tell me good joke about life. good ones receice 10 extra marks?

Answer 1

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."

They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.

The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well...
Kiss your *** good-bye!

Have A Nice Day and
Be Careful With Your Donkey

Answer 2

Boudreaux the Baptist

Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana, was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... and since it was Lent,
they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."

Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched. There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

Answer 3

Never sneeze while getting your hair cut.

Don't complain about taking a vacation, you get a free trip around the world every year when the earth rotates.

Answer 4

When your house burns down and you boss fires you and your dog runs away and your ankle breaks, some numbskull is sure to say "That's life!"

Actually, I knew a guy who was so dull, when he dropped dead, he was the life of the party.

Answer 5

life sucks then you die!!!!!
we should appreciate life because we can see it and hear it and speak with it, but helen keller couldn't

Answer 6

The only way to f u c k someone over is to do it on a ferrise wheel!

When LIFE gives you lemons, return the box quaker made a mistake.

ohhh forrest gump "Momma always says, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get!"

Life is hard, so f u c k it.

or... the best story with a moral hehe

There was a boy in high school called Joey. One day Joey leaned over
to the girl sitting next to him in class and whispered, "Red roses."

The shocked girl stood up, slapped Joey in the face and went crying
to the teacher. The teacher called Joey to the desk and asked what
he had said.

Red roses" was Joey's reply, at which the teacher screamed and sent
poor Joey to the principal's office.

As Joey waited in the lobby to be called in, he pondered what was
happening to him. His thoughts where cut short by the sound of the
secretary saying he could go in. Joey walked into the office and was
told to take a seat, which he did.

After telling the story of how he had been wrongly accused and how
he knew there was some mistake, the principal smiled and asked, "OK,
Joey, I understand. What did you say to her?" Joey was sure the
principal would be a reasonable man and responded "Red roses." you
could watch as the principal turned red and shouted "YOU'RE
EXPELLED! GET OUT!"

Joey asked to wait for the bus to take him home, since he lived some
distance away. "NO!" Then Joey was informed that if he were caught
on the premises again, he would be arrested for trespassing.

Very distraught, Joey set out on his way home. He had made it about
a mile down the road when Old Man Jones, the local pig farmer,
stopped and offered a ride home. Joey, being very upset, of course,
accepted the ride.

Not more than a mile down the road, Old Man Jones asked why Joey
wasn't in school, so Joey told the story of the events that had
happened that day. At the end of the story, the old man said that it
sounded like Joey had quite a rough time of it "Oh, and what did you
say?" Joey hesitated– should he tell the man what he said, or not?
He decided to tell him. "Red roses."

The tires squealed as the truck ground to a halt.Old Man Jones
reached over and opened the door and pushed Joey out on his ear.

Now very angry, Joey got up, brushed himself off, and continued on
his way home. Upon arriving at home, Joey's mother, Mrs. Campbell,
saw that her son wasn't looking too good, and asked why he hadn't
caught the bus. Joey told her. She fixed Joey a bowl of soup and
then asked, "Joey, dear, what on earth did you say to that little
girl?" Joey wasn't sure what to do. He knew his mother loved him,
but he didn't want her to have the same reaction everyone else had.
But he told her anyway. "Red roses."





Joey waited in his room with a bruised ego and a sore bottom,
wondering what would happen when his father got home. Six o'clock
came around and Joey's father got home. He could hear his parents
arguing outside his door and then suddenly it was quiet. Mr..
Campbell came into the room and said, "Your mother told me you had
some trouble at school, but I told her you and I would figure it out.

But the first thing is you have to tell me what you said." "OK, Dad,
I said red roses'," was Joey's response. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE,
YOU"RE NO SON OF MINE!"

The next morning, Joey decided he needed to get a job. It was awhile
before he found anyone who would hire a 15-year-old who had been
expelled from high school and kicked out of the house. But Joey
wasn't a quitter, and he did find a job working at a gas station in
a neighboring town. After a few months, Joey had managed to get
settled in his new job and had even moved into the apartment over
his boss' garage.

On a particularly slow day at work Joey's boss asked what had
happened that caused everything that had happened to happen. Joey
went into along story of emotional stress,misunderstood youth, the
pain of having lost all of his friends and family in one fateful
day. The tale Joey spun was so powerful; his boss was moved to tears
and, out of compassion, offered to adopt Joey.

With the firstsmile to cross his lips in months, Joey accepted. On
the way to the court proceedings a few days later, Joey's boss asked
him, "Exactly, what did you say to her?" Without thinking, Joey
replied, "Red roses." His boss grew as white as a ghost and
said, "That was my niece, you little pervert!"

Once again, Joey was without a friend in the world. The next day
Joey took all the money he had managed to save and bought a bus
ticket "to wherever the farthest place from here is."

As he waited for his bus, a little old lady sat down next to him on
the bench. Even though he didn't want to, she started talking, and
before you knew it, she had heard almost the whole story. But she
interrupted and asked what he had said."Ma'am, I said `red roses'."

Well, the words were just barely out of his mouth when she started
beating him with her cane.

In order to flee the fury of the old woman, he ran across the road,
but he never made it to the other side. He was hit by a speeding
Mack truck and he died.

The moral of this story is,

*Always look both ways before crossing the street.*


and... about men and women...



A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a
trap.The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will
grant you three wishes.

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I
failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be
the most beautiful woman in the world."

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom
women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most
beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the
world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man
in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

ATTENTION female readers: This is the END of the joke for you. Stop
here and continue feeling good.

ATTENTION MALE readers: Please scroll down.
:

:

:

:

:

:

Scroll down

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

Scroll down

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

Scroll down

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

Scroll down

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

Scroll down

:

:

:

:

:

:

:
Scroll down

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

Scroll down .. A bit more..

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:



The man had a heart attack ten times MILDER than his wife!!!

MORAL OF THE STORY : Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
show that women never listen!!!

he he he he he he !! actually
mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!


check ya later ♥

Answer 7

dont be like mr.bean..!