they reach the age of accountability, which is around 8 years old. Go to the site and request information and ask that question. They can give you a lot more answers.

Answer 6

If it is a fake act doing wont be fake on your part, if it is a real thing then doing it even if its not in your heart is ok too.
Another option is the baptists way, dont sprinkle them as a kid, wait thill they know and want the baptism then get em dunked.

If you are still stuck with the first option, then for the sake of avoiding fights for your childrens sake, go along with it, it cant hurt them.

this from a non-believers point of view too

Answer 7

Baptism is a public statement of your personal acceptance of the gift of salvation. You can dedicate your child or appease your family or just wait until your child comes to the decision on their own. They are the only ones who decide their destination for eternity.

Answer 8

Baptism signifies that you are dead to the world and intend to lead a life dedicated to God. That's why in evangelical circles a person is baptised when he/she accepts Jesus as their personal saviour and Lord. Again, Baptism is a public act of your acceptance of Jesus as your savior. It has nothing to do with communion, membership etc. Different interpretations are given to the term Baptism. But the essential and most meaningful explanation is that it signifies your public confession that you accept Jesus as your savior and intend to lead a life of dedication to God.

Answer 9

If you love Jesus...the you have to have your kids recieve the baptism. IN baptism we are
re-born of SPIRIT..Jesus said that we have to be born of spirit and water to see the kingdom of God and removes the "blinds" of sin. It is imperative that they recieve the sacraments which CHRIST gave the Catholic church inorder to recieve sanctyfying grace and be more holy. good luck.

Answer 10

Don't baptize them to apease others.
If you don't want to baptize them, and your husband will not take the initiative, let the children decide when they are older if they want to be baptized.