My ex and I share legal custody of our 10 yr old daughter. I have full physical custody. He has a habit of popping in and out of her life when it's easy for him to be a "dad". Never calls, sends e-mails infrequently.
Then out of the blue he wants to take her for the weekend. I told him he's welcome to stay with me on the couch. He said that was great and came. Promised her he would see her again the next month. He never came. Called and told her that he will be here in July for the weekend. Again - didn't come.
Now I'm beyond angry. What I want to is to go back to court and get sole custody. We currently share the legal custody and I have full physical.
I also want to write a letter telling him that this is the last time he will do this. That he will NOT talk to her and tell her he's coming only to bale - again on her. But I don't think that is enough...
What would you suggest I do? I can't let my anger get the best of me, but she deserves the best!!
2006-07-09 16:16:29 · 7 answers · asked by EMTMoore 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
don't bother going back to court. you have sole physical custody. a judge is just going to tell you that he has the right to take his visitation time... or not, it's his choice. and in regards to the joint legal... it means very little. joint legal means he gets to have a say in her medical treatments and gets to help make a decision if you want her to change schools. THAT'S IT. and my guess would be that he doesn't care about those things either... so why waist money and time and get yourself all stressed out? make excuses for your daughter's lame father OR when he doesn't show up, HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER call him to find out why he didn't come... let him make up his lame excuse while she is crying and upset. THEN take her out and do something really fun. i'm not suggesting that she make the call for any reason other than to let him realize SHE'S A REAL person that is hurt when he doesn't keep promises. maybe he'll feel like crap and start doing what he says he'll do IF SHE CALLS! it's hard for a girl not to have a father in their life... but you can't make him be responsible. no one can make him be responsible! I DO wish you the best of luck... and you're right, don't let your anger get the best of you and she DOES deserve the best!
2006-07-09 16:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have the right to take her father out of her life. You can put a stop to the crap by telling him when he talks to her that he cannot tell he's coming. If he show's up... great, if not.... she won't know he was supposed to be there. Although you want what's best for her, sometimes this isn't about what YOU want. You need to make sure her father has access to her or else she will resent and blame you for it all. Good luck.
2006-07-10 00:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would check into it with you local state laws. I am divorced and I have joint custody like you. Even if I took sole custody he is still entitled to his visits and as long as when he shows up it is his time as set forth by the courts there is nothing I can do. I have to have them ready for him every other weekend wheather he shows up or not. Luckily my ex is not like that, but my step-son's mother is. We have custody of him and she never shows for visitations, doesn't call, and she doesn't answer the phone when we call her house. Unfortunetly this really hurts because she has custody of my husband's other son.
2006-07-09 23:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by B D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should just write off the deadbeat loser dad. He's not worth the effort it takes to be mad at him. Concentrate on your wonderful 10 year old daughter. Make her the center of your life until she is 18 years old and ready to go off to college. Be sure she is happy, healthy, and knows she is loved. Don't bash her deadbeat dad because that will just bite you in the butt. But she will realize that YOU are the one parent she can count on. You will be the one there for her when she laughs and cries and celebrates and mourns. The deadbeat dad can go on with his lousy selfish existence and pop in and out but she will know that YOU are the one who is always her rock. And in the end YOU will reap the benefits of having a wonderful daughter. He will never have the kind of relationship you have with her and he will live to regret it.
When you go to court make sure his child support payment is LARGE!
2006-07-09 23:28:01 · answer #4 · answered by waney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything, it will better for your daughter if she sees the unvarnished dad that is reality. It's better to be younger when you begin to come to grips with the exact type of father the man is. Always leave the door open for dad because he might change down the road and the whole "you kept me from my child" speech is rendered moot.
2006-07-09 23:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by D.J.G. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you want the best for her. I think I would go back to court. But i would not tell him he can't see her even if he does bale. Let the court handle it. Good luck.
2006-07-09 23:25:04 · answer #6 · answered by rainofshadows20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See an Attorney and then get a Judge to tell him when and how he can see her.
2006-07-11 18:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋