How can I have more control over my hot temper?

Question

I have a hot temper with things sometimes. I get easily annoyed and bitchy at the drop of a hat, and really I don't mean to do that. But I feel like I cannot gain control over it.
When I get angry sometimes I even have the urge to throw things or hit the person that did something to annoy me.
This is causing problems with my relationship with my significant other and sometimes my family. How can I have more control over my angry emotions and not get so easily frustrated or annoyed?

Answer 1

Anger is NOT caused by what someone else does or says - It is caused by what you THINK about what someone did or said!!! People are buttheads all the time.....But it gets to you IF you say to yourself THEY SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THAT~! You think people should know better; but, they don't!
When you realize you have no control over what others DO ; but, you DO have control over what you THINK about what they do. This puts YOU in control over your own emotions!!! It's empowering..... You can say, "hey, I don't like what she just said, but she just doesn't know any better!" In other words, cut people some slack; cut yourself some slack, too. Don't expect to be good at this overnight; just say "Oops, I just let that get to me again!" " Let's see, what could I think about this to feel better?"

Answer 2

I have a real temper problem as well. It used to be much worse though, and I'm now much more in control of it. I started out by doing simple things, that while they still weren't very "in control" kind of things, they would at least keep me from doing something destructive.

Try screaming into a pillow, for starters. I know it sounds kinda' cliche and silly, but it is a really good stress reliever.

Next, try working out. Push-ups, sit-ups, squats, lunges, etc. Physical exertion will cool your temper quick.

Once you have enough of a handle on your temper to begin with, try sitting down and writing something. Even if it's just an angry letter to whatever the source of your anger is. Say EVERYTHING you want to say in the letter, and then destroy it afterwards.

Maybe after you've got your temper under control by that much, you'll be able to channel it into something more positive. I, for example, write poetry and stories.

Alternatively, there's always violent video-games, which I still frequently use, as well.

Finally, remember to think about what will happen if you do act rashly. What will happen -this- time when you lose your temper? What will happen in the long run? That should deter you pretty well, also.

By the time I was done typing this, I also noticed a lot of people suggesting drugs or anger management. Those things might help some people, but they're certainly not the best or only answer. I would STRONGLY suggest avoiding therapy OR drugs, until after you've given sincere effort to more independent alternatives.

Answer 3

First of all congratulations that you have recognized that there is a problem and that you have a sincere willingness to overcome this or at least alter it to a more acceptable level. You are a passionate person I can tell and therefore I know you also are someone that goes after something when they want it.

You start by realizing that it's worth changing your temper and anger level. This is something that also must come from inside of you. Some people have to re-channel their anger into other manifestations of response and some just have to find a way to suppress the immediate urges you feel when something comes up. The important thing is to keep focused in your efforts. Primary is to recognize the things you have to lose by not altering your anger response. Also don't get frustrated when you have a failure but refocus your fight and effort. I also would encourage you to share with your true friends and loved ones that you realize that you have a problem that you don't like and ask for them to have some loving understanding as you attempt to get a handle on this. I hope this helps

Answer 4

I have rage. Not "I get some PMS" or "sometimes I get cranky." I get serious rage. It actually feels like there's a demon trying to tear my body in half and escape.

The best thing I've found is to remove yourself from the situation. Just tell whoever it is that has set you off that you need a few minutes to cool off and leave. Once you're alone, take deep breaths and try to gather yourself. If you come out to discover that you're still ready to be physical, leave again. You may feel dumb and you may feel like the other person is winning, but it will help you to build your tolerance and stop the impulse to get physical that you're having such a hard time controlling now.

To help reduce the adrenaline that builds up in your body and contributes to the impulses, get some exercise. Go for runs, hit a heavy bag. Whatever feels good to you and helps work out your stress.

Meditating and doing yoga also help to center you. I personally have found a great deal of comfort and strength from praying.

Best of luck.

Answer 5

-Well your off to a good start. You recognize you have a problem. Now you need to recognize the most common event that causes you to get upset. Once you have that then yuu can learn to recognize the anger and curb it down before it happens.

Anger is the result of another feeling or emotion. You need to recognize the real feeling before anger happens. Do you feel hurt, frustrated, rejected, annoyed, confused, out of control, unwanted or unloved, etc. Anger involves more than just being angery. IT is the feeling that causes the anger you need to figure out.

Once you isolate the real feeling that causes the anger you can work on managing it. You can't gain control over anger, but you can work on eliminating it from your life. Anger once it surfaces is the one in control.

Answer 6

Zoloft!

Not just an antidepressant, also helps with anger control. Talk to someone about why you get so angry. Read about it on the internet. There are a lot of angry people that don't try control it and end up in jail or worse. so you are doing the right thing.
Good luck

Answer 7

Recovery, Inc. helped me a lot. Check your local paper to see if there's a support group in your area. The tools they teach you are also used in cognitive therapy, just phrased differently.

I've also found sometimes it helps to smash something you don't care about. I bought my ex a bunch of cheap plates from thrift stores or yard sales and had him smash them on the outside of the house when he needed to smash something. Learn really soon to direct your anger to inanimate objects so no one gets hurt, OK?

And I admit I get chicken and avoid situations where I know I'll feel like confronting others- like going to social services to try and get my Medicare premium paid and some food stamps, I write letters and e=mail all the time rather then face people that I really just want to punch in the face instead. It's the smart thing to do.

Answer 8

I work with children with behavior disorders. I give them 6 coping skills that can also apply to adults.: They are:
1. Stop and think
2. Count to 10
3. Take a deep breath
4. Walk away
5. Talk to someone you trust
6. Make good decisions.
Also in your case--you should try to find the true source of your anger. It is most likely not the situation when you lose your temper. You have some rage inside you that stems from something else.

Answer 9

that must be very hard for you to go through. There are many ways to help you control your anger and you dont hurt the ones around you. I know you get frustrated and annoyed by just the sound of their voice, what they say and how they say it right.? well just walk away or work out helps you get the stress out cause you sweat it out. Instead of yelling at everyone around you. Just go and scream into your pillow. Be smart about make it look like it doesnt get to you.just look at them and smile. When I get really really mad and everything and everyone is buging me. I go into my room. Trun on some load music. Or I go for a siwm. anything active to get your mind off.

Answer 10

Anger Mgt Classes