my two sons, one is 12 going on 13 and the other is almost 9, they fight CONSTANTLY. they act like they hate each other all the time. i ask them to please get along and they say they hate each other. i dont know what to do and im at my wits end.
2006-07-09 15:56:08 · 13 answers · asked by boo4272002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Believe it or not this is fairly normal. There were some excellent suggestions in earlier posts. Keeping them apart as much as possible may help, but they will interact. Some ground rules will help, whatever works for you in your family. Perhaps:
Grounding/no computer/no video games for either participant if
o blood is spilled
o Any ER visit occurs.
o Anything in the house gets broken during a "discussion".
This sounds silly, but some of it you have to let happen, so choose the things you want to really come down on them for.
2006-07-09 16:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by Computer Guy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I feel your pain. Mine are still little but all they EVER do is fight. The only thing I have for you is that when they do it I punish both of them no matter who started what. I separate them and put them in different parts of the house. This way they know if they tell on each other they will both get in trouble, so they try to get along. I wish I could be more helpful I know how stressful it can be. If nothing else I'd take them to a family counselor to sort out where their anger is coming from
2006-07-09 23:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say they hate eachother, but let one kid say something about one of the brothers, and I guarantee you they'll ban together to take that kid OUT.
Fighting is normal, especially at that age. They're two young men who are coming into all those great teenage hormones that precede adulthood. It will be like this for the next few years (probably until your oldest hits high school).
If it's really bothering you, then get them involved in some extra-curriculars so they don't have to spend every waking moment in the same house together. If one or the other is at soccer practice, you'll have less to deal with.
2006-07-09 23:07:09 · answer #3 · answered by Luann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is some way to do so, I would suggest a seperation of the two for a while. Perhaps one could go and stay with a member of the family or go to camp or something. Usually when my kids begin to fight these are the steps I take, and it seems to work.
Abscence makes the heart grow fonder.
2006-07-09 23:01:21 · answer #4 · answered by awarriorandapoet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother and I fight constantly. It's just a phase. They will get over. I am 15 and my brother is 13. Your sons are a bit farther apart but that is no different then us. They still love each other so don't worry about it and do what my parents do and just tune it out.
2006-07-09 23:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by alexxxa $ o's 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Professional Counseling
2006-07-09 23:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by aviator147 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they are need of separation. I don't mean long term or anything. I mean giving them separate activities, and alone time with you. At this age, they are naturally in competition with eachother. Just try to minimize this by having them compete against other guys instead of eachother, in a more civilized manner, like sports or another talent. And make sure they know that they don't have to compete for you, give them separate time with you where they have no competition for your time and attention.
2006-07-09 23:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by AmandaHugandKiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when i was 13, me and my cousins,(i'm a guy and so are they) would fight constantly. we thought everything was a competition. if this is the case, sit them down, and tell them that a family should be united and loving, not a competition.
2006-07-09 23:10:33 · answer #8 · answered by pilotman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my kids were the same way. i used to make them hug each other and say they were sorry. had to do it all the time, but eventually they stopped all the fighting. with the grandkids i tell them no marks, no blood. it calms them down. the whole thing is to lay down a rule and make it stick. and pray.
2006-07-09 23:36:30 · answer #9 · answered by Cheryl S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We did this when we were growing up in my family. It is a normal reaction to test boundaries, to test ourselves. It is "normal" unless it gets out of hand. You cannot force anyone to like anyone. Maturity comes with experience, tolerance is taught by example. It's just not easy.
2006-07-09 23:00:46 · answer #10 · answered by Lee 0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋